BDSM Question:
Here is the second part of the question from last week about how to start a scene. You can read the full question here: Question: How To Start A BDSM Scene
I think the real problem that causes subs misbehave is that there is an insecure feeling about how to start a nice evening.
I really do not now how to start from nothing. So the result was that I misbehaved so the evening could start.
After a while he found out that I used that attitude to get started, that i started to like being whipped. So he didn’t whip me on the attention-calling.
In the meanwhile other things didn’t work out that well which was the reason the relation ended.
Now I only can ask you the following questions hoping that you will do something with them and maybe the results will help many more subs and dominants with the results.
Question 2: Can you suggest alternate punishments?
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Master Bishop’s Response
If there’s one thing that I enjoy in BDSM, it’s punishments. There’s something lovely about a slave handing over their personal safety to you because they trust you. But when a slave starts to abuse that trust, that’s when things can get a little confusing – and difficult. Slaves that begin to misbehave only because they want to be flogged or whipped aren’t being submissive – they’re being manipulators.
At the same time, a Master or Mistress who is using punishment incorrectly can be doing just as much harm. So, if a Master or a Mistress begin to notice that a slave is only misbehaving in order to get attention or punishments, it’s time to switch tactics. Personally, I have a few different punishments that no one likes – and they work very well to make a manipulative slave learn what I have trained them to learn.
Before you start with the most difficult aspect of punishment, make sure you learn the key concepts behind punishing a submissive.
The Physical Strain Tests
If I’m feeling especially mean or saucy, I might punish a slave by having them do things that are more physical in nature. What this means to me is that I might have a slave hold themselves in an uncomfortable position, one that could not possibly give them any pleasure.
Some examples of this might be:
- Sitting with their knees bent and their back against the wall (They should look like a chair) for an extended period of time. To make it worse I might even sit on them their they are straining.
- Sitting on a car mat with the poky bits up
- Lifting heavy rocks or bricks from one pile to another and back again.
- Holding up a large bucket of sand, water or rocks in an outstretched hand for an extended period of time.
You get the idea. The slave might still get pain as a punishment, but it might not be the kind that brings them any pleasure – nor should it. When a slave has done something wrong, they should not get anything good in return.
The No Touch Policy
I might suggest that a Master or Mistress that doesn’t touch their slave is one that is punishing in a worse way. The slave wants to be recognized by their Dominant, so when the Dominant refuses to touch them, it shows the displeasure and the disappointment. I would tell the slave why I was not touching them and that I would not be touching them again until they understood what their place was in the relationship.
I might read to them the contract that we had in place, showing them exactly what they agreed to do for me. If they felt the contract needed to be changed, then we could discuss that.
Until they began to prove themselves again, all of the training would be done only with my voice.
The Silent Treatment
The one punishment of last resort is stopping all training and give them a set period of time to think about what they have done. Whether this means that you discontinue training for a while or you simply refuse to train them until they begin to follow your rules again, that’s up to the Master or the Mistress. I would simply say at the end of the training session that went badly that I was upset and that I felt that we could not train again until the slave straightened up their thinking.
I might offer one more training session for the slave to prove me wrong, but if that didn’t work, I would stop training altogether for at least a week. During that time, the slave would need to write down the reasons why they weren’t following commands, why they were being manipulative, and what changes they are going to make to rectify the situation.
Again, this is a punishment of last resort. It is always better to work with a slave to help them see the error of their ways, rather then just pushing them off. However, if you have spent the last 6 months trying different punishments and your sub is still trying to be manipulative or refusing to obey. Then a break might be needed for the slave and for the Dominant to re-evaluate what it is they need from this training as well.
Every slave goes through a period when they have troubles obeying, but a good Master or Mistress will use the right tools to harness their slaves once more. And once the slave is obedient, then they might be able to get punished in the ways that make them scream in pleasure. Maybe.
Learn the skills you need to take control of your slave and have them begging to serve you with For more ways to enhance your slave training check out BDSM Slave Training.
If you have an idea about different ways to punish manipulative submissives, please add your idea in a comment below.
Regards,
Master Bishop
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Copyright 2008-2023 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com
By reading and accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are responsible for any use of the information in this article, and hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates harmless in any claim or event.
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
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Punishment Basics – Why, When And How
Most of us can recall a time when we did something wrong as a child and then were punished for it. We were probably made to sit in a corner or take a ‘time out.’ When a slave has done something wrong, as W/we have learned from childhood, sometimes punishments can be effective at correcting the behavior that is if the submissive wants the behavior changed. The point of the punishment is to link the inappropriate behavior with the feelings of the unpleasant punishment which will occur if the behavior is repeated. This allows people to learn (some learn more effectively from punishment than others) from their mistakes so they will remember to not let it happen again. To do this, the Master/Mistress can employ a number of mind controls that will cause the slave to rethink their behavior and reconsider their future actions. Before you can include any kind of punishment training into your slave training there are a few necessities:
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To avoid being “topped from the bottom”, I immediately inform the sub that if they misbehave deliberately because they like the punishment, enjoy whatever it is, because each time you misbehave, the punishment will be DIFFERENT! If I ever run out of ideas, I fall back on the classic, “You tell me what you think your punishment should be…”. Then, enjoy the eventual torture to the sub when every idea is rejected, (for awhile,anyway). I’ll usually reject 10-12 ideas, so by the time I agree, they’ve already had one punishment!
Great suggestions Frank. I love making a sub choose their own punishment. You can always see that they never want to make the punishment that bad, but at the same time they don’t want to disappoint you by making it too easy. Especially when they know they need and deserve to be punished for bad behavior. Thank you for sharing your ideas.
Regards,
Master Bishop
A southern belle I owned for awhile some years ago told me that kneeling on grits was a physical punishment she endured as a child. It too has the advantage of building discomfort slowly, and if continued for a long time can become quite excruciating. I doubt serious damage could result.
If my slave misbehaves, I make them eat a whole can of dog food with no water to wash it down. And they are not allowed to brush their teeth until I say so.
Eating dog food, at least if you do this on a regular basis, is not good for your sub’s health because dog food is not designed for humans and not subjected to the same safety regulations as human food is(https://www.quora.com/Is-it-safe-for-a-human-to-eat-dog-or-cat-food, http://m.livescience.com/32195-what-happens-if-you-eat-dog-food.html). You might want to consider a more sane punishment for your sub, unless you want to risk getting them hospitalized. I can hardly think of an offense serious enough for them to deserve a health hazard.
It snowed this week for the first time since 2009. I had to work and told my slave and sub that I wanted them to build a snowman in the front yard for me to see when I pulled up after work. All day went by and I expected to see a snowman when I pulled up to the house. To my surprise there was nothing but untouched snow when I pulled into my driveway. When I went in the house, I told the slave and sub that I was disappointed and that I’d been looking forward to seeing it all day. I asked why they did not do it. Both of them mentioned in an earlier text that one had cramps and the other one had a sore throat, but did not ask for permission to skip the directive I had given them. I figured an attempt would be good, did not need anything huge. When I told them I was disappointed they said they were sorry but reminded me that they both did not feel well. I told them that I would not have made them follow thru if I had known that they felt that bad. I told them that neither one asked for permission to skip the task and they just failed to perform their duty to me. As discipline, I told them they were not allowed to be in my presence and to leave my quarters. After 30 mins slave informed me dinner was ready and I could not find the sub…looked outside and the poor sore throated sub was trying to make me a snowman at 7:30 at night. I hugged her kissed her and scooted her back in…then went to dinner and found that slave had made a little snowman about six inches tall and had it sitting on my dinner plate. I was soo touched.They truly did not feel well and tried to correct the situation. I explained that all they ever have to do is ask and I would have allowed them to skip the task. They hated my disappointment. Their efforts of retribution warmed my heart.
My master and I just had are first bad training session. I say just no to him Instead of of are safety word that I do not like to do something.. At first he started to whip me for saying no but then quickly stopped than strapped me up just till I was hanging on my tip toes made to think about what I had done and told me that he may have to let me go.. The hanging part was not as bad as the fear of losing him, needless to say I will never forget that lesson and will never again disobey my master
As for the holding large objects in extended hands, I suggest that the Master tries this too by themselves. Even having your arms spread so that you form a “T” for over 3 minutes is difficult (i’m a synchro skater, we train like this all the time and for a beginner it’s really hard when you’re not used to using those muscles)
Personally I don’t think that all subs/slaves try to manipulate their Doms/Masters. That is a blanket statement. That being said, my Master never uses pain as punishment or to correct behaviour. He comes up with more creative methods that are far better for making his point with me. They are always something I don’t like but can be as simple as sending me to bed early by myself or telling me to stop talking. I’m a masochist so pain is always saved for play only. We have been together for nearly two years and the one time he did need to actually punish me for something serious he woke me up in the morning to forced deep throating as at the time I had a very strong gag reflex. It was a very unpleasant experience for me.
Any punishment that takes a little longer/harder is not enjoyable for a slave. For example, I love been bound by my master and really enjoy the first few minutes of it, especially if he is toying with me while I am helpless, but laying on the floor hog-tied for an hour is awful, especially if master just leaves me there and goes to another room. I would regret all my mistakes and be begging for mercy. Same with spanking – feels good first few swats, but after that it just hurts and I want it to stop, but I can’t. I beg, I cry and if master shows me mercy, I do feel very thankful and regret my mistake. I ask for forgiveness in most humbling way I can and I mean it.
As a submissive my Mistress or Master always humiliated me with kneeling punishments as an alternative punishment. I always had to strip naked and kneel on rice for 20-30 minutes with my nose in the corner. Then at times my Mistress would call friends or acquaintances to come visit us at the condo. This was embarrassing and humiliating for me as a sub.
A submissive not realizing they were trying to top from the bottom to is one thing acting out because they cannot express something is is another. Manipulation is abuse the lifestly is full of abusive ” submissives” as it is Abusive dominates. Someone who wants to manipulate and undermining you cares not about you . If you have to enforce constantly to keep them in line you are dropping rank and servicing them .