BDSM Population Bigger Then You Think

The other day I was talking with a female friend and W/we somehow got onto the subject of BDSM. At the first mention of BDSM, she immediately stiffened her spine and said in that disgusted tone “Isn’t that where all those Dominatrix women kick men in their balls or stick needles in them and cut each other?”

I replied: “Why do you think that is what BDSM is?”

“Because that is how BDSM is always portrayed on all the news reports or in movies or those TV crime and documentary shows.” she said as if it should be obvious for Me to know that.

So I asked: “Do you enjoy being spanked?”

“Oh god I love being spanked” she quickly blurted out as she turned a beautiful shade of pink before realizing what she had said.

I explained to her that spanking (which she clearly enjoys) is a fetish under the BDSM umbrella. Intrigued by my explanation and interested in learning more O/our conversation continued. It turns out My friend has many more interests within BDSM than she had ever thought. For example, she loves being dominated by a strong muscular man in the bed room, which is clearly a Domination fetish.

So why did this person think BDSM was so disgusting, when clearly she would enjoy many of the activities found within BDSM? Well like many people their first thought of something they don’t understand is to envision the most extreme situations. This is very easy to do with BDSM, because the media shows nothing but the extremes within BDSM culture/lifestyle. The media needs to get people’s attention so they’ll watch a show or a news cast, using, sensationalism and showing extreme examples of a lifestyle is a very easy way to get people’s attention. They show women in super tight latex corsets, 10 inch heels, a dungeon spilling over in toys, leather/chain equipment and a slave huddled over in a corner after a beating that would make most men cry.

The thing My friend and many people don’t understand is that pain, dungeons, latex; these are just a few aspects of a much larger lifestyle. And the number of people who could find that their interests could also be considered a fetish under the BDSM umbrella is bigger than you would think. Yes, there are many people in the lifestyle that have elaborate costumes, dungeons, toys and everything you can imagine the BDSM world is supposed to incorporate There is nothing wrong with living this way. But it is not a representation of the way the entire BDSM population lives or their lifestyle. In fact, it is a small portion of the population. These people tend to be the ones who are more comfortable expressing their desires openly.

The large majority of the BDSM population tends to not have elaborate costumes, instead choosing to go with skin and underwear. Their play time is limited to a bedroom, instead of a brick laid dungeon. Elaborate toys are replaced by common body parts. The fact is, a study was conducted with over 2,500 women who viewed themselves as being into BDSM and the three most common activities that these women enjoyed were kissing, cuddling and spanking. Doesn’t sound very kinky, does it?
The point is; the large majority of the BDSM population is people just like my friend who like to be spanked or to be the spanker. They are not into the extremes aspects of the BDSM Lifestyle. They enjoy their kink for what it is and that is all that matters. But they are no less kinky and no less a part of the BDSM population then the Dominant who has a full blown dungeon and harem of slaves in their basement.

It’s like being a Lord of the Rings fan; the trilogy has a massive following worldwide. There are the extreme fans who love to dress up like their favorite characters go to conventions or go out to the woods and role-play their fantasy. Then there are a large number of fans that don’t like dressing up and role playing but they still attend the conventions and own trilogy collectables. Are those people any less of a fan? Are the fans that like to dress up and role play bad fans because their interests or actions seem too extreme? In both cases the answer is a resounding No!
You are no less of a fan for not dressing up and you are not a bad person for enjoying your favorite interest the way you want to enjoy it. Either way you are a fan and part of the Trilogy population.

The same is true for BDSM; you are no less of a participant because you aren’t into needles, cutting, electro torture, costumes, role play, etc. Its ok for you to enjoy your kinks the way that you enjoy them and you can have as many kinks or as few as you like. You would still be counted as part of the BDSM population.

So when you are out and you meet someone that thinks BDSM is all about pain, dress-up, cutting etc. don’t become upset, Instead consider that this person probably does enjoy some of the activities within BDSM on some level and they just don’t recognize that activity as part of BDSM and that its ok for them to like those activities for what they are. Once you open communication and find common interests with someone like this, you will be surprised by how open they may become to understanding and accepting the rest of the lifestyle. They may never add more or new activities to their kink list, or dress up and go out to fetish nights but they will be more educated and accepting. They may even count themselves now as part of the BDSM population.

This is the point, there are far more people in this world who are interested in BDSM then W/we will ever know. The majority of those people don’t even know they are interested because their interests seem so mild in comparison to the extremes that they think BDSM is. Help share with those people the joy and freedom that can be found by just acknowledging, understanding, accepting and enjoying the kinks you have, no matter how extreme or mild they may seem. You could be adding to our growing population and or perhaps just encouraging better understanding and acceptance of the lifestyle.

Regards,
Master Bishop

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