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The Difference Between BDSM And Abuse
I continually receive emails and comments at The BDSM Training Academy about how BDSM is a form of abuse. I find it very upsetting, especially when we try so hard to educate people on how to incorporate a safe, sane and consensual form of BDSM here at the Academy. BDSM is meant to enhance and strengthen a healthy, loving relationship.
The Difference Between Fake And Real Dominants
Choosing the Dominant that you want to serve is a serious decision. One that is taken far too lightly but in fact should not be. Making yourself mentally and physically vulnerable to the wrong person can have terrible repercussions. A genuine Dominant can produce a supportive relationship that will allow a submissive to feel safe enough to be their true self.
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How to Embrace Submission in Your Vanilla Life
The vanilla world is one realm where Dominants can often have less presence or influence in their submissive’s life, intentional or not. Unless you live with your Dominant in a 24/7 dynamic or your Dominant is often physically with you, the majority of vanilla situations in your life will likely occur without your Dominant’s immediate presence or guidance. This can be for better or worse!
BDSM Protocols: Part 1 – Introduction
I feel like the least-likely guy on the Earth to write an article on BDSM protocols. It’s a subject that has fascinated me since I first discovered how kinky I was, and something I’ve studied since the 90s. But, it’s also been a subject that I always figured was too large and too complex, or just something that I didn’t have enough experience to write
How To Respect And Follow Your Dominant’s Guidance In Their Absence In Kinky Situations
The presence of a Dominant can be hugely comforting in public. Having their guidance and being able to follow their lead in real time can relieve the stress and pressure of making decisions! But sadly our Dominants can’t follow us everywhere (or vice versa!) and often we must operate without their immediate guidance.
So let’s talk about how you as a submissive can respect and follow
Communication Standards for Submissives & Littles
The Importance of Effective Communication Effective communication is an important pillar of any healthy relationship. I’ve found that the communication skills I’ve gained through my Teacher/student kink dynamic have helped me improve my ability to communicate in other areas of my life. Learning to better express myself has made all the difference, not only in my romantic relationships but also in platonic, familial, and professional
Yes, Dominants Need Aftercare Too
I traveled with my submissive to a public dungeon out-of-town and attended a great seminar followed by an open play session. I was inspired by the seminar to try some of the things that the presenter had mentioned. What followed was a fun session for us. It was an intense and challenging session for the submissive, but it was equally immersive and draining on me
The Ins and Out of Domestic Discipline
If you like the idea of adopting a 24/7 Total Power Exchange relationship, Domestic Discipline (DD) could be just your thing. A consensual lifestyle choice based on the framework of Domination and submission (D/s); DD incorporates one partner taking full control while the other complies. This type of affiliation isn’t for everyone, but my husband/Dom and I have enjoyed a fruitful DD relationship for over
Undercover Littles: Integrating Little Me In Daily Life
The little’s community was not just the first community I encountered when I stumbled into the lifestyle in 2018, but also one of the warmest and most accepting. Despite my lack of familiarity with the language, practices, or dynamic structures, it felt like I had found my people at last. Being “little” is more of a character trait than a hat I wear during a
The Art Of Asking For Help As A Submissive
Wow. Sitting here at a computer, writing for the Academy again. It feels: surreal. Amazing. And also completely terrifying. The words don’t come as easy as they once did, yet this is the very moment I have been fighting to get back to for the past year. See, this past year I was fighting a cancer which, up until a month or so ago, I
Creating Boundaries From Scratch
My upbringing didn’t prepare me for the concept of boundaries. Instead, I learned that privacy was seen as a negative and equated to secrecy. I also learned that self-sacrifice was one of the cornerstones of love and that to say no to someone you loved made you a mean, evil person. Needless to say, I left home primed and ready for victimhood, codependent relationships, and
The Seduction of Abduction Play
The bag is pulled roughly over my head as strong arms lift me unceremoniously from the ground. I’m manhandled into the back of a vehicle, pushed to the floor, and held down as my wrists and ankles are tightly bound.
I let out a panicked scream and a large hand clamps my mouth shut. Through the rough material, I can hear a muffled male voice telling
How to Master Fingering Fun
My head rests on the red pad of the St Andrew’s Cross, my wrists and ankles fastened tightly, as my Sir delivers a paddling to redden my cheeks. I squirm a little, the impact stings, but it’s also making me very wet. Sexual tension bubbles as I try to catch Sir’s eye. I’m hoping he will read my mind and indulge me by bringing this
Submissive Self-Collaring
When I first found the kink world, I suppose what I was looking for was direction. As a submissive, little, and pet, having a guardian in the lifestyle and life was something that appealed to me. What I discovered after finding myself in lackluster partnerships, toxic pairings, and uncomfortable situations was that a part of me was looking for someone to lead me because I
