While many people focus mostly on play and training of BDSM, aftercare is absolutely essential. After a person has been pushed to their physical and mental limits, their mind and body can experience a massive drop as they try to orientate themselves back to reality.

After an intense BDSM session, scene or training experience both the Dominant and submissive or all parties involved will take some time to recover known as aftercare.  This time is usually where the Dominant will provide a safe physical and mental space for the submissive, so the submissive is able to let go and relax after such a physically and mentally exhausting experience.

This is a truly important part of all BDSM play as it allows both partners to come down from the scene, reconnect with their partner and relax into a comforting safe environment.

While aftercare is normally meant for the submissive’s benefit, aftercare can be just a crucial for the Dominant’s well-being after an intense scene. It is meant to be a low stress environment where each partner’s mental, emotional and physical needs are supported and nurtured.

Aftercare can include things like:

  • cuddling
  • talking/laughing
  • stretching
  • massaging
  • blankets for warmth
  • tending to injuries from play
  • fluids to rehydrate
  • food to replenish fuel
  • setting up a special environment
  • special comforting items (ie blanket, clothes, toys)

Just as everyone has different kinks; everyone has different aftercare needs. So it is important in your negotiations that you figure out before your partner is a sweaty, shaking, crying mass on the floor, what exactly they will need from you for their aftercare

A BDSM scene can be as intense both mentally and physically as running a marathon. Aftercare allows both partner’s to cooldown and recover and it is truly essential to any play. Without proper care and support many people can experience what is known as sub drop or dom drop.

Make sure you are giving your partner what they need to rest and recover after your BDSM play.

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