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The Difference Between BDSM And Abuse
I continually receive emails and comments at The BDSM Training Academy about how BDSM is a form of abuse. I find it very upsetting, especially when we try so hard to educate people on how to incorporate a safe, sane and consensual form of BDSM here at the Academy. BDSM is meant to enhance and strengthen a healthy, loving relationship.
The Difference Between Fake And Real Dominants
Choosing the Dominant that you want to serve is a serious decision. One that is taken far too lightly but in fact should not be. Making yourself mentally and physically vulnerable to the wrong person can have terrible repercussions. A genuine Dominant can produce a supportive relationship that will allow a submissive to feel safe enough to be their true self.
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Submissive Self-Collaring
When I first found the kink world, I suppose what I was looking for was direction. As a submissive, little, and pet, having a guardian in the lifestyle and life was something that appealed to me. What I discovered after finding myself in lackluster partnerships, toxic pairings, and uncomfortable situations was that a part of me was looking for someone to lead me because I
Starting A BDSM Scene
My first experience crafting a scene with a submissive partner was a disaster. I read somewhere that you should have the submissive say some sort of repetitive mantra to begin the scene. The idea was to get her to have positive affirmation about being submissive to me and… whatever.
She was just not into it, the whole thing got derailed from the beginning, and I scrambled
Kink Healing: Part 2
A continuation of kink healing part 1 to delve deeper into understanding the potential healing power of kink.
When I first found BDSM I had many misconceptions about the potential of the lifestyle. I was under the impression BDSM was just a fun bedroom activity to escape the real world and that it could be a place to connect with other “freaks” like myself. While there
Submissive Training Lesson 1: Communication
Submissive Training Lesson: Discover the three submissive holes that must be open and available for the Dominant’s use at all times
Why Flogging Is My Favorite Impact Play
A submissive girl I met at a munch invited me to my first play party. As my evening began, I was full of hopes and dreams and countless fantasies, but exceptionally short on experience. Not only did I learn a lot on that evening, but I got to play for the first time too. And that experience created a lifelong love of impact play that
Kink Healing
The kink lifestyle has always been incredibly fruitful for me. I’ve been able to explore myself sexually, discover what makes me tick, and been able to tap into pleasures I never knew could exist. Beyond the physical pleasure, I’ve been fortunate enough to have found a place of healing within the kink lifestyle. I am someone who has suffered from mental health illness since my
Behavior Modification: My Thirst for Self-Improvement
My nose sits uncomfortably close to the smooth baby blue bedroom wall and my eyes are drawn to the tiny spider that’s edging its way to the corner. I’m itching to shift my weight from foot to foot and stretch my arms toward the ceiling, but I don’t. Instead, I sigh inwardly and mentally run through the events that led to the extended period of
What I Learned as a Submissive Helped Me be a Better Dominant
I was sweeping the lobby of a dungeon in Dallas when a sudden burst of emotion overtook me, and I began to cry. It wasn’t sadness, but an overarching swell of what I was doing, who I was doing it for, and a deep sense of presence in that moment. Over the course of the last 20 plus years I’ve been a member of the
BDSM Lifestyle 101: Making Your Fantasy a Reality
I will forever remember the day I realized the lifestyle I had only ever dreamed possible, was actually my reality. Way back in December 2014, I knelt before my Sir, lifted my hair into a ponytail, and felt the titanium of my collar lock around my neck. I was in Heaven. Pure bliss. And couldn’t believe my fantasies were now a reality–and how in love
Heightened Hogtie Pleasures
As a Board-Certified Clinical Sexologist, I counsel individuals and couples in overcoming barriers they may be experiencing with orgasm. Guiding individuals through experiences to ensure that they experience their best orgasm. In BDSM different positions can be utilized to not only bring on a different state of mind, but different types of orgasms and sensations that can release a new kind of energy and pleasure.
Refocusing Harmful Traits
While navigating the kink space, I’ve experienced many moments of vulnerability. Moments that shed light on some toxic traits that I wasn’t aware I possessed. A toxic trait, at least how I define it, is anything that is detrimental to yourself or another person in a relationship. All I knew is that these weren’t traits that I wanted to keep.
A submissive girl’s guide to drawing out the Dominant in your partner
So, what do we do when we find ourselves out of sync with our partners? When we want to deepen our submission, or switch from a top to a bottom and our partners are not on the same page?
Being dominated is one of the most common fantasies, especially in people who identify as woman. The most common themes of sexual submission
