We all hear vanilla people talking about their resolutions this time of year: lose weight, eat healthier, get more confidence, spend more time with family. But what about our kinky side. What resolutions do you have for yourself this year. Eat more pussy? Spend more time doing vanilla things a kinky way? Or are you rewriting your contracts from years past. Trying out new kinks in your ongoing relationships. Or resolving to find a relationship with yourself or with a new boo. No matter how you do it, find a way to get a fresh start this new year.
Sharing Is Caring
Spice Up Current Dynamics
Spicing up current dynamics is always a great way to start out the new year. But how, oh how, do you perfect what already is so fun and kinky. Let’s dive into a few ways to eat your heart out in a new way:
- Plus One: Perhaps you have never considered polyamory in your relationship but you both want a new friend around. One to serve alongside your current submissive, or one to co-dom your submissive alongside you. Adding in a third party whether a fuck toy, a dating partner, or a full-time completion to a triad can be a great way to get started fresh this year. Who knows, maybe you will be starting a poly family you never thought of, with more kinksters to cum in years to come.
- Starting Soft: Perhaps it’s time to dare to be different and take a look at your soft limits. Perhaps there are a few you want to try out now that you are feeling braver. Or perhaps your limits list altogether needs a refresh. A new year, new you, with new explorations (or even adding new limits after trying things out this past year). It’s all about starting new and fresh in your relationship.
- Diving Into New Kinks: After engaging in this dynamic maybe it’s time for you and your partner to dive into new kinks. This BDSM Fetish Checklist is a great start. You and your partner can fill it out together or separate and then compare. Look into those you don’t know about and see if they fit you. See where your interests link up and you maybe both want to explore something. Maybe you have been afraid to admit to a kink you want to try, but that fear may actually be nervous excitement. Open up to all the kinky possibilities. And see just how far you can extend your relationship this year.
- Pressing Refresh on Old Contracts: If you are in Master/slave dynamics or any dynamic at all, there may be some old contract on a dusty shelf you haven’t pulled out for years.Or maybe you have never written a contract with each other at all. This time of year is a great time to either re-write one completely, renegotiate your old one, or break one out for the first time. For more information on writing contracts click here.
Resolve with Self
In the rush of the holidays and the springing forth of a new year, we sometimes forget ourselves in the bustle. But remember, a new year can mean a new you and no, that doesn’t always mean a skinnier you, or more profitable you. Sometimes it can mean a kinkier you.
- Explore those kinks: Even if you don’t have a partner, exploring kinks that you might like could be something you simply do to update your profile or just get to know your kinky self better. I do a new BDSM Desire Checklist, or do a new BDSM test every year to see where I am now, and what my needs and wants are. Then, as a submissive, I can ask my partner to help me explore new areas and to help me increase areas where my score is lower than I want.
- Revamping your profile: For those of you with profiles on Fetlife or KinkD, this year could be a time for you to rewrite your profile. Maybe you were looking but now are working on yourself. Or were a slave, but now want to just be submissive or explore your little side. Whatever you want to be this coming year, or even just this month you can be. Just re-vamp your profile and begin exploring your new side.
- Working on Self: For both Dominants and submissives, it’s important to resolve to work on self. Knowing ones self more allows both a Dom and submissive serve each other better. Take time to truly get to know you again. Maybe your insecurities are greater than you thought and you need either your Dom or submissive to build you up more.Or help you to work on your body or mind to fix your areas of insecurity. Or maybe you are more Dominant than you thought or submissive than you are being, and want your partner to help you build that side of you, whether allowing you to be a switch with them or a new partner; or allowing you to push more into your already Dominant or submissive side. And if you have no partner, then explore being more Dominant or submissive in your work place or household, either looking for ways to lead others or to serve others more. No matter what, do what builds you up, because you are your partner for life, and because you are freaking amazing.
Wrapping It Up
Whether you are with a partner or alone starting off this year there are things you can do to make sure this is your best year yet. Spicing up your current relationship with new kinks, new contracts, or just a fresh perspective can help dust off the old, and begin anew. Maybe you start adding in new ways for your submissive to serve, or get back to those maintenance spankings which somehow always lead to a fun time in the bedroom, no matter what lean on each other this new year and build each other up. Or maybe it’s just you and yourself this year. That means it’s a great time to get to know you, or discover parts of you either you haven’t nurtured or have yet to show the world. And even if you have a partner, making sure you are building you up, and revamping profiles, inventories, and your life to fit the true you, is always a great way to feel like you are stripping off those rags of old and stepping into that sexy attire of the new, evolving, rediscovered you. Happy new year kinksters.
By Bratty Ann
Bratty Ann has been in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle for 4 years serving as a slave, a pet, a submissive, and, of course, a brat. She has developed a deep passion for the lifestyle and for educating others on keeping it safe, sane, and consensual. Her favorite topics to educate on include domestic discipline, taming brats, and mental health in BDSM.
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