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Creating Boundaries Before You Engage In BDSM

Creating Boundaries From Scratch

My upbringing didn’t prepare me for the concept of boundaries. Instead, I learned that privacy was seen as a negative and equated to secrecy. I also learned that self-sacrifice was one of the cornerstones of love and that to say no to someone you loved made you a mean, evil person. Needless to say, I left home primed and ready for victimhood, codependent relationships, and heartbreak.

I found myself in situation after situation where I was constantly made a doormat. It didn’t matter how nice I was or how often I changed myself, the expectation was for me to take all of my partners’ negativity and smile while doing so. It had gotten to the point where mistreatment was so normalized, I could never see the warning signs and found myself in one soul-sucking relationship after another.

Seduction Of Abduction Play In BDSM

The Seduction of Abduction Play

The bag is pulled roughly over my head as strong arms lift me unceremoniously from the ground. I’m manhandled into the back of a vehicle, pushed to the floor, and held down as my wrists and ankles are tightly bound.

I let out a panicked scream and a large hand clamps my mouth shut. Through the rough material, I can hear a muffled male voice telling me to keep still and be quiet. I’m scared, I can’t see anything and my heart is racing. The engine starts up and we drive off into the black of night. I’m not sure where I’m being taken or what’s going to happen to me. I am helpless and at the mercy of my abductor.

The Strength Within Submission

Submissive Self-Collaring

When I first found the kink world, I suppose what I was looking for was direction. As a submissive, little, and pet, having a guardian in the lifestyle and life was something that appealed to me. What I discovered after finding myself in lackluster partnerships, toxic pairings, and uncomfortable situations was that a part of me was looking for someone to lead me because I …

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Starting A BDSM Scene

Starting A BDSM Scene

My first experience crafting a scene with a submissive partner was a disaster. I read somewhere that you should have the submissive say some sort of repetitive mantra to begin the scene. The idea was to get her to have positive affirmation about being submissive to me and… whatever.

She was just not into it, the whole thing got derailed from the beginning, and I scrambled to recover.
First times are fraught with complexity and questions and awkwardness, and BDSM first times are not exempt.

It’s easy to forget what it’s like when you finally find someone that wants to play (win!) and is going to let you be dominant (double win!). But then what do you do next?

I’m going to do my best to help you through starting a scene.

Healing With Kink Part 2

Kink Healing: Part 2

A continuation of kink healing part 1 to delve deeper into understanding the potential healing power of kink.

When I first found BDSM I had many misconceptions about the potential of the lifestyle. I was under the impression BDSM was just a fun bedroom activity to escape the real world and that it could be a place to connect with other “freaks” like myself. While there is a level of truth to that, the more I leaned into the lifestyle, the more I discovered it’s true potential. Because the BDSM world is so steeped in vulnerability, connection, and communication, it serves as the perfect arena for growth and personal development.

When I came to this conclusion, it delved deeper into experimenting with different elements of BDSM and whether or not it could transform my life.

Why I Love Playing With Floggers

Why Flogging Is My Favorite Impact Play

A submissive girl I met at a munch invited me to my first play party. As my evening began, I was full of hopes and dreams and countless fantasies, but exceptionally short on experience. Not only did I learn a lot on that evening, but I got to play for the first time too. And that experience created a lifelong love of impact play that …

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Kink Healing

Kink Healing

The kink lifestyle has always been incredibly fruitful for me. I’ve been able to explore myself sexually, discover what makes me tick, and been able to tap into pleasures I never knew could exist. Beyond the physical pleasure, I’ve been fortunate enough to have found a place of healing within the kink lifestyle. I am someone who has suffered from mental health illness since my …

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Behavior Modification Thirst For More

Behavior Modification: My Thirst for Self-Improvement

My nose sits uncomfortably close to the smooth baby blue bedroom wall and my eyes are drawn to the tiny spider that’s edging its way to the corner. I’m itching to shift my weight from foot to foot and stretch my arms toward the ceiling, but I don’t. Instead, I sigh inwardly and mentally run through the events that led to the extended period of …

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Devotion within the BDSM Lifestyle

BDSM Lifestyle 101: Making Your Fantasy a Reality

I will forever remember the day I realized the lifestyle I had only ever dreamed possible, was actually my reality. Way back in December 2014, I knelt before my Sir, lifted my hair into a ponytail, and felt the titanium of my collar lock around my neck. I was in Heaven. Pure bliss. And couldn’t believe my fantasies were now a reality–and how in love …

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Extra Special BDSM Gifts
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You Have Got My Mind Racing!

I have been rereading your book over and over, each time I learn something new.

D

Thanks to you I finally realize how strong of a person I am! 

P.S. just love all the new tricks I have learned

Mistress Sarah

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