While navigating the kink space, I’ve experienced many moments of vulnerability. Moments that shed light on some toxic traits that I wasn’t aware I possessed. A toxic trait, at least how I define it, is anything that is detrimental to yourself or another person in a relationship. All I knew is that these weren’t traits that I wanted to keep.
The first time I heard the term “alpha submissive” it resonated with me immediately. It was described as the woman boss who doesn’t back down in the corporate world but once she’s behind closed doors, the pumps come off and the collar goes on. An independent woman who doesn’t need a man but always needs her Daddy.
Conceptually it made sense to me, but when I thought about it a little deeper, there are many layers to alpha submissives that work very well with servant leadership. Intertwining servant leadership with my submission has not only allowed me to submit more readily but also has led to levels of personal growth and accountability that I never realized were attainable.
Something that I appreciate about the kink world is that there is space to explore myself to the fullest extent. I get to define my own meaning, discover hidden layers through play, and choose how I express myself in a non-judgmental community. Throughout my kink journey, I’ve come to understand what femininity looks like for me as well as found space to relish and lean into that femininity. In my vanilla life, up to this point, I did not have the opportunity to be as feminine as I would have liked to be so BDSM has offered me the space to reclaim the person I feel like I am.
Being a 24/7 little is something I love about myself because it gives me a chance to practice self-compassion and serves as an outlet from the realities of adulthood in a safe manner. Sometimes though, it can be difficult if I fall into littlespace at inopportune times and it can be especially challenging during times when I don’t have a caregiver to interact with. That being said, being able to navigate and be comfortable in littlespace on my own is an invaluable experience that I would never want to give up.