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Embrace Submission in Your Vanilla Life

How to Embrace Submission in Your Vanilla Life

The vanilla world is one realm where Dominants can often have less presence or influence in their submissive’s life, intentional or not. Unless you live with your Dominant in a 24/7 dynamic or your Dominant is often physically with you, the majority of vanilla situations in your life will likely occur without your Dominant’s immediate presence or guidance. This can be for better or worse! …

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BDSM Protocols

BDSM Protocols: Part 1 – Introduction

I feel like the least-likely guy on the Earth to write an article on BDSM protocols. It’s a subject that has fascinated me since I first discovered how kinky I was, and something I’ve studied since the 90s. But, it’s also been a subject that I always figured was too large and too complex, or just something that I didn’t have enough experience to write …

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Yes, Dominants Need Aftercare Too

I traveled with my submissive to a public dungeon out-of-town and attended a great seminar followed by an open play session. I was inspired by the seminar to try some of the things that the presenter had mentioned. What followed was a fun session for us. It was an intense and challenging session for the submissive, but it was equally immersive and draining on me …

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The Ins And Outs Of Domestic Discipline

The Ins and Out of Domestic Discipline

If you like the idea of adopting a 24/7 Total Power Exchange relationship, Domestic Discipline (DD) could be just your thing. A consensual lifestyle choice based on the framework of Domination and submission (D/s); DD incorporates one partner taking full control while the other complies. This type of affiliation isn’t for everyone, but my husband/Dom and I have enjoyed a fruitful DD relationship for over …

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Know Your BDSM Boundaries

Creating Boundaries From Scratch

My upbringing didn’t prepare me for the concept of boundaries. Instead, I learned that privacy was seen as a negative and equated to secrecy. I also learned that self-sacrifice was one of the cornerstones of love and that to say no to someone you loved made you a mean, evil person. Needless to say, I left home primed and ready for victimhood, codependent relationships, and heartbreak.

I found myself in situation after situation where I was constantly made a doormat. It didn’t matter how nice I was or how often I changed myself, the expectation was for me to take all of my partners’ negativity and smile while doing so. It had gotten to the point where mistreatment was so normalized, I could never see the warning signs and found myself in one soul-sucking relationship after another.

Seduction Of Abduction Play In BDSM

The Seduction of Abduction Play

The bag is pulled roughly over my head as strong arms lift me unceremoniously from the ground. I’m manhandled into the back of a vehicle, pushed to the floor, and held down as my wrists and ankles are tightly bound.

I let out a panicked scream and a large hand clamps my mouth shut. Through the rough material, I can hear a muffled male voice telling me to keep still and be quiet. I’m scared, I can’t see anything and my heart is racing. The engine starts up and we drive off into the black of night. I’m not sure where I’m being taken or what’s going to happen to me. I am helpless and at the mercy of my abductor.

Starting A BDSM Scene

Starting A BDSM Scene

My first experience crafting a scene with a submissive partner was a disaster. I read somewhere that you should have the submissive say some sort of repetitive mantra to begin the scene. The idea was to get her to have positive affirmation about being submissive to me and… whatever.

She was just not into it, the whole thing got derailed from the beginning, and I scrambled to recover.
First times are fraught with complexity and questions and awkwardness, and BDSM first times are not exempt.

It’s easy to forget what it’s like when you finally find someone that wants to play (win!) and is going to let you be dominant (double win!). But then what do you do next?

I’m going to do my best to help you through starting a scene.

Why I Love Playing With Floggers

Why Flogging Is My Favorite Impact Play

A submissive girl I met at a munch invited me to my first play party. As my evening began, I was full of hopes and dreams and countless fantasies, but exceptionally short on experience. Not only did I learn a lot on that evening, but I got to play for the first time too. And that experience created a lifelong love of impact play that …

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Behavior Modification Thirst For More

Behavior Modification: My Thirst for Self-Improvement

My nose sits uncomfortably close to the smooth baby blue bedroom wall and my eyes are drawn to the tiny spider that’s edging its way to the corner. I’m itching to shift my weight from foot to foot and stretch my arms toward the ceiling, but I don’t. Instead, I sigh inwardly and mentally run through the events that led to the extended period of …

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You Have Got My Mind Racing!

I have been rereading your book over and over, each time I learn something new.


Thanks to you I finally realize how strong of a person I am! 

P.S. just love all the new tricks I have learned

Mistress Sarah

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