The vanilla world is one realm where Dominants can often have less presence or influence in their submissive’s life, intentional or not. Unless you live with your Dominant in a 24/7 dynamic or your Dominant is often physically with you, the majority of vanilla situations in your life will likely occur without your Dominant’s immediate presence or guidance.
This can be for better or worse! Some submissives seek a clear divide between their Dominant and their vanilla life, happily engaging with their submission only when communicating with their Dominant or when having a scene together. Other submissives may feel uncomfortable entering a submissive mindset in the vanilla world, perhaps due to social pressure, career concerns or simply not wanting their self image to embody a submissive nature in day to day life. Desiring a separation between vanilla and kink personas is completely valid for any submissive if it suits their needs and wants.
I admit, I am not that type of submissive. I do not live with my Dominant and I have found during the two years of being submissive to my Dominant that I feel happiest and secure when submission is a consistent part of my vanilla life. I have loved incorporating displays of submission throughout my vanilla life even when my Dominant is not physically present, partly because it strengthens my attachment to him. For me, submission can make mundane activities engaging and reveal pleasure in the smallest details. Not to mention that submission can be a very healing, enriching mindset that has potential to grant a submissive peace when it is weaved throughout their daily life.
But my version of self-sufficient submission is not all-inclusive or flawless. My daily experience of submission fluctuates according to my needs, desires, energy level and mental health – and also my Dominant’s preferences! Some aspects of my vanilla life are untouched or private, while other parts are intensely saturated with my submission.
If you are a submissive who craves performing submissive acts regularly or aspires to maintain a submissive mindset to any extent in your vanilla life, it may be challenging to know where to start.
What areas of your vanilla life do you feel lack that connection to your Dominant? Are there any areas that feel in opposition to your Dominant’s wishes or expectations that you’d like to alter? What does your perfect version of daily submission look like and how can you take steps to manifest it?
(Please note: There is no universally ‘right’ way to navigate vanilla life as a submissive and any changes you make need to be consensual, emotionally healthy and safe for all participants in the dynamic, especially you the submissive!)
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First Thing In The Morning
Having a submissive element to your morning routine can be a great way to set yourself up for the day and help you feel fulfilled in your submission, even if your Dominant isn’t there.
One of my favourite ways to wake up is a “good morning” message to my Dominant. It can be a silly cute gif, or calling your Dominant an affectionate (or cheeky) nickname, or a voice note, video or photo! Maybe you want to write a new fantasy or something bratty in your “good morning” message to provoke your Dominant into online play with you. You might decide that the first message you send every morning is to your Dominant, before you scroll social media or brush your teeth or even get out of bed! Hopefully whatever you say when you first wake up will put a smile on your Dominant’s face and let them know your submission is on your mind.
You or your Dominant may agree on submissive tasks to complete every morning. This could include kneeling for a few minutes every morning to show dedication to them, sending a submissive photo, or (worst of all) serving corner time or writing lines to put you in a submissive mindset for the day.
Perhaps your submissive routines are health-focused or motivate you to reach your goals. For example, maybe you need to report that you had breakfast if your Dominant monitors meals to make sure you’re eating and healthy. Perhaps being submissive in the morning means going on a walk or completing a workout as ordered by your Dominant, or it might mean having an orgasm with your Dominant’s permission. If you have an anxious mind, you might want a rule that you must journal or meditate every morning, or even just having a rule about remembering to take medication can be beneficial!
For anyone struggling with body issues or insecurity, your submissive morning routine might involve building internal body positivity. Perhaps you practise positivity towards yourself by observing yourself in the mirror and writing down something you like about your body. This is a good time to remind yourself that your Dominant may be displeased that you would speak negatively about someone (i.e. you) they love and adore.
You might enjoy asking your Dominant to select an outfit for you to wear during the day (or after work if they select something inappropriate for the workplace!). Alternatively, a submissive might want to select their own clothes that they know will please their Dominant. One submissive idea that is exciting (if perhaps a tad impractical) is to write an affirmation on a small piece of paper and then keep that note with you throughout the day, perhaps on your desk, or in your pocket (or even embarrassingly tucked into your panties!). This can be a phrase that your Dominant instructs you to write, or something you choose for yourself that makes you feel submissive and owned.
If you feel quite sleepy and not in the mood to do anything actively submissive, you could try listening to a submissive podcast or audiobook while you get ready. Engaging with submissive literature or content passively can help you to mindfully connect with your submission with little to no effort! I actually find that listening to advice podcasts like ‘Ask a Sub’ not only puts me in a submissive mindset, but it helps me to think of solutions to any problems or worries I have in my dynamic or kink life.
I completely acknowledge that these suggestions might not suit your mornings at all. Maybe you prefer being alone and having time just to yourself before being ready to consciously submit every day. Maybe you can’t face anything, let alone being submissive, until coffee or breakfast. Or maybe you just don’t have time rushing around in the morning and can only have a submissive minute to yourself on the bus to work!
Alternatively, maybe you aren’t great with routines! I am bad at starting new habits and my time keeping is sporadic at best (that’s why I have my Dom to boss me about!). Maybe you can’t commit to doing something every morning, but once a week or every Tuesday or any morning that you’re happening to feel a void in your submission. Seek submissive morning activities that bring you that happy submissive glow, and avoid the ones that make you dread getting out of bed in the morning!
Public and Workplace Submission
For the sake of HR concerns and the risk of getting fired, it is probably best to keep overt displays of submission out of the workplace. However, your workplace doesn’t need to be a soul-sucking environment where you have to repress your submissive, kinky side. There are still subtle, secret ways you can keep submission on your mind without affecting your job – and none of your co-workers will ever suspect!
When it comes to the workplace, Dominants usually will want submissives to adhere to work deadlines, be respectful to co-workers and work hard. Whether the submissive finds it easy to follow through with these things is another matter!
A submissive may find it helpful to act as if their Dominant is watching over them, even if their Dominant does not or cannot personally monitor their work life. You might want to consider writing down any habits you want to change or noting down offences like being late to meetings, missing deadlines or being a little snippy over email with coworkers. This can then be self reported to your Dominant, or left for them to find themselves, if you crave consequences for your actions.
Alternatively, if you thrive from rewards instead of punishment, motivate yourself with a reward chart, tracking when you remain punctual, polite and hardworking each week and asking your Dominant to recognise these achievements when you are together. If you suffer from a poor work life balance, set yourself a time to put down technology each night and assign yourself free time to relax at the end of the day. Treat your free time as seriously as you would treat a bedtime or order given by your Dominant, and you may be able to work on a bad habit independently!
Additionally, a submissive might want to take initiative to do things (during lunch breaks ideally!) that their Dominant finds pleasing. For example, sneaking to the bathroom to take a sexy photo, sending a message expressing submissive desires, or writing up fictional fantasies that take place at your work could be an excellent way to actively express your submission without your Dominant’s instruction. A submissive might also choose to wear a plug or day collar while at work to focus their minds and feel connected to their Dominant even while in a very vanilla setting.
Remember, whatever you do, maintain a public level of professionalism, act safely, privately and consensually with a mindfulness to your vanilla coworkers and above all – don’t get fired!
Daily Rules, Rituals and Tasks
Life is not predictable, but you as a submissive can give yourself a more structured environment by employing daily rules, protocols and tasks that make you feel submissive, challenged and happy.
Your submissive tasks may include a series of chores, such as cooking dinner, cleaning, even answering emails or paying bills, even if it is not directly for your Dominant’s benefit. For service-orientated submissives, this could be heaven and a very needed part of your dynamic.
I’ve found even bratty submissives who hate cleaning (guilty) can benefit from turning cleaning into a submissive task, for opportunities to rebel, receive punishments and be put in your place – and have a lovely clean space by the end of it!
Weirdly, this has made cleaning so much more thrilling and satisfying as a display of my submission, rather than a mundane task with no rewards or incentive. Try taking photos and setting an expectation for what your home looks like when clean and take steps each day to keep it looking that way each week with your Dominant’s support.
I definitely don’t deep clean on a day basis, but I almost never deep clean anymore without making it into a “submissive cleaning day”. I ask my Dominant for motivation to clean (usually in the form of threats, deadlines or the promise of a reward) and I complete my list of chores as if doing so in service of my Dominant.
I find it even more exciting to wear a uniform per my Dominant’s orders, by putting on a sexy apron, lingerie or (humiliatingly) wearing nothing but my collar and a bum plug. I love getting into a hot bath after a cleaning day and receiving the praise from my Daddy that I’m a “good girl” and that he’s proud of me.
Some submissives find it beneficial to have a routine or ritual for when they arrive home from work. You might have curfew for when your Dominant expects you to inform them that you are home safe.
In fact, you could turn this into a playful reversal on the submissive privilege of taking off a Dominant’s shoes for them when they arrive home. Instead, when your Dominant is not present, you could ask your Dominant for permission to take off your own shoes (and swap them for fluffy slippers, of course) or place your keys in a safe space or hook (especially helpful if you have been punished before for losing or leaving keys dangerously in your front door).
This might be followed by changing into clothes chosen by your Dominant, perhaps cosy clothes to reinforce the feeling of safety in your submission, or outfits that your Dominant finds pleasing such as formal attire, underwear or nudity. These small details can become a sign of respect to your Dominant and an acknowledgement that you’ll be safely at home and following their guidance for the night.
You may also develop rules and rituals that encourage a submissive mindset. When I first became my Daddy’s submissive, we agreed that every Tuesday I would complete ten minutes of cornertime with pictures, and every Thursday I would ask Daddy for lines to write without fail. This gave me a structure of submission and an idea of my Daddy’s expectations for me in our dynamic.
For the first year or so of our dynamic, my Daddy enforced this and I followed, content to have weekly reminders of my submission when I was still defining what submission meant to me and how I wanted to express it. Over time, this requirement didn’t feel as necessary on a weekly basis and we phased it out of our rules. Now I’m either assigned cornertime and lines as punishment, or I ask for it (yes really, it must be the masochist in me).
Being submissive can take so many forms, and it can be really satisfying to get creative with your displays of submission in your daily life and find exactly what works for you and your dynamic.
Submissive Approach to Dating
Not all dynamics are romantic, or monogamous! But if your dynamic is romantic and monogamous, it will be pretty clear to you to turn down any romantic advances or offers in vanilla life. I personally would also advise informing your Dominant if anyone makes any unwanted advances for the sake of transparency, but some submissives may choose to keep this information to themselves.
If you are not in a romantic dynamic, or if you are in a dynamic that is romantic and polyamorous, your Dominant may fully support your dating life and encourage you to date other people in vanilla life. However, it is up to you and your Dominant to mutually agree on how you navigate dating alongside your dynamic, what conditions or expectations are set for the submissive, and the extent of the influence the Dominant may or may not have in the submissive’s dating life.
You may decide to keep dating as a private part of your vanilla life – this will work well in a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” polyamorous dynamic where your Dominant feels more at ease not knowing who you date and any of the details. However, I would still advise making your date aware of your dynamic and your kinks, even if they choose not to participate. The last thing you want is to hurt someone who did not consent to entering a polyamorous dynamic or who views your dynamic with your Dominant as cheating or unfaithful behaviour.
Acting independently within your dating life may make the submissive or Dominant feel detached, disrespected or as if they are undermining their dynamic – feelings which need to be addressed and resolved before a submissive pursues vanilla dates. If your Dominant feels more reassured to be consistently made aware or involved in their submissive’s dating life, and you are happy to have your Dominant’s input, there are multiple routes the submissive and Dominant can take.
The first step might be an agreement that the Dominant helps the submissive to set up their dating profile and approves any photos uploaded or sent; making this step a collaborative process can allow for complete transparency between Dominant and submissive.
Dating profiles are an opportunity for submissives to display information such as your polyamorous dynamic or subtle references to your kink that you can expand on in conversations. This can aid submissives in practising ethical polyamory and making their vanilla dates aware of the submissive’s lifestyle so that they can opt out early. This can also be a great way of vetting potential dates who might not be accepting or open to your lifestyle in kink.
Discretion and privacy is your choice, but try to be honest where possible to those you deem safe and trustworthy potential dating partners.
The second step may be negotiating the level that your Dominant is involved in helping the submissive select potential dating partners. Your Dominant may be happy for you to freely choose whomever you wish to date, as long as they are informed about upcoming dates and how the relationship progresses.
Other Dominants may want to know who their submissive matches with, have rules for how conversations progress (i.e. whether conversations become sexual, what information is shared, etc) and whether the submissive sets up a date or not.
Some Dominants may even want to have a veto power – it needs to be mutually agreed between the submissive and Dominant whether this is actually a feasible, fair way of proceeding for both parties. In some cases, a submissive might feel relieved to have a second opinion from their Dominant and their blessing – however, some may feel it is too restrictive.
When a date occurs, the Dominant and submissive needs to be on the same page about what the submissive is allowed to do on the date and to what extent the submissive will discuss the date after it has happened.
Some Dominants may want to establish a rule that – if your body belongs to your Dominant – you must tell them everything that happens to you when you go on a date, which may include any discussions, intimacy, romance or sexual contact. A submissive may find this invasive – or they may find it liberating to be fully honest with their Dominant, and have their Dominant share in the excitement of a successful date.
Other Dominants may want to only know the bare minimum, or just be informed whether the submissive enjoyed herself and is safe. The decision as to whether the submissive goes on a second date may be entirely in the hands of the submissive, or they might ask for their Dominant’s input to feel secure that the potential relationship is supported by their Dominant.
Additionally, there are small rituals or displays of submission that you can attach to your dating life in order to show respect to your Dominant and make them feel appreciated and involved during this process. For example, you might decide to always take a photo of your date night outfit for your Dominant or send a positive, appreciative message to your Dominant before setting off to remind them how you value them as a partner. To avoid your Dominant worrying about your safety, you may want to send a message when you are travelling to and from the date and also when you have arrived home safely.
You may wish to complete submissive tasks (cornertime, submissive poses, lines, acts of service) before or after a date as an offering of submission to your Dominant and to reinforce your dynamic. Alternatively, submissives may wish to wear a subtle or secret symbol of their submission during the date, in the form of a day collar, specific clothing, or even a plug or chastity device! A Dominant may also want to organise a session before or after the submissive goes on a date to re-establish ownership and have a moment to reconnect and reassure one another.
Your Dominant will need to respect your boundaries in this area of your life and not insert themselves into situations where the submissive does not wish them to be. Be cautious and aware of jealousy from either side and try to communicate honestly and openly to address any issues when they arise. If adding submissive elements to your dating life is not enriching or healthy for you and your dynamic, you may need to reduce or remove the influence of your Dominant in this aspect of your life.
Ideally, with enough compromise and communication, any conditions agreed upon will make the Dominant and submissive happy and allow them to pursue outside romantic interests in a safe and mutually beneficial environment.
Friends and Family
Many Dominants choose not to interfere with a submissive’s personal relationships. However, that doesn’t mean that a Dominant and submissive shouldn’t support each other in building and maintaining healthy friendships outside of their dynamic.
Make sure to socialise, set time aside for your friends and family, no matter how work or daily life might get in the way. I can understand that it can feel isolating at times to have vanilla friends who aren’t aware or accepting of your kink.
Keep your wellbeing and happiness in mind when maintaining your friendships. It doesn’t matter whether your friends are kinky or vanilla as long as they support you, want the best for you and make you feel happy when you are with them. Vanilla friends are not worth any less than your kinky friends and it is vital to make time for all of your friends in your life.
Similarly, make sure to respect your Dominant’s time with their own friends and family as well. It may help to agree not to over-communicate when with friends or family, or avoid making plans that conflict with pre-existing vanilla plans. Make each other aware if you will be with friends or family and practice feeling secure and happy even without your Dominant’s presence. We all need a support system, for our own personal benefit and also for the purpose of helping you navigate submission and any problems you face.
Dominants may have a presence in their submissive’s personal life in the sense that the Dominant may have expectations for how their submissive treats other people. For example, you may know your Dominant wants you to be kind and thoughtful wherever possible, especially to family and friends, so you make a conscious effort to follow these wishes.
As such, if you make a mistake such as treating someone disrespectfully, you may find relief in seeking consequences from your Dominant. Remember that just because you have atoned with your Dominant to help you deal with guilt, it doesn’t mean that you don’t still need to independently apologise, make amends and repair relationships with friends and family. Submission may help you become better at taking responsibility for your actions but it doesn’t take away your requirement to make good choices.
In the event that – for example – a family argument spirals out of control and the submissive acts inappropriately, the submissive can choose to self-report this behaviour to their Dominant. If the Dominant feels it is suitable, they might enforce a punishment to discourage their submissive from reacting poorly in the future. Similarly, if a submissive has bad patterns of behaviour with family, the submissive may make a goal to contact a family member multiple times a week, or do something loving or kind spontaneously. The submissive can then reward themselves for positive family interactions, or ask the Dominant for praise.
My Dominant hugely respects the time I take for my friends and family and never interferes with my vanilla life unless I ask for his input. He is very willing to give me advice when I ask for it. My Dominant is unafraid to tell me if he thinks I’m in the wrong, but he continuously supports me and helps me to think of solutions to my problems.
This makes me feel less alone in the world and I feel closer to my Dominant because I can trust him with my problems. I also can feel proud of myself when my personal relationships flourish because I know it also makes me a stronger, well-balanced submissive.
Practising your Fetish without your Dominant
Unless you’re “on call” at all times, or have frequent enough sessions, you may want to dedicate some of your vanilla time apart from your Dominant to practising your fetishes.
In some cases, such as with anal or deepthroat training, there is a legitimate need for the submissive to build up to a level that is desired for both the Dominant and submissive. This might mean that the submissive has a routine for trying different toys or plugs in preparation for play sessions with their Dominant. This is positive not only from a safety perspective of the submissive not attempting play that they are not physically prepared for, but also for allowing submissives to become familiar with and find enjoyment in their training tasks.
Additionally, the Dominant and submissive might agree on how the submissive can practise orgasm control and denial without the Dominant’s presence. Perhaps the submissive is allowed a short period per day or week (depending on libido, personal needs and the Dominant’s sadism or mercy) where the submissive can play freely and has blanket permission to orgasm.
Alternatively, Dominants may wish to have a more active presence over a submissive’s personal playtime. Dominants may want to be on a video call or message as the submissive plays, in order to give real-time orders to deny, edge or control a submissive’s orgasm. Dominants may ask their submissive to fantasise about or be stimulated by specific sensations, toys, videos, writings, etc. This has the added benefit of the submissive developing more self control during sexual sessions with their Dominant, because they have practised edging, denial and asking permission regularly throughout their daily life.
Maybe a submissive wants to regularly engage with their fetish in their free time by writing erotica for themselves, their Dominant or the community. Submissives may also wish to produce online content that embraces their fetishes, with their Dominant’s permission. It is advised that submissives communicate with their Dominant to ensure that they are happy with the level at which a submissive engages with kinks outside of their time being physically together.
Last Thing At Night
The hour before my bedtime is my favourite because I often feel especially close, cuddly and affectionate towards my Dominant, regardless of whether he is present or not. This is especially true when I perform calming or submissive activities before bed that make me feel loved and cared for.
A submissive bedtime routine can surprisingly have a massively positive impact on a submissive’s sleep hygiene. This is a concept whereby people may improve the quality of their sleep by building helpful bedtime routines that give you the best chance of a peaceful night. Getting your Dominant onboard with improving your sleep hygiene can be the exact kind of support system you need to make you feel submissive, content – and sleep a little easier in the process.
One of the most infamous rules among submissive or discipline dynamics is the ominous Enforced Bedtime. Scary as it sounds to those of us who like staying up all night watching films, playing video games or (god forbid) working, an enforced bedtime can have a dual purpose in a submissive’s life; a regular bedtime can have a positive impact on your submission and your health simultaneously.
After some practice, your circadian rhythm will encourage you to stick to your bedtime, as your body will begin to feel tired around the same times every night. Which is great for bratty submissives like me who otherwise would find any excuse to stay up past bedtime. Not only am I now sleepy at bedtime, but I also have the added desire to obey my Daddy. My Daddy framed my bedtime as an act of submission, so when I go to bed at the time Daddy chose for me, I am honouring and respecting my Dominant and submitting to his will. However much I brat and complain and test my Dominant on this rule, my Dominant still enforces it strictly … and begrudgingly, I have to admit that it really is for my own good.
Now you might be thinking that life is unpredictable and we aren’t always perfect time keepers – and that’s completely valid. (My time keeping skills are awful, even when I have the best of intentions). My Dominant makes an exception when I stay up to be with friends or family, for important work purposes or emergencies – as long as I follow my bedtime afterwards or make up for lost sleep. If your schedule or body clock really doesn’t allow for you to go to bed at the exact time every night, do what makes you feel comfortable (and eventually tired!) at night and adapt your submission to suit you. Maybe instead when you are unable to sleep or suffering from insomnia, you can still spend time on submissive tasks as you wish.
There are a number of potential rules and rituals to explore for sleepy submissives who are looking to build a submissive bedtime routine.
Consuming coffee, sugar or heavy meals is generally discouraged before you sleep … but it is sometimes difficult advice to follow. Depending on what best suits you, your Dominant may decide on rules to limit certain foods before bed to aid your sleep – but do not feel pressure to introduce such rules if it is unrealistic, sporadically enforced or you are sensitive to having someone else control your diet. However, if it makes you feel submissive – or you enjoy breaking rules for consequences – these food-based rule ideas might be beneficial to you, but approach any diet-related rules with care and trepidation.
(Please note: Approach any rule regarding food with extreme caution. I do not have any rules of this kind in my dynamic, but have included suggestions for the benefit of others who seek that type of guidance or motivation. I don’t recommend restrictive diets as part of submission or as a method of body modification. Please make sure that any rules related to specific foods are physically and emotionally healthy, fully consented to and adjusted or removed if it takes any negative toll on the submissive.)
As the blue light from our screens is shown to keep us awake for longer, it might be agreed that you have a rule about when to turn off your phone or computer. Perhaps at 10pm your phone must go on silent or “night mode” (which may help for submissives like myself who often get caught in late night conversations with friends when I’m meant to be sleeping).
Rules like these can help submissives to divert their attention onto other hobbies and tasks that make them feel submissive and sleepy before bed. This might mean reading, submissive stretches and positions, journaling or meditation, all of which can help you feel peaceful and reflect on your submission. For littles, this is a perfect time (in my experience at least) to colour in bed, to read a soothing story and connect not just with your little side but with your submissive side. My favourite way to prepare for bed is to listen to audiobooks or podcasts that soothe me, as it can easily feel like being read a bedtime story and it distracts my overactive mind from any worries or stress from the daytime.
Your bedtime routine may culminate with a time for “Lights out” after which the submissive must make their best effort to sleep. If you enjoy elements of sensory deprivation, you could even play with the idea of an eye mask as a makeshift blindfold, so that putting your eye mask on feels as though your Dominant has decided when your eyes have permission to be open. Or if you struggle to sleep in the dark (whether you are little or not), your submissive routine might include switching to a night light that makes you feel safe. Perhaps you may want to use a specific nighttime collar or even comfortable bed restraints if you feel safest and most submissive in bondage. Other necessary bedtime comforts might include a stuffie, cosy pyjamas and bedding.
Bookending a day with a good morning and goodnight message to your Dominant can allow you to start and end every day with a submissive focus – even if the actual contents of your day doesn’t allow you to embrace and indulge in your submission. Sending or receiving a goodnight text makes me feel like I’m being tucked into bed by my Daddy, even when he isn’t physically present.
Submitting To Your Dominant On Your Own Terms
I think it is important to state that even if you crave reminders of your submission in every aspect of your life, make sure you are prioritising your mental health, and if necessary, take short breaks where submission is not at the forefront of your mind. It is hugely draining and I would even say unrealistic to aspire to be some kind of “ideal” submissive that lives and breathes submission.
If daily submission has the effect of making you feel inadequate or uncomfortable, try to take a step back and identify the source of these feelings. Don’t use submission as a measurement of worth or value, or put pressure on yourself to be “more submissive” outside of your comfort zone.
On the other hand, don’t be afraid to pursue submission in your vanilla life if it helps you to thrive. It is not “topping from the bottom” to ask your Dominant to help you fulfil your needs, and the best way to do that is by open, honest, sometimes even brave communication. My Dominant knows far too well that if I wake up and I know that my mind would be settled if Daddy gave me lines to write, I ask him. If I have an idea for a new submissive activity, I suggest it to my Dominant. In my Dominant’s eyes, asking for submissive tasks shows my dedication to him and reaffirms his ownership over me because I actively want to serve him – it doesn’t detract from my submission because I was the one to ask for it.
You might want to rotate in new tasks over time to keep your submission feeling fresh. Be aware that what you find submissive now might lose its glamour over time. Use your submission as a tool or a complimenting feature in your daily life to bring you happiness and emotional, mental stability. It’s okay to take breaks, re-evaluate your needs and wait until you crave the return of that task or ritual again in your daily life. We all grow and change, and your submission can change with you.
By Helena Faye
Helena is a kinky freelance writer, polyamorous bisexual, mischievous brat type and a dedicated owned submissive living in the UK. As a part-time Little, Helena applies her passion for teddies and stuffies to vanilla life writing for a teddy bear company. She is a frequent roleplayer and spanking party regular, who loves bringing kinky fantasies to life and getting lost in them. In 2020, she entered a discipline-focused D/s dynamic with her Dominant and indulges in her 24/7 obsession with spanking among other kinks.
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How To Respect And Follow Your Dominant’s Guidance In Their Absence In Kinky Situations
The presence of a Dominant can be hugely comforting in public. Having their guidance and being able to follow their lead in real time can relieve the stress and pressure of making decisions! But sadly our Dominants can’t follow us everywhere (or vice versa!) and often we must operate without their immediate guidance. So let’s talk about how you as a submissive can respect and follow your Dominant’s guidance in kink settings when your Dominant is not physically present!
Train Your Body To Orgasm On Command
Quite a few people still believe that women’s bodies are these gigantic mysteries with some complex code needed to unlock the ever-elusive Orgasm. The misconception that women are unable to be easily aroused is false. Women tend to be more easily stimulated by more cerebral things – better put, women’s minds need to be turned on first before their bodies will follow. So, with this in mind, when it comes to a female submissive wanting to orgasm on command for their Master, you first must stimulate the mind to provide the body with the space it needs to let go and follow when instructed.
