Another term that pops up frequently in BDSM circles is the idea of a ‘switch.’
This is a person that identifies as both a dominant and a submissive, depending on who they are with or what they want to do at a particular time.
So, for example, a person might bottom to one person one night and then ‘top’ to someone else on another night – depending on their mood and desires. Or they might just enjoy switching (hence the term “switch”) back and forth in their roles with their partner depending on each other’s mood. One night they might like to be Dominant and another night they might want to be submissive.
What makes a switch interesting is that they might still identify more strongly with one side of the relationship rather than the other, but in a play setting, they might simply prefer to stay in one role.
It’s actually not that rare to be a switch in the BDSM community; many people are. This is often the case in terms of segregating relationships from each other. Some people feel safer by only topping with some people, rather than others. Being a submissive, for example, can be a very vulnerable state and some might want to reserve that for a more private relationship, rather than the more public settings that some BDSM players like to frequent.
Again, it’s all about your own desires and what you want to experience.
Want to learn how to go about this with my soulmate and how to talk about it and to know how to determine when to stop or not talk about it again or what is the wrong and right ways to begin with her.