Submissive Male Worshipping Dominant Female

What Life is Like as a Collared and Owned Male Submissive

My life as a collared, owned, obedient, live-in, submissive houseboy to a dominant, authoritative Mistress began back in October of 2021 when we met for our first date. We’d connected through a dating app a few days earlier and had hit it off immediately with exciting, witty and tantalising banter. We agreed to meet quite soon after for a get-to-know-you drink because She lived in a different city a 5 hour drive away, and was going to be heading home soon.
BDSM High Heels Icon

First Date

On the night of our date i had agreed to meet Her in the lobby of the hotel where She was staying. As i rounded the corner to the front of the hotel i saw Her leaning casually against the wall of the building about 40 feet from me and watched as She languidly unfurled Her tall, lean frame from the side of the building with a sort of liquid, catlike grace. I was immediately completely smitten, a little intimidated, very excited and nervous before even actually meeting. Moments later we shook hands, said our hellos and began making our way to the bar i’d selected for our date.
BDSM Mask Icon


I knew in that moment with complete certainty that i’d either end up as this amazing person’s submissive or completely heartbroken. The way She maintained eye contact with Her piercing, intelligent blue eyes, the way She moved with sure-footed confidence, the way She shook my hand with a firm but thoughtful grip, everything about Her just screamed “Dominant.” In my mind a mantra began repeating over and over “don’t fuck it up, don’t fuck it up…” The evening went extremely well, with us parting ways at the front door of Her hotel after a long, tipsy wander through the streets with stops for passionate sessions of kissing and yearning. No mention of D/s or kink was made overtly during that date but the dynamic was crystal clear right from the start.
BDSM Flogger Icon

The Relationship Grows

Our relationship grew and progressed rapidly until one night, weeks later, we were chatting via text and the subject of power exchange came up. I told Her my desire to be in a D/s relationship and that i would pledge to only orgasm when ordered to by Her. She agreed and began openly expressing Her long dormant dominant side. After that discussion our Dominant/submissive dynamic continued to grow and solidify until we decided that i would relocate to Her city so we could live together in a true female led relationship (FLR)
BDSM Bondage Cuffs Icon

Life Today

Now, almost two years later as i write this, i’m living my dream life with my dream Mistress.

Every morning i wake up at the time of Mistress’ choosing then gently wake Her with kisses down Her body till i get to beg for permission to worship Her with my mouth for as long and as many orgasms as She desires. Then, when She’s finished with my mouth She taps me on the head, at which point i stop. We call this Morning Service and i do it every morning we’re together. After that i kneel beside our bed and recite my morning pledge and prayer to Her:

Pledge and Prayer

Oh Mistress, You own me body, spirit and soul
I exist to please, delight, worship and serve You
I pledge to always defer to You
To always remain humble, obedient and teachable
To always put Your pleasure above my comfort
And to always treat Your word as law

Thank You for allowing me into Your life
Thank You for accepting my devotion
Thank You for teaching me how to please You with humility

Alpha woman
Creator of life
My reason for being

In Your name i serve
Always and forever

BDSM Gag Icon


Then i go downstairs to prepare our coffee. It really is the best way to start the day and i miss it terribly when i’m away, though i say the prayer every day whether alone or not.

My other duties throughout the day include cleaning our home, cooking all the meals, giving Her massages, making Her tea, doing the laundry, running a bath for Her among many others.

BDSM St Andrews Cross Icon

The Agreement

We drafted an agreement together stipulating how our relationship will be carried out and it’s been an excellent guide throughout. Here are a few of the rules from that agreement:

  1. he will remain humble and teachable;
  2. he will centre on Her at all times;
  3. he will obey Her at all times;
  4. As a sign of their FLR, he will openly acknowledge Her leadership;
  5. he treats any hint, suggestion, or question from Her as a direct order;
  6. As a sign of obedience, he will kneel before Her on command;
  7. he is completely chaste and will not orgasm or touch himself in any sexually pleasurable way without order from Her;
  8. he will always wait patiently and happily for Her attention;
  9. he commits to doing the work needed to consistently please and delight Her in whatever way She likes.
  10. When She rings the bell he must safely stop whatever he’s doing and come to Her then kneel and await instructions.
BDSM Hood Icon

The Exchange of Vows

A few months after drafting the agreement we exchanged self written vows, mine of obedience and deference, hers of protection and acceptance, a year after our first date. As part of the ceremony Mistress gave me a day collar to wear always. It’s the one in my profile picture and i’ve never removed it since she put it on me that night.

My Vows of obedience and deference

Here are a few of the vows i wrote for the Ceremony

i vow to love, cherish, honour, worship, serve and obey Mistress from the depths of my soul and with all my heart, mind, body and spirit

i vow to remain humble, teachable and joyful in my submission

i vow to focus all of my sexual energy on Mistress’ pleasure and to remain completely chaste and entirely devoted to Her

i vow to always defer to Mistress’ decisions, whims and desires in all things at all times

Mistress’ Vows of Protection and Acceptance

And here are some of Mistress’ vows

I vow to know myself well enough to teach you my ways and to always be honest

I vow to share my desires with you as we explore our love together

I vow to cherish and care for you

BDSM Submissive Collar Icon


Then as the culmination of the ceremony Mistress gave me a day collar to wear permanently. It’s the one in my profile picture and i’ve never removed it since She put it on me that night. We then consummated our vows with a memorable night of truly epic play together.
BDSM Stockade Icon

Life Together

Since then we’ve settled into a life of love, affection and blissful Dominance and submission. Mistress is fair but firm and is happy knowing She always has the last word in any situation. We never argue and we’re constantly giddy like a pair of teenagers in love. I’ve never felt this depth and breadth of pure love for another human in my life before. I now truly know what bliss is. All of this combines to make the most rewarding and wonderful relationship i’ve ever had, we laugh constantly and are a great team. She leads, I follow, happily and eagerly. We take care of each other in complementary ways. Me by catering to her every whim and keeping a comfortable, clean, inviting home and she by giving me direction, purpose and the privilege of serving and worshipping her.
BDSM Pin Wheel Icon


For my most recent birthday Mistress gifted me with a chastity device to further cement my place in the relationship. Previous to this i had been chaste as a matter of honour and will. The thought of touching my Mistress’ property without Her permission was so completely alien to me at this point anyway, but now, having and wearing a device is a great help and a beautiful reminder of my place twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.

I’ve been wearing it with breaks for cleaning and travel for the last three months and it’s really added a new depth and undeniability to our dynamic. We have a system for emergencies while also being able to keep me securely locked even while She’s away which leaves no doubt as to who’s in control. It feels so incredible and beautiful to be given the opportunity to more fully express my submission to my Mistress in such a tangible and permanent way.

BDSM Stockade Icon

Love and Joy Through Submission

All of this combines to make the most rewarding and wonderful relationship i’ve ever had, we laugh constantly and are a great team. She leads, i follow, happily and eagerly. We take care of each other in complementary ways. Me by catering to Her every whim and keeping a comfortable, clean, inviting home, She by giving me direction, purpose and the privilege of serving and worshipping Her.

Before meeting my Mistress i’d always been a little ashamed of, and shy about, fully expressing and exploring my true submissive nature. I’d always been taught and socialised to “be a man” or “don’t be a pussy” but now i can finally let go of the last vestiges of that kind of one dimensional expression of masculinity and instead do what i’ve always wanted to do from the depths of my soul, care for another in the deepest and most complete way possible.

My life is full of beauty, love, adoration and joy, and i feel the most myself i’ve ever felt all because of the amazing woman who owns me now.

BDSM Crop Icon

Possible Future

As we continue to deepen our bond and our D/s dynamic we express our love for each other more freely and in more ways. We’ve discussed our future together and our continuing commitment to live our female led BDSM relationship more openly and deeply. Part of this is my plan to one day, hopefully soon, legally change my name to include Mistress’ last name. To make a tangible and public act of devotion and commitment. As a bonus it’s also a great subversion of the standard taking of the last name of the male partner in a marriage. Another idea i’ve had is to get a tattoo based on the tattoo Mistress already has, to symbolise Her ownership of me. Currently i have no tattoos at all and Mistress has a beautiful sleeve tattoo which She receives compliments on all the time. I would love to have a small replica of Her tattoo on my inner wrist to be a visual indication of my status as Her submissive. We also plan to engage with the wider BDSM community in our home city and have plans to go to our first play party together soon

Our future together is full of exciting possibilities and wonderful, tantalising promise. For the first time in my life i feel like i can be the truest version of myself with a person i am in awe of and admire greatly. It’s a deeply satisfying and beautiful feeling, one that i don’t think would have been possible without our Dominant, submissive dynamic. With it we honour our true natures and we mesh so perfectly symbiotically together.

steve author image

By steve

steve has been in a full time, live-in, female led relationship for 2 years, serving as a collared, chaste submissive slave and toy. For the last 30 years he has been educating himself on the lifestyle, how best to serve his Mistress, and is very happy to share the experiences and discoveries made along the way.

Copyright 2008-2023

By reading and accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are responsible for any use of the information in this article, and hold and all members and affiliates harmless in any claim or event.

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

5/5 (1 Review)

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Didn't Get Any BDSM Gear For The Holidays At The BDSM Academy
The BDSM Training Academy Logo

This site is for consenting adults

over 18+ years of age only!


By Clicking  "Yes, I am over 18+ years old" you agree the following statements are true:

* I am over 18+ years of age
* I will not allow any minors to access this site or any material found herein

BDSM Training Academy Join Us

74% OFF



The BDSM Training Program

You Have Got My Mind Racing!

I have been rereading your book over and over, each time I learn something new.


Thanks to you I finally realize how strong of a person I am! 

P.S. just love all the new tricks I have learned

Mistress Sarah

Scroll to Top