The Ultimate BDSM Quest

In BDSM W/we tend to focus mostly on the spanking, flogging, intense passion and chasing after our carnal desires. Don’t get Me wrong, I love doing all those activities and humans are genetically programed to obtain pleasure and try to avoid pain. Sometimes that doesn’t always work; however, many people can find intense pleasure from the pain in a BDSM scene. So while it may appear that rules doesn’t apply, it essentially still does. Yet, under all those burning desires what is it that W/we are really searching for? What is really pushing O/our motives and interactions with people in and out of the bedroom other than just pain and pleasure?

To go into that lets first look at how society views the BDSM lifestyle and most kinky activities. Let’s be honest, most of society looks down on kink and Dom/sub relationships. They believe many people involved in the lifestyle are messed up mentally and they believe the activities depicted in media and film to be sick and only meant the perverted.

This leads many people to feel ashamed about their desires, question who they are as a person and hide what they really want in life. Why do W/we do that? As long as what W/we do is legal, both parties consent and nobody gets hurt, why do W/we hide?

Clearly no one wants to be ostracized by society, W/we don’t want to have O/our family and friends hate U/us. W/we don’t want to hear all the terrible things people think and feel towards U/us. W/we want to avoid the hate people can feel towards others they don’t understand or care to understand.

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What Are W/we Really Searching For In BDSM?
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Since BDSM is just one part of all of O/our lives, could you not say that what W/we are looking for in BDSM is what all people are looking for in life. Whether they are kinky or vanilla.

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Acceptance
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To finally be able to find and meet people who accept you for the person you are; kinks, faults and all. Lots of people say they don’t care if people accept them or not, but life is much easier when you know a group of people who accept and support you for the person you are. As opposed to people thinking you are mentally disturbed for liking certain interests. Acceptance can go a long way to supporting your own views of yourself. That is why it can be so difficult to feel isolated from other people due to an interest you may have.

Many people are afraid to tell their current partner how much they enjoy being spanked or spanking in the bedroom, just because they don’t want to see the person they love’s face distort into absolute disgust. It’s heartbreaking to realize that you are not truly accepted by the one person that you love. Sadly this is a very common scenario for people both in the lifestyle and not in the lifestyle. It is truly terrible that something as simple as spanking, biting, or bondage could create a feeling of shame and isolation for so many people.

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Appreciation
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Everybody wants to feel appreciated for the things they do and for the person you are. Nothing feels worst then working so hard to help people in your life only to find that not only do they not appreciate what you have done, but just assume you should have done it for them in the first place.

As an employee you are paid to do the work you are hired for. However, it always feel better and boosts office moral when the boss shows their appreciation for the hard work their employees put in. I receive countless emails from submissive who receive zero attention from their Dominant other than to punish them. This of course just makes them feel as if they can do nothing right. Like there is no point to even trying because the Dominant does not appreciate the effort. This creates a sad, uninspired, unmotivated broken submissive, exactly the opposite of what you want to create.

The same can be said for a Dominant that is unappreciated. Far too many submissives don’t appreciate the time and effort it takes to train them. It takes almost every waking moment focused on the submissive’s desires to ensure they are being trained properly. It doesn’t matter what is going on in the Dominant’s life, a portion of their thought processes must always be on the submissive. That can be truly mentally and physically exhausting. This is why it is always so important for a submissive to show their appreciation.

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Respect
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Lots of people in this world disagree. I’m sure many people will disagree with some of the articles written on The BDSM Training Academy website. I bet there is even someone who disagrees with the article you are reading now. Despite O/our differences, disagreements and/or opinions, it’s important to respect each other.

Just because a person enjoys being submissive, does not give anybody Dominant or vanilla the right to treat them as subhuman. W/we cannot all be leaders and Alpha personalities. Some people like to lead, others like to follow. A person is not weak or pathetic because they enjoy having someone else take the lead. To assume this is disrespectful and says more about yourself then the person you are disrespecting.

It’s the differences that make the world so great when W/we all come together. It’s these different personality types and opinions that create the strength when united. This is why many Dom/sub relationships are so strong because of the mutual respect the Dom and sub share together and with others.

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The Ultimate BDSM Quest
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Is this not what W/we are all searching for or at least hope to find in O/our lives. People who respect, appreciate and accept U/us for who W/we are, which essentially comes down to Love. W/we all want to find love in O/our lives with friends, family and significant others. W/we want to feel love and W/we all want to give love in return. In fact giving and receiving love is essential to who W/we are as humans.

A big problem in society is that W/we constantly wait to receive love, acceptance, appreciation and respect before W/we ever freely give it out. One of my favorite sayings is “You cannot change other people, you can only change the way you react to those people.”

Basically what I am trying to say is, whether you want to find a partner in the lifestyle or you want people in your life to respect and appreciate you, or you just want more kink in your life. Instead of focusing on how you are going to get that from those people, focus on giving them love, acceptance, appreciation and respect they deserve. That includes all those people that may never accept you in return.

If you focus more on sharing your love and less on how you are going to get all the kink you want, you may just find more people opening up to you. Then as you receive their love in return you can feel safe to express who you are. This is when what you search for in your journey through BDSM will finally present itself to you. An intense intimate loving relationship where you will be able to feel safe to experience all the kinks you have been wanting to enjoy.

Regards,

Master Bishop

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Copyright 2008-2012 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

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