Molly Lazarus

Molly Lazarus is a kink & sexuality writer, BDSM community organizer, and newbie erotic fiction author. Her website, Kink Out Loud, serves as a resource for readers who are new to or curious about BDSM. Offline, Molly acts as Volunteer Coordinator for the Bay Area chapter of Kinky Salon. You can follow her on Facebook and Pinterest, or browse her filthy fiction on Amazon.

BDSM Fear Play with submissive on their knees and gagged

Fear Play in BDSM: How to Scare Your Partner Without Freaking Them Out

A lot of submissives enjoy feeling a degree of fear during BDSM. They get a thrill from the rush of anticipation, intensity, and suspense in the same way others might while skydiving or watching horror movies. A sexual experience that feels dangerous, but not so dangerous that we’ll walk away harmed or traumatized, can be an exciting adventure when shared in a controlled environment with a dom we admire. Going through an emotion-charged journey like that together can also strengthen the bonds of affection and trust.

Informed Consent Before You Play With BDSM

What’s Informed Consent and Why Is It Important In BDSM?

The word ‘consent’ comes up constantly in conversations about kink. People often tout it as the core element that separates BDSM from abuse. While this is true, the word by itself doesn’t go far enough to help practitioners, especially those just starting out, protect themselves and one another from potential problems.

The term ‘informed consent’ was first used in the medical field and is considered fundamental to ethics and laws regarding patient rights. It describes the process that requires doctors to provide information about possible side effects and other risks before they elicit permission to provide a particular treatment.

Submissive helping their Dominant To Become More Comfortable With BDSM

8 Ways to Help Your Dom Feel Comfortable Exploring BDSM More Deeply

We often like to think of doms as the sexy, invincible superheroes of our fantasies. To be led through our BDSM journey by someone calm, confident, and in charge puts us at ease, allowing us to open up and explore in spite of our nervousness or vulnerability. The reality, of course, is that dom-identifying kinksters are human like the rest of us and need help along the way from time to time. If you’re a submissive looking to take your dynamic to a deeper level, here are 8 ways you can help your dom feel comfortable as they lead the way.

Setting Up Dom Sub Relationship For Success

10 Tips to Set Up a New D/s Relationship for Success

The beginning of a relationship is a fragile time. One or both partners may still be on the fence as they learn each other’s quirks, preferences, triggers, world views, and all the rest. The first few intimate encounters usually involve some level of stress, regardless of how smoothly or erotically those sessions unfold. We want …

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No Impact Masochist Play BDSM

No Hitting! 10 Painful, Impact-free Ways to Please a Masochist

Spanking, paddling, whipping, caning, mmm YUMMY. Words like these are music to a masochist’s ears. Well, some masochists, anyway. Believe it or not, there are those who don’t like to be hit. They may have experienced prior trauma related to hitting. Others simply don’t enjoy the sensation. In cases like these, doms must get creative. …

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BDSM Skills For Tough Times

Make the Most of Your BDSM Skills During Lockdown

Welp, there’s no nice way of saying it. These are challenging times! Our individual and collective futures are loaded with uncertainty, and feeling isolated from those we love doesn’t help. Luckily for us kinky types, we already hold a number of valuable skills that can help us thrive through these tense periods of lockdown. Here’s …

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Compartmentalize Your BDSM Self

Learn To Compartmentalize Your BDSM Self

Much of what we do in BDSM involves roleplay, and not just the ‘strict teacher / naughty student’ dress-up variety. Simply acting as the top or bottom in a scene is a role in itself, complete with its own responsibilities, energy, and intentions. The more we’re able to immerse ourselves in the headspace of our role during play, the more powerful the experience becomes.

The intense experiences we have during play have the potential to transform our everyday lives, for better or worse. For BDSM to be a healthy practice, it’s crucial that we refine our ability to cleanly separate fantasy from reality. Learning to compartmentalize BDSM will allow you to reap the benefits of kinky sexploration while continuing to function harmoniously outside the bedroom.

If we don’t learn to compartmentalize, BDSM can end up negatively impacting our psychological state, our relationships, and even our career.

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You Have Got My Mind Racing!

I have been rereading your book over and over, each time I learn something new.

D

Thanks to you I finally realize how strong of a person I am! 

P.S. just love all the new tricks I have learned

Mistress Sarah

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