When you’re actively looking to train a slave as a part of your
life, you need to be wary of ‘experts’ that speak of punishment as
the ultimate way to control a slave and to have them do what you
ask of them. Punishment has many other uses in your slave training
life that you will want to consider.
The problem with punishment and slave training is that it has been
glamorized too often in the media and in porn sites. It seems like
all you need to do is whip someone a little bit and they become
complacent and obedient. Of course, this would be a nice thing for
a Dominant and it would certainly make their lives easier, but this
is not always the case.
In fact, in many situations, the use of punishment backfires in
terms of how it is supposed to help a slave training situation.
While it is meant to create obedience, it often inspires
disobedience and the idea of ‘topping from the bottom.’ Though this
is more often the case with beginning Dominants and experienced
Subs; that does not mean that punishment doesn’t need to be
something to think about when beginning a new BDSM relationship.
The fact of the matter is that many Subs like punishment. A lot.
They want to be whipped, flogged, and degraded because it turns
them on and makes them feel pleasure. While there’s nothing
inherently wrong with this reaction, the idea of a slave and Master
relationship is one in which the Master determines how the slave is
feeling at any given time. When the slave does something wrong,
they should be upset that they have failed their Master, not happy
to be receiving punishment.
Some subs will go so far as to disobey on purpose in order to
receive punishments. This is not going to help the slave training
process and can become frustrating for a Dominant that is new to
their position or who simply doesn’t have the experience to come up
with other ways of controlling their slave.
What you might want to do as a Dominant is to make sure you are
talking to your slave before going into a more formal relationship.
Talk to them about what turns them on and what makes them feel more
subservient. Most Subs are quite clear about these reactions in
themselves. Subs know when they are masochistic and when verbal
degradation can reduce them to being subservient. Talking ahead of
time is the best way to start figuring out what is going to work
for your relationship.
But the real ‘cure’ for punishments that go awry is to stop
whatever is not working immediately. Trying something over and over
and expecting different results is the definition of insanity – and
not a good way to have a successful slave training situation.
What you need to realize is the not all punishments you give as a
Master are going to be construed as punishments. Many slaves will
often enjoy the attention that punishment is giving them and will
willfully disobey in order to receive that attention again and again.
To stop this from happening, you need to find out what is going to
work as a punishment for the slave – humiliation, degradation,
verbal humiliation, etc. Each slave is different, but there will be
one thing that the slave in question will not want to do, so it
will be seen as an actual punishment to them – and something that
they will try to avoid in the future with the appropriate behavior
you have provided for them.
I hope you enjoyed the Questions of Punishment article. Keep your
eyes peeled for the next edition which will arrive in a week!
To learn more about the BDSM Slave Training Guide and take your kinky
life to new heights visit:
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2 thoughts on “Don’t Make This Punishment Mistake”
As one without much practical experience, this article brings to light bad habits in which this one has engaged, over time, in and out of the dynamic. The importance of communication cannot be overstated. This is how W/we learn and grow together.
But what if its not clear what falls under punishment? And how does one initiate that conversation to set boundaries and structure … and what does one do without a strong Master to guide correction?
Good to share a warning, the caveat against mindless punishment all the way to “funishment” having the opposite to desired effect.
Thank You for all the insight shared here!