A Mistress’ work is never done, it seems. With all of the bad things your slave is doing, you might feel as though your job is becoming harder than their job. At the same time, you might feel as though you need to be harder on your slave than ever before, but the look in their eyes doesn’t seem to be as bright as it used to be. While you’ve thought about it before, maybe you’re being too hard on your slave – and that’s what’s making them perform badly for you. Perhaps you need to adjust your Mistress-ness for a moment in order to see the results you want from your slave or slaves.
Signs You Might Be Playing Too Hard
One of the most obvious signs your Mistress work might be a little too rough is that your slave doesn’t seem to be looking forward to your sessions together. Even though they might arrive on time, there’s something about the way they’re slowly getting ready that makes you think they’re not quite ‘there’ to play with you. Another sign of possible slave wear and tear is a recent pattern of lateness. If they suddenly are showing up late to your sessions without any explanation, chances are high they are trying to stay away as long as possible. And if you’re suddenly seeing marks on your slave where there used to be no marks, you might be pushing them a little too far.
Looking at Your Contract
While the easiest way to find out about your flaws is from your slave, this can also be damaging to your power relationship. At the same time, sitting down with your slave and looking over the contract will help you both make sure you’re still on the same page in what you want from the relationship. If the contract is being followed, it seems you might need an outside source to help you determine what might be a little too rough for your slave to handle.
Calling in Reinforcements
If you have a friend who is a Mistress or a Master and your slave trusts you to bring them into your session, they might provide an extra set of eyes to help you see where you might be doing harm. Have this person simply observe the next session with your slave in order to sit down with you afterward to talk about what you might be doing incorrectly. Do not have this person talk to you during the session as their input is for you and for you alone. Your slave does not need to know that you have called in someone to help with your techniques.
Changing Your Ways Without Loosening Control
Once you have some feedback on the training you are doing, you can begin to make changes. One of the best ways to begin to loosen the too-tight grip of control is to change the kind of power you use in the sessions. If you’re primarily a Mistress who enjoys physical pain sessions, you might want to switch things up into a more humiliating style of power exchange. This will keep your slave on their toes while also still creating a power structure. Or you can exchange a more physical session if your slave is accustomed to verbal play. You might also want to implement less time with your slave for a while to show that you are serious about stepping back from your relationship if it’s not working out for the slave. This will also give you time to rest as something playing too rough is just a sign you might need a break too.
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