You are in control at all times, and you know that your slave is listening to you. But when you are new to being a Mistress or when you have certain slaves, there may be times when you feel as though you need to be angry and aggressive. You may feel as though you need to scream and curse in order to get what you want. This is far from the case. Instead, you may want to think about the way in which you can be cool and controlling – without even saying a word.
Use Your Voice
Your voice is one of your best assets in the dungeon. With the words you choose and the tone you use, you can create an air of civility, even as you spank your slave for the hundredth time. Think about being graceful and calm, lowering your voice as you talk to your slave. Not only does this cause them to be more subdued, but it also causes them to have to stop their own ranting in order to hear what you have to say. Studies have been shown that when you lower your voice, others around you will too, and it’s a nifty trick to bring into the dungeon.
Of course, you also can choose to not say anything at all when you’re in a dungeon. Instead, you could choose to say nothing. This will have your slave on edge, as they do not know what’s happening or what you’re thinking. You might choose to simply point to the things you want them to do and then wait for them to respond. This will also cause the slave to work harder to please you, as they may not interpret your commands correctly at first. However, with time, they will understand what you mean. And you can be in control without saying a thing.
Since humans are prone to mirroring what other humans do, try moving slowly and precisely when you’re in the dungeon. This might mean taking fewer steps and trying to be more deliberate in each thing you do. Whether this is choosing a sex toy or a crop, or you’re moving from one place to another, you should move with intention. Only move when you need to move and only move when you are trying to accomplish something. Again, when the slave sees you do so, they will also try to simulate the way you move, which creates a thicker sensation of control and intensity in the dungeon.
At all times, you need to be calm in the dungeon. If the slave is doing something that is causing you to feel as though you might be getting too excited or upset, you may want to walk away for a while to calm down. You never ever want to play when you are upset. If you continue to notice that you are anxious or stressed in training scenes, you may want to seek out ways to reduce your overall stress levels. Or perhaps it is time to take a break because training your submissive should not make you feel anxious or stressed. Take some time to figure out what is causing these feelings and address them before stepping back into the dungeon.
The Mistress who is reserved and calm is not only able to control their slave effectively, but they can do so without breaking a sweat. This allows everyone in the scene to be most effective and the training to be more effective overall. There is no need to raise your voice or to become upset. You just need to slow down and remember that your slave looks at what you do for guidance. If you want a calm, gracefully and elegant submissive, then a good way to teach a submissive is to lead by example.
While this may not be the only way to Dominant your submissive, it is a good way to keep in the back of your head. Sometimes less in Dominating your submissive is more.
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