Avoiding Legal Issues While Practicing BDSM

From the outside of BDSM, this sexual fetish or practice (depending on how you look at it) can look dangerous. In fact, to some who don’t know what BDSM really is, they think that this is completely illegal. But this is far from the case. A BDSM relationship is a relationship that is purely consensual in its practice and in its guidelines. But since many people are still unaware of how BDSM works, it can help to keep in mind the legal issues of what you do in the privacy of your home. When your BDSM comes out into the open, what do you need to know in order to stay out of jail?

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Is BDSM Legal?
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The practice of BDSM, when done in the privacy of your home, is legal so long as both of the adults are above the age of 18 (or the legal age where you live) and they are consenting adults (This might not be the case where you live, please check your local laws). This is something you need to keep in mind. Consent is given when both adults talk ahead of time about what they can expect from the session or the relationship and then they follow these guidelines.

Never exceed the limits of what you have agreed upon when you are with someone for the first time or that you do not know very well. In fact its better to do even less then what the both of you agreed upon.

Its when a Dominant decides to push someone they don’t know or barely know past their boundaries and what they both agreed upon that really lead to problems. When someone has been pushed beyond what they are comfortable with they can become very emotional and understandably so. How the Dominant saw the scene and how the submissive felt from the scene are two different things.

While the Dominant might have felt blindfolding the sub was only pushing them a little bit and really only adds to heighten their other senses. The sub could have felt disconnected from the world and frightened that this horrible experience was never going to end. With panic setting in on the sub, they might be too scared to call out their safe word and end the scene. The Dominant will continue playing thinking the sub is enjoying everything.

This is when the authorities can be called in. While the sub agreed to play with the Dominant, the Dominant did not play within what is agreed upon. For a submissive’s safety and a Dominant’s safety always play within the agreed upon guidelines. If you play beyond each other’s comfort zones, you can never take it back once that boundary has been crossed. If you play below each others limits not only will you both remain safe, but you always leave room to add more in the next time you play. A good way to think is always leave your play partner wanting more.

When you have been in a long term relationship with your partner and understand how they react to certain stimulus then you can begin to push their boundaries once they have agreed to let you do so. Remember BDSM play is all about Safe, Sane And Consensual.

Bringing your BDSM play out into public can also be a little dicey. For example, if you have a slave walking around naked in public, they can certainly get into trouble for that – whether they consented or not. In addition, any BDSM hitting or whipping in public may also cause trouble with the police. Nobody just walking by is going to know that you have both agreed to this type of play. All they see is one person hitting another person and most concerned citizens will call police to intervene.

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Putting Your BDSM in Writing
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You need to have a clear note of consent somewhere so that if the other person doesn’t like their experience that they don’t come back at you with legal recourse. That’s a rare situation, but if you’re playing with people you don’t know, it never hurts to be careful. You can never predict how someone else is going to react after an intense play session.

Having a contract in a long term BDSM relationship is a great idea. Not only will you both have a clear reference for what you will do and what you will not do, but you can show this to anyone who is concerned about your sex life. Sometimes bruises do show or that collar does draw attention. In those cases when a person might be tempted to call in the police, you can show that you both agreed to do the things that you do in the bedroom.

**Please note: A letter of consent is not a legal document, therefore is not a get out of jail free card. Just because a person has agreed to play with you, does not mean they agreed to everything you may have done. Or they may find the experience far more traumatic then they would have thought. This is why you should always be overly cautious when casually playing with someone or when playing with someone new (This means someone new to the lifestyle and someone you have never played with before). If you do plan to play casually or play with someone new, always stay on the gentle and light side of play.**

While in a monogamous long term relationship, there is less chance for miscommunication and misinterpretation of your actions. Also you can take your time building the trust with your partner and figuring out their views on the types of activities the both of you will be engaging in. This is the best way for you and your partner to remain on the safer side of the law.

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Handling People Who Don’t Understand
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That said, there will be some people who will never understand what people get out of BDSM. For the most part, those people will not ask you anything about your sex life, so they’re not going to cause any trouble. They might hint at things that you do, but since they’re going to be too embarrassed to say anything, they can’t cause much trouble. However, when you do encounter people who want to get you or your partner in trouble, it might be helpful to sit down with them and with your partner to talk about what you do. This might be an uncomfortable conversation and the other person may still not understand, but at least everything is on the same page. And if the cops are still called on you, then you can re-explain the situation to them. Police have seen everything and will probably leave you alone only they understand that it is consensual.

BDSM isn’t as scary as many people make it out to be. And even if it is, if someone doesn’t want to engage in it, it’s their prerogative.

***Please note: This article is not legal advice and is not meant to replace professional legal advice. It is important (and your responsibility) that you the reader understand the laws and regulations where you reside and abide by them.

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To learn more about how to keep a safe, sane and consensual lifestyle while adding more life to your BDSM play visit ===> The BDSM Training Tutorial
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Regards,

Mistress Sophia

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