Creating ‘Good’ Pain

Pain is a beautiful thing in BDSM, especially when it’s done right. No matter what your personal preference is for giving or receiving pain, you need to make sure that you’re giving your slave pain in a way that will not only cause them to feel hurt, but that will also cause them to feel ecstasy. And this takes practice, especially when the slave and the Dom/me are not accustomed to each other. You will want to take a multi-step approach to creating pain for a slave so that everyone is happy and healthy in the process.

The Contract for Pain

Before you administer any pain and before you even step into the dungeon, you need to start off with a discussion of what sort of pain is possible, what is a limit, and what is simply not as option. You may want to ask your slave if they have a high tolerance for pain and what they know will hurt them too much. This is also a good opportunity for the slave to talk about what scares them about pain and whether they truly trust you as the Dom/me. Make sure all of these details are discussed before a scene and before the flogger or the whip even comes into the bedroom.

The Warm Up

The body needs to be warmed up in order to have a good physical response. Just as when you exercise, you need to get the blood flowing in your slave if you want them to have the maximum sensations. You can do this in a number of ways. First, you might want to try spanking or flogging or whatever you plan to do to your slave, in a lighter fashion. At this point, you’re not trying to hurt them, but you are trying to get the nerves more sensitive and you’re trying to get the blood flowing to the top of the skin. This is called leathering up the skin. This should go on for a while, as this will also help to sink the slave into a different mindset, where they will not be worried as much about pain.

The Intense Sensations

Once the body seems to be warmed up and the slave seems to be ready to accept the pain that you are going to give them, then it’s time to turn up the intensity. Focus on one area of the body, then move to another, etc. You want to make sure that the slave’s body isn’t getting too much in just one small area, as this can cause the body’s pain response to numb the area and keep the sensations from being pleasurable. Also, watch to see what the slave is doing. When the slave is moving toward your hitting implement, then you know they are enjoying the sensations. If they are moving away, then you know that you might want to move to a new spot on their body, where they are not as sensitive. Yet.

The key with inflicting pain is that you need to figure out where you can and where you cannot hit a person, then start off slowly, and then make things more intense. As you work with your slave for longer periods of time, this process becomes instantaneous, but at first, it never hurts to take things slow. After all, if you harm your slave, then you may not get a chance to try again. When the trust between yourself and your slave is diminished, then you’re going to have troubles doing anything that helps your slave feel as though they are being pleasured or made to feel something good. Discover more ways to enhance and intensify your BDSM scenes.


Master Bishop

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