Dom/me Question: Brand Spanking New To Being A Dominatrix

I am brand SPANKING (pun intended) new to this dominatrix thing. I fell absolutely in love with it as soon as I saw the welts left on my slave’s ass from our first spanking session! Can you give me an example of how a few sessions might go with you and your slave? How you start, what you do, how you talk, how you finish a session?

My name is Mistress Leighton 

Michigan


 

Mistress Sophia’s Opinion
I am most pleased when someone asks me a direct question, and in your case, many questions that will help him or her become fully immersed in their Dominant self. Delightful!

Before I begin to walk you through a session, you need to remember that every training session is different, depending on my training goals for that slave. Some want to be punished; some do not. Others want to role-play; others do not.

Everything depends on the goals we have in place.

How Sessions Start

Before I begin any session, I will make sure the slave and I have an agreement in place about what I can do and what I can not do. This is going to be the guideline for the entire session, even if we had an agreement before that included different limits. I find it much more effective to check in with a slave each session to ensure we understand the expectations.

Once we have that in place, I will make sure the slave is in a position where they can do the things I will ask them to do. If I’m testing them on positions, for example, they might need to stand in a certain place or lay down in a certain place.

Most of the time, I like to have the slave in the area where they will be doing most of the tasks I ask of them. If I make a slave move around too much, they will get tired and sloppy. I want them to be fully engaged and energized by the training.

What I Do

There are a number of things I will do in order to help a slave reach their full potential. I personally don’t believe in just spanking someone for no reason. To me, it’s boring and it feels like anyone could do it to the person. Instead, I like to get the slave’s brain engaged by having them perform certain tasks.

  • Positions and memorization – I often will have a slave memorize positions to stand in or poems or something that is challenging to remember when you’re being spanked or tied up. It’s better to have simple things for the slave to do as they have a greater chance of succeeding, or if you want to have harder things for them to do, you will need to give them time to prepare ahead of time.
  • Chores – Some slaves are perfectly content to clean my house, and I enjoy the feeling of a clean house. I may give the slave instructions on what to clean and how to clean it. Then I will watch them and try to find any flaws in their actions. I will correct them and make sure they are not rewarded until everything is exactly the way I want it done.
  • Pain tolerance – Other slaves just want to experience pain. For me, this means they want to reach that ‘high’ that comes when your body produces endorphins to minimize the feeling of pain. I will often have a slave stand in a certain position and ask them to not move. Or I will tie them down to make sure they don’t move. In these sessions, their goal is to move past the number of spanks or whips they have experienced before. They are to always tell me when I’ve reaching their breaking point, as I don’t want to permanently hurt them.

Again, these plans change and shift depending on what the slave wants from the training and what I want from the slave. It’s all about negotiation and agreements.

How I Talk

Once again, the way I talk with slaves will vary depending on their needs and training. This is something you will figure out by talking with your submissive and just asking them how they like to be treated and how they like to be spoken too.  Or what phrases and tones do they find really resonate with them.

Some like me to speak in a stern, stereotypical Mistress voice. Others want me to be completely silent. Others want me to humiliate them and call them names. Still others like me to use a low voice, one that is menacing and slightly hard to hear since they have to stay focused to know what I want. Learn more ways about How To Talk Like A Dominatrix

How Things Finish

Depending on the scene, I might simply let the slave stay where they are and rest in the position they’re in. Most often, I let the slave do what they want to do at the end. This might include lying down and catching their breath. They might ask to be released from bondage and lie in my arms. A nice cuddle for the both of U/us to catch O/our breath. A beautiful moment of aftercare with some food and water to replenish two exhausted bodies. Some slaves don’t want me to be anywhere near them in the end. Again you can find out what you should do by talking with your submissive and coming to an agreement before a session.

What I like to do is to care for any wounds I might have inflicted, while telling the slave they did a good job. I might offer some feedback if I feel they can improve, and I might talk with them about what we could do differently the next time. I also give the submissive an opportunity to give Me feedback.  What did they enjoy and what did they not enjoyed, all good things to know to improve a session for the next time. Plus, all of this helps to bring us together and all the slave feel safe.

I would encourage you to find out what works best for your slave. Think about what the ideal scene might be, talk to your sub about it and then try it out. It might not work the way you think it will – or it might. You don’t know until you both try.

Since you are new to being a Dominant, I encourage you to go slowly. You want to take your time in learning about your slave and what their body and mind can handle. You also need to figure out what your style is and what you can handle.

It’s a beautiful journey to be a Dominant, and one with great responsibility. Know your slave’s limits and know your limits, and know when to stop – and when to take control.

I hope that gives you some examples that you were looking for.  What do you think? Is there anything you specifically like to do when starting, what you do, how you talk and how you finish?

Sincerely,

Mistress Sophia
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