Is It Coincidence?

Creating Boundaries From Scratch

My upbringing didn’t prepare me for the concept of boundaries. Instead, I learned that privacy was seen as a negative and equated to secrecy. I also learned that self-sacrifice was one of the cornerstones of love and that to say no to someone you loved made you a mean, evil person. Needless to say, I left home primed and ready for victimhood, codependent relationships, and heartbreak. I found myself in situation after situation where I was constantly made a doormat. It didn’t matter how nice I was or how often I changed myself, the expectation was for me to take all of my partners’ negativity and smile while doing so. It had gotten to the point where mistreatment was so normalized, I could never see the warning signs and found myself in one soul-sucking relationship after another.

Kink Healing: Part 2

A continuation of kink healing part 1 to delve deeper into understanding the potential healing power of kink. When I first found BDSM I had many misconceptions about the potential of the lifestyle. I was under the impression BDSM was just a fun bedroom activity to escape the real world and that it could be a place to connect with other “freaks” like myself. While there is a level of truth to that, the more I leaned into the lifestyle, the more I discovered it’s true potential. Because the BDSM world is so steeped in vulnerability, connection, and communication, it serves as the perfect arena for growth and personal development. When I came to this conclusion, it delved deeper into experimenting with different elements of BDSM and whether or not it could transform my life.

Navigating BDSM After Abuse

It took me over a decade to stop blaming myself for choosing the man who would become my abuser. I had a million reasons in my mind for why my trauma was either my fault or illegitimate. Please learn from my experiences so you can better navigate BDSM after suffering abuse.