When it comes to BDSM and our personal kinky journey we all start in the same place. The one with less experience than everyone else, the person who wants and craves everything but does not know anyone yet to fulfill those desires.
I noticed I loved rope early on when I first witnessed someone being tied up in person. Its ok to look at images on a screen and imagine that person is you, but it doesn’t make it real, it’s still just a fantasy in your mind. You must step out at some point and make connections to try and explore that desire a little bit more.
Now you must understand, I am a plus size woman, and I wouldn’t change a thing about that, but I believed due to my size I would not be able to be tied. The images we see on our screens today are of the beautiful average sized woman. I had never seen a plus sized woman in bondage before, so I had no idea if it was even possible. I was also concerned my weight would be a factor in how I could be tied not to mention the stress it would put on my body. Sadly, I felt this was one desire that would never be fulfilled.
So, I was amazed when I first met a couple who had obviously been tying for years, and they kindly offered to explore this with me, allowing me to experience my first rope ever bondage session.
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I Was So Excited
Finally an opportunity to be on the receiving end of such beauty and suffering. I love to do my own research on what exactly I’m getting myself into, I had so many things I wanted to do:
- floor ties
- breast and arm ties
- hogties
- suspension
- the list could go on forever, but you get the idea. I wanted to experience it all. I wanted to see if those were achievable.
Up until this point I had always considered rope off limits because of my size and lack of experience, but now I was being handed an opportunity to experience rope, and I was thrilled.
I had read previous articles on what to look out for and how to watch out for warning signs, these mostly consisted of knowing your nerves, looking out for numbness, sharp shooting pains and tingling, and stressing on how important communication is throughout a scene. Although my experience was mostly great, I want to share with you the dangers of doing rope, and the signs I missed and didn’t feel confident enough to speak out about. I’m still in love with rope and always will be, but I learnt a lot from my first experience.
The date was set in my kinky calendar and it approached quicker than I could have imagined. The rope session included photographs which I was extremely happy about, I love capturing my new experiences. We started with some classic floor ties, this included some breast bondage and a rope harness.
I was in love from the moment the rope touched my skin, I can still remember the Goosebumps it gave me, and the peacefulness that overwhelmed my mind and body.
With everything going so well, we switched to a partial suspension tie, using the rope harness. I was caught up in the moment of it I was not paying attention to the warning signs my body was sending me. The main one being pins and needles and numbness, which suggests a nerve is be compressed somewhere.
There was a moment where, we switched from the partial suspended tie to a full suspension. My first ever, something that was on my list to try but had no experience with. I enjoy the art of suffering, I like to push my boundaries and limits in terms of what my body is capable of. So of course, I embraced it, my head swarming with the amazing feeling rope was giving me, and I completely lost all clarity. This suspension lasted a matter of minutes and it was extremely tough. To give you a rough picture here, my arms bound behind my back using a box tie, my hair bound and pulled back with a hair tie, both legs tied and pulled upwards into a sufferable back bend.
I Was In Love From The Moment The Rope Touched My Skin
I can still remember the Goosebumps it gave me, and the peacefulness that overwhelmed my mind and body.
With everything going so well we switched to partial suspension ties, using the rope harness. I was caught up in the moment of it I was not paying attention to the warning signs my body was sending me. The main one being pins and needles and numbness, which suggests a nerve is be compressed somewhere.
There was a moment where, we switched from the partial suspended tie to a full suspension. My first ever, something that was on my list to try but had no experience with. I enjoy the art of suffering, I like to push my boundaries and limits in terms of what my body is capable of. So of course, I embraced it, my head swarming with the amazing feeling rope was giving me, and I completely lost all clarity. This suspension lasted a matter of minutes and it was extremely tough. To give you a rough picture here, my arms bound behind my back using a box tie, my hair bound and pulled back with a hair tie, both legs tied and pulled upwards into a sufferable back bend.
I Was Not Prepared For What Happened Next
This Is What I Learned From My First Rope Bondage Experience:
- Too Much Too Soon - I was naive in thinking I knew what my body could handle, switching from floor ties to a suspension so quickly, when perhaps on reflection I should have allowed my body to succumb to the sensations and stresses of just floor ties.
- Wanting Everything All At Once - I rushed the experience, and this could have had serious implications for my everyday life. Luckily, I regained full mobility in my right arm after a week or so, but this could have been very different
- More Research - If I was going to have that experience over, I would do more research. I would talk to more plus size women who had been tied and learned from their experiences and spoken with those who have had experience tying plus size women.
- Had A Trusted Friend - I would take someone with me I trusted, because when you surround yourself with people who you trust, as it is easier to find your voice with a friend supporting you. Communicating when something is wrong will become less difficult.
- Both Parties Can Learn - I would have told the couple what had happened, so they also could learn from their mistakes.
- Alway Remain Vigilant - I understand that BDSM is a continual learning process, we are forever pushing the boundaries on new fetishes and experiences, but we must stay safe. Make yourself the priority always, as selfish as that may seem. Building that trust and being able to hand that over to someone worthy is a big step and one that should be taken with care, until that point you are responsible and so must remain vigilant about your own safety.
- Don't Be Afraid To Talk & Ask Questions - I’ve found since this experience that riggers are always open about talking through your worries and concerns. We call it the BDSM community for a reason, reach out because there’s a wealth of knowledge at your fingertips.
Hopefully after hearing my story you are able to learn as much from my first bondage scene as I did, of course without having to experience any of the same mistakes.
Sincerely,
BlackNymph
I want to thank BlackNymph for her openness and willingness to share such an intimate and personal experience for all of U/us to be able to learn from. As I have always said “W/we all grow when W/we share what W/we know.” Please help me thank BlackNymph for such bravery and courage.
A few things you might want to also consider when experiencing something new within BDSM:
- Negotiate what the scene will entail and make the conscious decision before hand that you will not deviate from that decision. It is very easy to get caught up in the moment or lose yourself into subspace and want more. However it is always best to stick to the decision you made when your mind was not so overwhelmed.
- Write down what you want to try and things that are off limit. Once written down mentally it can be much harder to break. Just like etching something in stone, having what you only want to try for the scene will make it harder for you to mentally break it later on. It is also a great reminder of how far the Dominant should go as well. No room for error here.
- Good rule of thumb – Always leave a scene wanting more. Remember you have a lifetime to experience everything BDSM offers. I know how hot and exciting it can be to want to experience all of your forbidden desires, but too much too soon will usually end in a nightmare instead of the fantasy you have dreamed about.
- Select one to two things to include in a scene. The more things you do, the more likely you are to become overwhelmed. So whether you only do one or two different rope ties or one rope tie with some light spanking. Fewer activities during a scene is more likely to keep a new experience within your comfort level. Adding new activities can always be negotiated into future scenes, which there will be lots of time for.
BDSM will be with you for the rest of your life, so don’t try to fit it all into one night. Give yourself the time you need to grow into your desires as you grow in life.
To Y/your continued Journey,
Master Bishop
Have you had a bad experience in some form of BDSM? What was it that you learned from that experience? Or is there anything you would suggest for other plus size people when it comes to BDSM? Please share your comments below, W/we always love hearing from you.
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