Your slave wants pleasure – we all do. As a Master or Mistress, you have an ideal opportunity to show your slave that orgasms are something that only you can allow. Not only does this encourage discipline in your slave, but it also allows you as the Dominant to fully have control over the sexual experience of your slave. You will show your slave that they need your permission to feel pleasure. Orgasm denial is a form of submissive training that can fully immerse them in the knowledge that their body is under your control.
Rule: No Masturbation Without Permission
One of the easiest ways to practice orgasm denial is to make a rule that your slave is not able to masturbate while they are not with you and/or without your permission. You might make them write out a promise to you, an agreement, that they will not touch themselves a set time, during certain periods or however you both decide. You can be explicit in this agreement: no touching of the genitals, no touching of the breasts, no vibrators, no cock rings, no nothing. It can help to sit down with your slave and ask them how they masturbate. You can have them describe the process to you or even have them show you while you’re in the dungeon together.
And then they need to promise they will NOT do this until you say they can again. To further enhance this training, have them write down or let you know when they wanted to masturbate and they didn’t. This will show them just how many times they have denied themselves pleasure because you were in control of their experience.
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Orgasm Denial Techniques:
Edging with your Slave
You can take things a step further in their training with edging. This involves having your slave get to the point where they are right on the edge of having an orgasm, but stopping whatever they are doing so they can’t orgasm. You want them to get right to the point where they can’t control what happens next – and then stop immediately. In some cases, this might take a few attempts to make sure they can control themselves.
They might not be able to hold back at first. So, you’ll need to point this out, point out their inability to follow your instructions and why it is crucial that they do. Then try again.
Once they are able to stop when you tell them to stop, then the real fun can begin. You might bring your slave to the edge of orgasm again and again during a scene, until they are begging you to cum. But you won’t let them cum. In fact, it’s always fun to not allow this to happen for a few scenes and allow them to feel the true control that your relationship has over their sexual experience.
Some edging scenes are made even more intense by tying up the slave and putting them in a blindfold and gag. This way, they have no way to stop what you are doing, and they are even more sensitive about what they are feeling. They will simply need to learn how to ride the waves.
You can also have a long-distance slave do an edging over the phone or via video chat. Have them touch themselves as you watch, but right when they get to the point that they are going orgasm, tell them to stop.
And you can also have your slave do the same thing, videotaping themselves, sending you the file, and then letting them know that you are pleased every time they don’t have an orgasm.
One style of training is to instruct the submissive to edge themselves a certain number of times a day. They are not allowed to orgasm but they must be pushing their body to the edge multiple times a day.
Always start with a small number and as the submissive looks like they are getting better at handling it slowly increase the number of edging attempts. Give the submissive the choice of either spreading these attempts throughout the day or performing them all at once.
Continuous edging will help to make the next section even more powerful and effective for training.
Making Orgasms a Reward for Good Behavior
At some point, there needs to be a moment where you allow them to have the orgasm again. After all, if you continue to deny them pleasure, what is the point? What is the reward? In the training schedule you set up, you will want to have some scenes in which you are clear that they will not have an orgasm. But when they show that they can control themselves, then allow them to have an orgasm.
This will feel so good to your slave that they will be inspired to continue to maintain control when they are ordered to do so. It’s a delicate balance between denial and release, so you will need to determine what will work best for your slave. If they are performing their slave duties effectively and they are meeting your expectations, you might have some scenes with orgasm denial, but then you can also include more scenes in which you allow them pleasure. Or you can setup a reward system, where the submissive will have to accumulate points through submissive acts and duties. Once they have earned enough points they can redeem them for an opportunity to orgasm.
Orgasm denial seems simple, but beginning slaves might have troubles with this process. You will need to be patient and also strict so it’s clear that they need to follow what you are asking of them. Over time, a slave who is able to control their orgasms will learn that orgasms are more intense when they are earned.
They will learn the true power of your control when they deny themselves under your command.
Remote Sex Toys
Sometimes adding extra stimulation to your submissive’s life is a better way of showing the control you have. Discreet remote vibrators are a perfect addition to driving a submissive wild who has been denied for so long.
Without ever having to get up, now a Dominant can provide intense sensations at any time with just the simple touch of a button. For a submissive, who is desperate to orgasm, but even more desperate to obey their Dominant, this can be an intensely pleasurable experience for both.
Whether you only use it in the Dungeon or you incorporate it in your travels out, this little secret will keep your submissive on their toes.
Orgasm Denial Training Games
Example Rewards:
- 20 points – to be able to masturbate
- 50 points – Hand stimulation from Dominant
- 100 points – Intercourse with Dominant
- 150 points – Oral from Dominant
Or you can make each point count for time. One point is equal to one minute or one second of pleasure, the act of pleasure to be determined by the Dominant.
You can also combine the two reward systems together.
20 points – to masturbate for 5 minutes (if the submissive does not orgasm within that time frame they will have to cash in more points or wait until they have earned more).
The time can be added to each reward thus forcing your submissive to either learn to orgasm faster or suffer the consequences.
Points can be accumulated by completing domestic tasks, daily assignments to anything a Dominant can imagine.
Domestic Tasks:
- 2 points – Cooking a meal
- 2 points – Cleaning a room (living room, kitchen, bathroom, etc)
- 2 points – for exercising
Daily Assignments:
- 1 point – give Dominant or a dildo a blowjob for 10 minutes
- 1 point – wear a butt plug for x amount of time
- 0.5 point – For every time the submissive edges themselves
- 1 point – For essay on topic of Dominant’s choosing
Be creative, keep a close eye on your submissive to make sure the point system is keeping them motivated and not demotivating because it is too hard.
Dice
Roll a dice to determine how many days they must refrain from touching themselves. Feeling cruel use two dice. Why not one or two or three of those 50 sided dice?
You can also roll against each other. Biggest number wins. If your submissive rolls the biggest number they only have to wait that many days. If you win, they have to wait the accumulated amount of days of both your roll and theirs.
Want them really begging for release by the end, have your submissive edge themselves the same amount of times each day as the highest dice roll.
You can also use the dice to determine how many orgasms you as the Dominant will receive before the submissive will be allowed to orgasm next. If they can’t give you that many orgasms they better start working harder or they won’t be allowed to orgasm.
If you don’t have a dice laying around use a pack of cards instead.
Coin Toss
Whenever you see your submissive in a desperate state, bring out the coin and give them a chance to win an orgasm. With a coin toss they have a 50/50 chance, watch their eyes light up as the coin flips in the air before it determines their fate.
Pulling Your Fate Out Of A Box
Place as many equally sized pieces of paper into a box as you like. Each piece of paper will have a game or assignment written on it.
These games and assignments can be anything. For example:
- Play a round of the dice game
- Wear your chastity belt for X hours or X days
- I will edge you 15 times, but you are not allowed to orgasm
- Wear your remote vibrator for date not, but you are not allowed to orgasm
- Tonight is the night you will finally be allowed to orgasm. You have five minutes
- If you can orgasm in the next two minutes you will be allowed to have orgasms for the rest of the night. If not you will lose out on your next orgasm reward
It is up to the Dominant to decide how many good and bad situations are included. The longer you want your submissive to struggle the fewer good ones there should be.
Placing all the pieces of paper into your box, you will then allow your submissive the chance to draw one each time you play. Whatever is written on their card will determine their fate.
Write Me Your Thoughts
Does your submissive have a hard time communicating with you? Perhaps you just want to know exactly what naughty thoughts are running through their mind.
Whatever your reasons, having your submissive completely writing assignments is a perfect way for them to really earn an orgasm.
Things you can have your submissive write about:
- Their naughtiest/wildest fantasy
- A secret they have never shared with anyone before
- Best orgasm they have ever had
- What was their last dirty dream about
- Why do they deserve to have an orgasm the next time they see you
- Why do they love being submissive
- Why do they love having their orgasms denied and are grateful for you controlling them
- Why do they love serving you
An anything else you can possibly wonder about or can think of. You can also critique their writing when they had it in. If it doesn’t meet your standards they don’t get to orgasm. If you are still unclear about the answer you have asked or there were just far too many errors, don’t let them get away with it.
Break out your red marker and show them they need to earn that orgasm.
Tease And Frustrate Them
Use Their Weaknesses
For the majority of people in this world, they tend to have a preferred masturbating hand. After a significant denial period, make your submissive masturbate for you with their weaker hand.
Enjoy the view of your sub squirming as they desperately try to use their weak hand to make themselves orgasm.
Can’t Get No Satisfaction (for male submissives)
Most submissive men are eager and desperate to be allowed the honor to penetrate their Dominants. Here is an opportunity to allow them to do that but remove any satisfaction for them.
With the addition of a penis sheath, the submissive will be able to experience the actions of having penetration but they won’t be able to feel the sensations. He will be so close, yet further away than he has ever been.
As the Dominant you can also express how good the cock sheath feels in comparison to his tiny useless penis.
Desperate Times Calls For Desperate Measures
With your sub’s hands tied behind their back, let your submissive know they can finally orgasm. The only rule is they can’t use their hands or feet to help.
Oh the joys of being Dominant; watch them desperately grind, and hump on whatever they can find in an attempt to orgasm.
If you want to make the game harder, bind their feet as well. It will limit them to their immediate surroundings.
Red Light Green Light
Have your slave knee before you with their hand on their genitals. When you say “Green Light” they will be allowed to masturbate. When you say “Red Light” they must stop immediately.
Watch your submissive desperately fight to obey your command as their genitals begin to become more and more aroused.
In the end, orgasm denial is meant to help remind your submissive who they chose to give their body too and the joys that can be found by giving over that control. So have fun and enjoy the time you spend teasing your submissive as they struggle to appease you.
Do you have any fun tease and denial games/techniques you love playing with your submissive? Please share them in the comment section below.
By Master Bishop
The founder of the BDSM Training Academy. Master Bishop has been involved in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle for over 20 years. With a love for education both learning and teaching, Master Bishop has passed on his knowledge and experience to others entering into the BDSM lifestyle for over 15 years.
Copyright 2008-2023 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com
By reading and accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are responsible for any use of the information in this article, and hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates harmless in any claim or event.
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Train Your Body To Orgasm On Command
Quite a few people still believe that women’s bodies are these gigantic mysteries with some complex code needed to unlock the ever-elusive Orgasm. The misconception that women are unable to be easily aroused is false. Women tend to be more easily stimulated by more cerebral things – better put, women’s minds need to be turned on first before their bodies will follow. So, with this in mind, when it comes to a female submissive wanting to orgasm on command for their Master, you first must stimulate the mind to provide the body with the space it needs to let go and follow when instructed.
Such a great article, thank you!!!
Orgasm is God’s greatest pleasure! It’s a Man’s God given RIGHT and a woman’s PRIVILEGE. If God wanted woman to orgasm every time, you’d think He’d have made orgasm necessary for reproduction. A Man MUST orgasm to reproduce. It is not necessary for a woman. As it is almost 60% of woman can’t orgasm from penetration alone. Leading me to believe that like all privileges, it must be intentionally granted! Besides when you marry a Man, you are essentially giving yourself to him in EVERY WAY, your sex now belongs to your Husband. It is for His pleasure, yours is irrelevant. A good Husband will be attentive to your needs but knows that too much pleasure can spoil a good woman! Be grateful for the GIFT of the pleasure He does grant you. And remember your greatest pleasure will always come from satisfying Him! Orgasm is a man’s RIGHT and a woman’s PRIVILEGE. And abusing a privilege earns chastisement and denial of further privileges! Chastisement is an opportunity created by God for your benefit. Be sure to thank your Husband appropriately for chastising you!
In a Gay couple the submissive male’s orgasm is also a privilege though as they’re taking the woman’s place don’t you agree?