Rules to Follow at a Play Party

Play parties can be a fun way to bring your BDSM loving out into the world. And even if you’re not currently with a partner, you can enjoy the support of the BDSM community by leaving your house and going to gatherings with others who understand your needs and desires. But as with any party, there are some rules you want to keep in mind in order to be a good guest, one that’s welcomed back time and time again.

Look, But Don’t Touch

Some of the best rules to follow at a BDSM play party is to:

1) Look at what’s happening around you, but do not touch anyone else unless they’ve given you permission to do so. Realize that everyone in the party has their own set of rules and boundaries – and these limits may not be the same as yours.

2) Keep a respectful distance from everyone, surveying the scenes if they are out in the open, but those who have found private locales should be given their space to do what they like to do.

3) Some members may want to be touched, but even if this seems to be the case, play it safe and ASK them before you do anything.

4) Never touch another person’s toys. Many of these toys are private and personal items, so grabbing and swinging them around is considered very rude. If you don’t own it, consider it off limits!

5) While there might be some toys that can be used by the general public, it is a better idea to bring your own. You never know how these toys were used before and/or if they were properly cleaned after use. For a selection of high quality toys that will truly make your scream in pleasure click here

6) If you play on any equipment (ex. spanking bench, table or cross), it is always a good idea to wipe the equipment down with a cleaning agent provided by the dungeon, before and after you use it. Would you want to lay in someone else’s sweat, bodily fluids and anything else that might have leaked out during their play? Probably not! Its better to be safe then sorry when cleaning before you use the equipment. Many people forget about cleaning up after an exhausting flogging. Cleaning up after yourself is just its good manners, considerate and respectful of those around you.

Know Your Limits and Rules Ahead of Time

If you are in a fairly new BDSM relationship, before you get dressed up for the play party, it would be a good idea to talk to your partner about your limitations and expectations. This way, you know the rules for yourself before you get there and you don’t have to worry that you are doing something you should not. Talk to your partner about what you are allowed to do, what you are not allowed to do, and what may be negotiated. For example, if you’re a new slave and your Master wants you to work with another Master, then you might want to set that as a limit that you will not do that unless your Master is around to support you. Or you might say ‘no’ completely. Write up the rules you will both follow and then stick to them. While there might be a few times when you can negotiate on the spot, it’s best to talk things out before you arrive since you don’t want to have any miscommunications that lead to arguments or trouble in your relationship once you get back to your bedroom.

Confidentiality is Crucial

Since the BDSM community is one that is still pretty dark in the eyes of the rest of society, you will want to make sure that you keep the identities of everyone secret. This way, no one will get exposed for their proclivities unless they want to be exposed. Try not to ask for other people’s names and you yourself might want to use a pseudonym if you’re worried about your identity being exposed. Anything that happens in the play party needs to be discussed only between yourself and your partner, no one else. This maintains the safety of the party space and keeps you in good standing with its members.

A play party can be a fun way to mix things up from time to time. Being with others who enjoy BDSM can be a pleasurable experience. By following these rules and others the party space may have in place, you can make sure you have a good time and that you are welcome to come back, should you choose to return.


Mistress Brianne


Copyright 2008-2012 By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.


You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

0/5 (0 Reviews)

2 thoughts on “Rules to Follow at a Play Party”

  1. Thank you Mistress Brianne,

    This information is invaluable. While educating the new comers it also helps to reminds the experienced who can sometimes forget.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Didn't Get Any BDSM Gear For The Holidays At The BDSM Academy
The BDSM Training Academy Logo

This site is for consenting adults

over 18+ years of age only!


By Clicking  "Yes, I am over 18+ years old" you agree the following statements are true:

* I am over 18+ years of age
* I will not allow any minors to access this site or any material found herein

BDSM Training Academy Join Us

74% OFF



The BDSM Training Program

You Have Got My Mind Racing!

I have been rereading your book over and over, each time I learn something new.


Thanks to you I finally realize how strong of a person I am! 

P.S. just love all the new tricks I have learned

Mistress Sarah

Scroll to Top