Should a Slave Be Afraid?

In the BDSM relationship, adrenaline seems to be as valuable a tool as any whip or chain. When a slave is afraid, they are going to be more sensitive and they are also more likely to make mistakes, helping the Master or Mistress have some behaviors to train, while also helping to excite the Master or the Mistress who is turned on by the need to control. That said, there have been some discussions about whether true fear for one’s life and well being is a good idea in the BDSM relationship. After all, you don’t want to feel as though you should cower at a Dominant’s feet, do you? And a Master or Mistress doesn’t want a slave to be truly afraid of them, do they?

The Power of Fear

Fear is a powerful emotion and the most basic emotion that a human has. When we are afraid of anything, we are launched into the most basic of responses – fight or flight. We can choose to either fight what we are afraid of or we can choose to flee. In the BDSM context, the slave might have every urge to fight and to flee, but they might not be able to whether they are restrained or they are told not to fight or to flee. This causes a dramatic amount of tension in a scene and it can make the hearts of both the slave and the Mistress or Master beat all the faster. Fear also causes a slave to want to do anything in order to avoid the thing they fear: pain, restraint, etc. Thus, fear can be a powerful tool for training. As being able to avoid fear is a great motivator.

The Danger of Fear

However, the main concern with fear is that some slaves are not going to be able to handle these feelings. They might lose themselves in the fear and begin to suffer emotional problems as a result. A Master or a Mistress will want to make sure their slave is able to handle high stress situations which will involve fear or they might end up with a slave who is broken more than they are obedient. And that’s not the goal of slave training. The goal is to train a slave to be able to have the feelings of fear they have, but then they still can work through them in order to do what they are expected to do. When this is not possible, the training can falter and fail miserably.

The Balance of Fear

The feeling of fear is based on the idea that something unexpected might happen. As a Mistress or a Master develops a scene, they do not want to include anything that the slave does not want and as a result, the slave should not be afraid when they walk into the dungeon. They might be afraid of the pain they might face or of not pleasing their Master or Mistress, but they will have TRUST that their owner is not going to actually harm them. Does trust develop overnight? No, but the owner should be sure to show the slave that they will only do what they have agreed to do within the slave contact which has been developed.

Fear is a natural response, but it can be damaging in a BDSM relationship when it is actually based on the idea that the Master or the Mistress is going to harm the slave. When you have clear boundaries and you have safety words, chances are good the slave will never feel fear, only excitement and anticipation.

>>>For more ways to enhance the intensity of your Dom/sub relationship go to ===> Dominant/submissive Training Lessons


Master Bishop


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