In the world of BDSM, there are a number of different ways to define your relationship. For example, you might be a submissive to a partner, but do you want to be a true slave or a submissive? While all slaves are submissives, not all submissives are slaves. And that’s where it can get a little confusing. Whether you’re in a BDSM relationship now or you long for one in the future, it’s time to think about how you define your role in relation to your Dom/me.
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The Slave and Dominant
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If you were to fantasize about being dominating by someone else, you’re probably going to first think of the stereotypical slave and Dom/me relationship. Within this arrangement, the slave is going to completely submit to their Dominant on all levels – physically, emotionally, and mentally. This slave might be a full time slave or they might simply be committed to training with only one Dom/me. They would complete a course of training in order to serve their Dom/me in some way. No matter where they were at or who they were with, their Dom/me would be the one who calls the shots.
This is an intensive relationship in which the Dom/me focuses their attention on creating a perfect slave, however this might be defined for them. The slave would probably sign a formal contract as well, agreeing to certain terms and activities within the relationship. These two people are often romantically linked as well, sharing sexual contact as well as slave training.
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The Submissive and Dominant
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However, if you’re interested in just being submissive to a Dominant figure from time to time, then you might be more of a submissive than a slave. A submissive agrees to hand over control to someone else for an agreed amount of time. They might be in a relationship with someone else and have BDSM encounters on occasion, but they are probably not undergoing any sort of training schedule. They simply allow someone else to dominate them, with certain rules and restrictions and an agreement beforehand.
This submission might spread to the real world as well, but more often than not, a submissive is someone who only submits within the bedroom or dungeon. A slave is always going to be submissive to their Dom/me, so slaves are automatically submissives as well.
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Both is Better?
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As with any relationship you might have with someone else, you need to make sure this is something that makes you happy. For some, the idea of only giving over some of their control, some of the time is just not enough. So, you might be someone who wants to find a partner who will dominate them all of the time – leading to a slave and submissive lifestyle or arrangement. This tends to yield more results in terms of training a slave to be a certain way or to maintain a certain state of mind more often than not. However, these sorts of slave relationships are more time and energy consuming, so they are not always realistic for the majority of relationships.
Whether you call yourself slave or submissive or both, your dedication to the role you choose will allow you to get the most from it. Sit down with your partner to talk about what you envision and then see what they are able to do and able to give to you in return. You might find that this sort of slave relationship fantasy is not going to work out at the current moment – but it might in a few months or years. Thus, you can start off with submissive trysts and work your way up to more and more control.
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you need to have in your life go to ===> The Slave Training Tutorial
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Regards,
Master Bishop
&
Mistress Sophia
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Rewarding A Submissive For Good Behavior
Despite the commonly held belief that BDSM is essentially all about punishment, pain, whips, chains, and anything that might cause severe agony, the exact opposite is more commonplace. If you dissect the definitions of Bondage, Discipline, Sado, and Masochism, three of those words can be related to pain play, and even bondage can be used in a painful way, depending on how it is applied. If you search for BDSM, many images are submissives with strained faces being subjected to painful experiences. It can be hard to see past that first glimpse for many. While much attention is focused on discipline and pain for dramatic effect, when it comes to actual submissive training, rewards and positive reinforcement tend to be more effective in submissive training. As the old saying goes, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”
Punishment Basics – Why, When And How
Most of us can recall a time when we did something wrong as a child and then were punished for it. We were probably made to sit in a corner or take a ‘time out.’ When a slave has done something wrong, as W/we have learned from childhood, sometimes punishments can be effective at correcting the behavior that is if the submissive wants the behavior changed. The point of the punishment is to link the inappropriate behavior with the feelings of the unpleasant punishment which will occur if the behavior is repeated. This allows people to learn (some learn more effectively from punishment than others) from their mistakes so they will remember to not let it happen again. To do this, the Master/Mistress can employ a number of mind controls that will cause the slave to rethink their behavior and reconsider their future actions. Before you can include any kind of punishment training into your slave training there are a few necessities:
Fear Play in BDSM: How to Scare Your Partner Without Freaking Them Out
A lot of submissives enjoy feeling a degree of fear during BDSM. They get a thrill from the rush of anticipation, intensity, and suspense in the same way others might while skydiving or watching horror movies. A sexual experience that feels dangerous, but not so dangerous that we’ll walk away harmed or traumatized, can be an exciting adventure when shared in a controlled environment with a dom we admire. Going through an emotion-charged journey like that together can also strengthen the bonds of affection and trust.
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