Accepting yourself for who you are and having the strength to live your life the way you choose too is the definition of empowerment. Despite that most people in the world think submission is a sign of weakness and that all submissives are abused and taken advantage of. It is truly sad that they can not see that empowerment is the true purpose of submissive training. To stop pretending to be someone that you are not and become free to accept yourself for who you are. Do W/we all not strive for that in O/our lives whether W/we are kinky or not?
This is why I had to share this letter arhylda sent to Me. “I will tell you that I was diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago, and that diagnosis and the treatment, plus some other subsequent health issues, caused me to decide that I was going to become part of the BDSM lifestyle, as a gift to myself. Something I had wanted my whole adult life but never addressed.” I don’t know about you, but that truly sounds empowering to Me.
arhylda’s Master had asked her to complete a submissive assignment, by explaining in writing what submission and empowerment meant to her. This is the result of that wonderful assignment.
What do you think, does arhylda do a good job of explaining submission and empowerment? Do you think empowerment is apart of your submission? How would you complete that assignment? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
I’m truly grateful that arhylda is healthy and living the life that she has always wanted to live. That she is also so generous enough to share what she has learned with all of U/us. I hope you enjoy the essay as much as I did and thank you to arhylda for sending U/us this beautiful expression of herself.
[vc_row][vc_column width=”1/4″][vc_facebook type=”button_count”][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/4″][vc_googleplus annotation=”inline”][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/4″][vc_tweetmeme type=”horizontal”][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/4″][vc_pinterest][/vc_column][/vc_row]
Attached is your girl’s submitted homework assignment, to answer Master’s question – What does “submissive and Empowered” mean to the you?
At first I was considering discussing submission, then Empowerment, separately. Then it dawned on me that you really can’t discuss one without the other. The process of learning submission leads to Empowerment, even for those who do not use those terms.
But first, your girl does need to ponder submission, and then Empowerment, and then how they go together.
Submission. It seems so easy, and I think that many people do see it as easy. That it is simple to understand easy to do. I saw many people at big events who seemed to think that putting a collar on made you a submissive. Or they get hit with a paddle until they are bloody, and that makes them submissive. I think that being a submissive includes symbols of ownership, if that is appropriate. I think it includes turning your body over to your dom or Master, including impact or rope or bondage. Because that is a symbol of your trust of your Master. Trust that he will not hurt you beyond your ability to bear it.
For me, submission is more importantly about trusting my Master to lead me in the best direction for my growth. That could be play, pain, homework, listening, mindfulness/meditation. Letting go of controlling my life. The hardest parts of letting go are small often vanilla things. He wants me to go to yoga. He wants me to address an issue with my employer, where I am being taken advantage of. He wants me to ask for a more effective therapist. All of those things that I have not been able to do for myself for so long. He wants me to be whole, so that I can give him my submission from a position of strength. I want to still feel like I am in control of every aspect of my life, so that I feel safe. I might struggle against letting go and agreeing to whatever he commands, but I hope that I usually come around. I do not have to be in control, that is his job. And my job is to accept him in that role.
The best part of submission for me is in the protocol – following one step behind him, not ordering in a restaurant until he orders, carrying his coat, worrying about him and wanting to make his life easier and happier. If I could do those things, I would be beaming with joy. Protocol reinforces roles, hers and his. It is a gift I give to him, especially since he is sometimes embarrassed by the attention. But I have a history in the vanilla world of enjoying these small gestures. It makes me feel like I am the submissive partner, and he is the exalted partner. He takes care of her, and he takes care of the logistics, and she hands those things over to him, with trust. Protocol, for me, shows my submission in small, thoughtful, precise and sometimes even private ways. Often nobody knows what is even happening except for another submissive/slave who is also trained in this practice. Protocol is about mindfulness, and paying attention, and caring for the comfort of the other person. Wearing a collar? That is a public display of an emotionally intense bond. Spanking or other physical impact play or bondage even? That is something I love, so it is no sacrifice. No studied and considered act of submission. Protocol, in every step, every glance, every bended knee, is an expression between us of the joy I find in submission.
And Empowerment? If I have an innate submissive nature, the more I embrace that nature, the more Empowered I will become. The same is true for, say, an artistic nature, or a competitive nature. So many different traditions focus on finding your true nature and creating a life that embraces that self. If your nature is to be an artist, find a job that allows you to be creative.
So why do most people find it so difficult to allow submissives to embrace their submissive nature? It is so offensive to so many. That you would give control over all aspects of your life to someone else, or let someone else have control over your body to allow for bruises and pain? I think that it takes that much more to become Empowered through submission in that environment. Somehow people think that submission means weakness. When in reality, submission that is given from a position of Empowerment and strength is worth so much more. So much more if it is a decision, a gift, instead of something you do because you NEED the Dom to take care of you. In the best sense, the sub and the Dom are partners, with each playing an integral part in that relationship. Each getting something valuable, each giving something valuable. And only valuable if the other partner is aware of the worth.
Empowered – decisions made from a position of strength, doing what is best for you, the place where your strength is also better for the people in your life. And strong enough to move away from those that want to make your life more difficult, who want to control you from your weakness, not sharing in your strength.
This is why the relationship with you is so important to me, Master. I have seen more Doms and Masters, or wannabe’s who control their subs/slaves through fear or as if it’s a game. Where I see you as someone who is my partner, my teacher, my leader. If I need you in order to become a better sub, you also need me to grow as a Master. So I, as a submissive, am inspired to be better, to learn, so that whatever I bring to the relationship is worthy of what you bring to me.