Sometimes, you just need a break, don’t you? Change is, after all, a good way to get perspective, to learn about new things so that when you go back to what you know, you can be refreshed. However, BDSM is a different sort of practice. In order to have a strong BDSM relationship, you need to continue training and practicing the actions you decide to use in your relationship. So the question becomes: can you take a break from BDSM? Is a BDSM sabbatical a good idea?
The Case for Stepping Away
Life can become challenging at times. Schedules can become packed, responsibilities can pile up, and tragedies can occur. With these interruptions, sometimes there just isn’t enough time in the day to do all of the things you might want to do – even if you’re interested in BDSM. You might not have the hours to spare which will allow you to continue the training lessons you have setup. This is a normal part of life, these interruptions, so perhaps there needs to be a time period in which you both step away from the expectations and the time commitment of BDSM.
A good way to approach this sort of situation is to sign a new contract, stating that you are both agreeing to a BDSM break and a deadline as to when things will resume. If you still have doubts about resuming as this deadline creeps up, then a new agreement can be created at that point. You also need to be prepared for the possibility that one person or both of you might just want to end this chapter of your relationship.
The Case for Sticking To It
Of course, if you are interested in creating a Master-slave or Mistress-slave relationship in the long term, sometimes you just need to stick with your agreement. There will always be troubles in life and you will always feel behind in certain areas, but if you step away from BDSM for a bit, you might never come back to it. As a result, you might end up having to start from scratch if you do resume your relationship. Or you might find that one person isn’t as interested anymore.
BDSM doesn’t have to be a process which takes up hours of your day, after all. You might include smaller lessons and less time consuming tasks for a certain period of time, but never completely step away from the practice of BDSM. Try adding more verbal submission tactics in your training – i.e. more Yes, Sirs and Yes Mistresses. This way, the BDSM is still there, even if you’re not locked up in the dungeon every single day.
The Decision to Be Made
Many couples and relationships which practice BDSM will take time away from their practice or at least turn down the heat for short periods of time. But what is the best decision for you? This will depend on your relationship and the goals you have in place for your practice of BDSM. Some people just like to experiment with ropes, so taking a step away from this part of their relationship is no big deal. But for others who want to explore the idea of control and submission, it’s more difficult to turn off this sort of drive.
In the end, what works for your relationship might be different from what works for another’s relationship. So, you need to take your time in talking things out with your partner to see what you both want and need. A compromise is nearly always possible, but a lengthy discussion is the first step to creating the BDSM life you desire.
By Master Bishop
The founder of the BDSM Training Academy. Master Bishop has been involved in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle for over 20 years. With a love for education both learning and teaching, Master Bishop has passed on his knowledge and experience to others entering into the BDSM lifestyle for over 15 years.
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