Using BDSM to Enhance Intimacy

While television and other media sources might have you believe that BDSM is just for the wicked and dangerous, this is not always the case. Though it’s true that BDSM is considered to be more of a fetish than an everyday sexual behavior, that does not mean it can not be just as fulfilling as the idea of making love. In fact, many couples have successfully used BDSM to restore and to increase the intimacy in their relationship. And you can too.

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Admitting Your Fantasies
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Often, relationships can sour when couples do not talk about the things they want in the bedroom. Symbolic of their own concerns about the relationship, these couples refuse to ask for what they want and thus never end up getting what they need. If a partner is interested in BDSM, why not express this desire? This will help to bring many other demons and issues out of the closet, while also allowing the couple to have a new avenue to explore as they begin to work out their concerns with each other.

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Testing Out Your Trust
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BDSM is not just about spanking and bondage – it’s the practice of ultimate trust between two (or more) people. The person who is being bound or who is being the submissive, or both, has to trust their partner not to hurt them and not to cause them irreversible pain. This person needs to trust their partner enough with their body and with their feelings in order to hand over control to them. The person who is providing the pain and the pleasure has to trust their partner as well. The dominant figure needs to trust that their partner will let them know when things aren’t going well, when they are hurt, when they are scared, etc. The balance of the trust between partners is crucial to successful BDSM and these lessons can then be taken from the bedroom to real life.

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The Harder It Is, the More You Gain
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Any difficult situation will bring a group of people together. Knowing that you have shared a difficult BDSM scene allows you to realize just how powerful you both are. In this team mentality, you can then begin to see that other problems you might face will also be scalable, will also be surmountable, and that anything is possible within your relationship – so long as you are together. Intimacy is created when you share these new and difficult experiences as you are brought closer and closer together by the things you learn about each other.

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Continuing the Connection
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But BDSM does not need to be left in the bedroom. By taking the lessons you’ve learned during sex and applying them to your relationship as a whole, you will find you are closer and stronger as a couple. Some of the lessons that can be applied outside the bedroom include:

Trusting each other to talk about what you need – As you would during a scene, realizing that you need to trust the other person to state their needs and what hurts them can help you during other relationship situations.
Trying new things – Sometimes relationships just need new energy in order to bring the partners closer together. Trying new things together will allow you to reignite that spark.
Facing your secrets – If you have secrets in your relationship, they will disintegrate your intimacy. In order to be closer, you need to let all of those demons out into the open.

Relationships aren’t easy and neither is true, pure BDSM. By looking at the lessons of each, you can begin to establish a deeper intimacy with your partner, now and in the future.

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Regards,

Master Bishop

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