Vulnerability and Dependence In BDSM Relationships

In every slave training experience there comes a time when the questions of vulnerability and dependence will need to be discussed. Slave training is not realistic on a 24/7 basis, so focusing on the way a slave feels when the Dominant is something that needs to be considered.

Most people aren’t quite sure how to define the idea of vulnerability and dependence. For example, many people would say that vulnerability is simply being more sensitive than others might be, but this is only half of the truth. Vulnerability is something that needs to also consider that in this sensitivity, the vulnerable person can be harmed in a way that can not be healed – both emotionally and physically.

Dependence is the biggie in BDSM circles, but more so among beginning Dominants that haven’t had much experience outside of the fantasy of a slave training situation. The idea of having a slave that is totally dependent on their Master or Mistress sounds good in theory, but this is not only unrealistic, but it can also be exhausting for the Dominant. Do you really want someone that is completely dependent on you at all times of the day? Do you really want to make even the smallest decisions for the slave? Most Dominants will say that they do, but in reality, this isn’t as erotic as it sounds.

But this doesn’t mean that you don’t want to find the vulnerability in your slave during their training. By finding out what is sensitive in your slave, you can use this to facilitate their training. For example, if the slave is concerned about their ability to orgasm when you want them to, you might focus on achieving this in their training. If the slave expresses a desire to hold a certain bondage position that exposes them to you, then you might want to consider this for their training program.

This is a great way to establish mind control over your slave in order to mold them into a slave that wants to perform well for you and is more than willing to try to do the things that please you. If you find that you want your vulnerable slave to do something that makes them uncomfortable, you will be using their vulnerability to create a feeling of accomplishment in them, which then leads to more willingness to try new things for you.

Creating dependence is something that is much easier to do in the slave training process, but it should still allow for slaves to be able to make some decisions on their own – for example, when you’re not available, they need to be able to make decisions in emergency situations or with children or at work. But things like ordering the slave to ask for permission to do certain things will help you assert your control over them as well as remind them of their place in your relationship.

The problem with dependence is that the slave needs to be told what they are responsible for doing on their own and what they will need your permission to do. This is something that can change in the course of your relationship, slowly building up their dependence on your for making decisions – without exhausting the Dominant in the process. Eventually, many of these dependencies will become second nature.

Exposing vulnerabilities is a great way to begin the training process with a slave, but you will still need to be aware of where the slave’s limits are in terms of physical and emotional pain. This is the same case for dependence of the slave on the Master. While it is a perfect situation in terms of who is in charge, it can also present problems in real life, so the slave needs to have some independent thought allowed of them.

Regards,

Master Bishop

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