I am finding this letter hard to write, but I believe that it is an important message that everybody should hear. Within the last three months, a few friends of my family have committed suicide. While I did not know the people that committed suicide personally, I did know the families that have been effected by this awful tragedy.
I have seen and felt the heartache and pain that these families are going through. Nothing will relieve the pain and emptiness they feel from the loss of a child/sibling/or partner. Nothing.
I have been told each person that committed suicide was in enormous emotional pain. There seemed no end to the pain and life was just getting harder for them. For anybody who is feeling this way, or having suicidal thoughts, please know that there are lots of people who love you. They love you so much, that the idea of not having you in their life would tear them apart.
I know the families that are suffering now would have done anything to help their loved ones. They didn’t know that their loved one was in such pain, because they kept their feelings hidden. These families didn’t know they could help because they were kept in the dark and that just makes the pain even worse for them.
Please if you are feeling this way call your parents, siblings, partner, friends, call everybody. Let them know how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having. Let them help you, you would not believe how much better you will feel after just being around loved ones for five minutes.
You may feel like you can’t call your family or friends, but you can and they want you too. They want to help you. If you feel like you have nobody to talk to then please call 1-800-273-8255. Its a line where people just want to listen and help you. This line is available 24/7 and its totally free. Anybody in North America can call and you can even call from other parts of the world if you have skype.
If you know somebody who you feel might be feeling this much pain in their life, please give them a call and let them know how much you love them and that you are there to help them. They need to hear from you. I know we all get busy in our own lives and sometimes its hard to break away, but just a five minute call to tell someone you care can make a huge difference.
Now is the time, more then ever, that we reach out to our friends and family and tell them how much we care.
Master Bishop, Mistress Sophia and the rest of the bdsm training academy team
I just wanted to thank everybody who took the time to write U/us or left a comment on this post. It took a lot of courage for everybody to share their stories and opinions about such a hard subject. For those of you who have struggled with such feelings and feel like nobody cares, please just read the comments below. There are many people who understand and do care.
24 thoughts on “A Message Of Love”
Great message….Thanks for sharing some love in a world so full of hate. We all need each other to survive.
LOVE ONE ANOTHER….!
Aloha and Mahalo to Master Bishop, Mistress Sophia and to all at the bdsm training academy.
Thanks for this. I am feeling this way and didn’t want to share it with my SO since we have just started our relationship. I am scared that he will not want to be with me anymore but I have told him that I have thought this way in the past and he told me he’s here for me, but I’m really scared that he’s going to leave anyways…
I am sorry for your losses. I know, believe me I know that this is a very difficult season but you are so right in knowing that there are always people out there who love each and every one of you.
If you feel yourself in need…than reach out. People, even in today’s society, are willing and able to help. Even a soft shoulder or an ear, there are people in OUR groups and our society that want to help.
Happy Holidays and keep the smiles up.
I know how difficult it must have been for you to write this…..I am saddened to hear it. Unfortunately, this time of year is filled with despair for some…the pain is greatest for those left behind. Most people who feel they can’t go on don’t really want to die…they just want to stop the hellish pain and suffering they feel.
Your letter may save someone’s life….thank you for writing it. I feel glad that I have such a compassionate person as a guide in my new interest.
Peace you your and yours during this season.
I cannot express how much I adore your passionate display of love to your bdsm kinsmen as well as to those souls who may be crying out for a simple touch of acknowledgement. I work for my local court system and for some the thought of going through whatever turmoil that brought them there in the first place makes some of them walk a little closer to the edge of dispair than others. Some come there just to have someone to talk to, about nothing a lot of the time. Just having someone acknowledge that they are worthy to be listened to is enough. That’s how I learned patience and tolerance are powerful tools. So I just want to thank you again for letting us know we are all worth a little of someones time. One never knows how much loneliness can bring you down and change you completely. Thank you for sharing your time.
Its a heart warming message but alas for some people the holiday season just means there dispair is heightened and why so many feel they have no where to turn,
I hate the holiday season for this reason alone, it really does show how little some people care including family members. Why would I say this because im one who will spend it alone, why because im a bad person no i dont think so, but because my family/friends every year and during the year dont take the time to even want to spend time with me.
Ive tried talking etc, in end just gave up and let them get on with it, dont stop the hurt though,
Point is not all family/friends care even if they know your not at your best.
So sorry to hear of such pain. Me myself am going thru a
really hard time myself. I was with a guy for 11 years and three of those years we were married.
we never faught if we did it was over my kids and money but we really never had any problems until we got married I’m sorry to say
but what I’m trying to say is I have been feeling this way for a few mons now and I’m at my wits end thinking of that more that i should My kids are what keeps me from something so stupid but he my ex makes it really hard
I met someone that wanted a mistress and now I don’t see him anymore either he just stop talking to me all together two rejections from men thats hard to deal with and I’m not even sure he has rejected me I just don’t know
when we first got together hes kisses set my lips on fire and they where num for hours after wards he made me feel like someone and let me be me in the bedroom and I could do what I wanted to him we had fun together he was teaching me to be a mistress and I was loving it now nothing. it was like to kids playing hook and loving it
thats why life suck
being 50 and not wanted yea right what reason is there to live for uh what. If my kids didn’t need me right now I would do the same because two rejection and
you know there is nothing I can’t do once I sit my mind to it nothing I even work on cars I do my own repairs on my cars I cook fish and even clean them hunt camping swim I will even live with on ele. I can camp and live that way and be happy what the hell who wouldn’t want a woman that can work on her ol’mans car Maybe thats the problem I’m to much of a woman uh
you know I say to myself life goes on then you die
or what I don’t know wan’t hurt me
I just wish that things would have worked out with me and my love slave. may be i wouldn’t feel like such a loser
and I can do something I really start to enjoy will this is it
I see myself driving off a cliff some where
i Like to drive fast and off road a lot like it more than and thing off road is the bomb. If I did go fling off road I’d survie it any way thats just my luck
life just sucks right now and I don’t want to be apart of it right now I want my life back bbut I can’t its gone and thats that life really suckssskskdjfdjfjhf9
Thank you so much. You just saved me from a drastic decision I might have taken, had I continued pondering on the lines I have been.
Hi! I am so sorry you and your friends & family have to go through this. I too have been in that position, and I know first hand the devestation it leaves in it’s wake.
Thank you for your heartfealt message(plea?), I hope it will help somone somewhere, if even just 1 person that will make such a huge difference to so many people.
Again, Thank You!
I hope you will be able to have some kind of holiday celebrations.
Take care! /L
Thank you for this message. A mere thirteen months ago I was in that place, seriously contemplating suicide and stopped twice with police intervention. That feeling of hopelessness and isolation is what I peceived to be so true when in fact the opposite was the case. My Family and children all loved me even though we had been separated and apart for many years.
As you rightly say to anyone who feels this way, just reach out and talk to someone these feelings will pass and life will become so good once again.
WOW! You made me cry. Reaching out to others can be so hard to do. I can”t imagine burdening my family or friends with my drama.
You have no idea how much this notification means, to be able to let people know there is help.This year I lost 2 family/friends to suicide and was a devastating thing wish I could have given them this advice.Thank you for reaching out have a wonderful holiday
Thank you for these words of kindness and concern. My cousin took his own life two years ago, after struggling with alcohol addiction and failed relationship problems. Three years before that his own mother also commited suicide. No one can predict who may fall under this dark spell of despair that would drive them to feel so hopeless and lose the desire to fight for life. My prayers go out to you and your loved ones for your loss.
For Shantilla, who posted above Me here on the 21st of her own feelings towards this. Stop and consider that your life is your most precious gift; find contentment and peace in that one thought. Seek to cultivate your own sense of self-awareness and self-confidence that does not rely on outside sources for happiness and meaning. If you can do this, you will carry with you a sense of self-worth no matter who you are in a relationship with, or even if you find yourself between relationships for some unforseen reason. Remember that no matter where you may find yourself in life, you are never truly alone or without resources. There is always someone willing to help you if you will only reach out to them.
Hold on to the truth that this Life and Way helps to develop in us; The Power of Self-Control.
great message especially around this time of year, but speaking from experience, even when you seek professional help, sometimes the feelings and depression root causes cannot be found. Even then the person should not give up.
To Shantilia – I know how you feel…and that is a tough decision to make. However, if he was supportive in the past, I say give him another shot.
I have dealt with mental illness the majority of my life and have been suicidal before. The cries for help don’t often come in the form of “Hi, can you please help me?”.
I know when I was having some problems before and in hindsight see I was reaching out for help, I have been told things like get over it, don’t bring it to work with you (like I have a choice when it happens), and the worst was that I was selfish because of the hurt I would cause others. Selfish? I think they are selfish for wanting to keep me around while I suffer just so they don’t have to feel sad.
Even when you do ask for help the right way, many (the majority) people don’t know how to react to that type of situation. They often make you want to crawl in a hole and not bother asking again because you will get nowhere. Then there are the people that smother you to with affection. Personally, I find that annoying and I feel like I’m being treated like a kid and usually people feed you the same lines “oh we all care about you and love you, etc…” or they become over protective.
It definitely not easy to find a therapist you are comfortable with either. I have been to several. This one weirdo told me to do push-ups every time I had the urge to cut myself…and made me do them in his office…on my first visit! I am not an athletic person at all either.
One of my ex co-workers/friend just shot himself a couple weeks ago. He was a very happy and outgoing guy. However, he suffers from bipolar. People with bipolar can have extreme highs and extreme lows. I am more of a low person and he was more of a high. I never knew he had it, but when I found out, it made sense. He was 30 and left behind a wife and 2 kids. He wasn’t taking his meds.
One thing you can do is make sure someone is taking their meds on a regular basis. Also, not all medications work and it can take a looong time to find the right combination that works. During that time, some side effects can be really bad. If someone you know starts new medications, just keep an eye out for them. I know when I ran out of my one medication, it only took one full day to pass before I went crazy. It was horrible and worse than most episodes I had without meds. The withdrawal side effect was extremely scary.
My advice when talking to someone, be down to earth, watch what you say and try not to throw out too many generic phrases that anyone can say (makes it mean less) and don’t talk down to them or treat them like a child…and do not yell at them or tell them they are stupid for thinking like that. It’s often a disease causing it. I don’t see too many people telling cancer patients to knock it off lol. Also, spend some time just with them…you don’t have to do anything or make it seem like you are. Sometimes just having someone there in the same room watching a movie with you can make a difference.
Thank you for posting that message. I cut my daughter’s fiance down from our garage rafters after she had found him hanging. The effect that death had on both of us for a long time, and will have on her and her son’s lives forever are profound and unimaginable.
Please, anyone out there who is contemplating ending their own life, talk to someone – anyone. NOTHING in life is so bad you need to kill yourself over it. It may not seem like that to you at the time, but please trust your family and friends to help you through it. If you can’t trust them, go to your doctor, your nurse, your counsellor. Seek help – there is a light at the top of this dark hole that seems to be caving in on you. Please seek help. There is no way back from the alternative.
Going to hard time myself this is one of the kicks under my bumb to make the right desision. I´m suffering BPS, I use the word suffering as at one point it became just that.
On 1 januari I shall make the official desision to go to a mental hospital.
I know what a kind word means, but also what fighting with a loved one means. It means they love you or else they would just turn away. At least with some fights.
I´m scared as hell to go to the institution. As it means I have to give up things I like in life in there. Not things like drugs or going to a bar. But just the little moments of privacy like reading a book in the evening laying on my bed in silence. As there will be a roommate. Well and euhm the other things a single woman does when she is 26. Sounds strange I know and people might think well if that means so much to you….
Then I say a well think what you want! As there are not manny things in life anymore near those and the love of the few people left.
To all people who suffer with mental illness please find official help. And if the help you get is not enough don´t suffer under that for 2 years as I did. But take action, a 2nd opinion or get another psych.
You are a human being who deserves the best. Not some idiot who doesn´t pays any interest in you.
All people are beautyfull. You might have a different taste, but look better for a moment, look for the beauty of life. So you are too beautyfull. Inside and outside. Don´t let anyone tell you different as they might be damaged from the inside, they did get blind. And that is very sad for them.
I wish you all a warm christmas. Please don´t be alone. Even a lonely neighbore is better to have around you then being alone. You never know what good friendship may be the result of such spontanious invitation.
@ Vivian – I am a borderline as well. It is one of the hardest of my disorders to deal with because drugs can’t fix all of it. Another reason it is so hard is because you push away the ones you care about. You don’t mean to, but you do. I have contemplated a hospital as well, but I don’t have anyone to watch my pets. Honestly, my pets were the only things that kept me around at some points of considering suicide. Not family or friends (which I don’t have much of either), but my pets who depend on me. If you ever want to talk, you can IM me on yahoo (pain4anangel). It is hard finding others who can understand what a borderline feels and does. Even the psychologists don’t like to deal with patients who have it.
@ Debbie – I am so sorry to hear about your daughter’s fiance and how you had to go through with all of it. I think when many of us are in a clear mind, nothing seems bad enough to kill ourselves. However, that’s the problem with mental illness and impulses. You don’t really see things the same way…and often can’t see it as much as you may try. Breaking a vase to one person may not seem like much although they may be upset, but to someone in a disrupted state of mind may fly off the deep end and it is not the same person doing the thinking for them. I wish it were as easy to say that nothing is worth doing that, but there is an unexplainable pain that alienates you from everyone…even yourself. I’m speaking from my experiences, personal and otherwise. I don’t know how to explain it really. It’s just not the same person in there…so that person can’t always rationally ask for help. The hardest part in my life was getting help for myself. It was like a war going on in me between the messed up Sara and the normal Sara. It was such a struggle, but I made it…and I did it alone. So many people have abandoned me over time that I just don’t even want to bother burdening people if I am having problems anymore. It’s easy to push people away when you don’t mean to…and it’s even easier for someone to walk away from someone in need because they can’t understand or don’t want to.
Anyone interested in learning more about mental health, please visit the National Alliance on Mental Health.
thanks for this message of love..it make me cried when i read this..
I am n0w on this feeling..i was with a guy before and live together with him for almost 10th, years and have 3 kids..but my life is so misserable when i was with him…but i never been to think i have to revange in same way..for kids seek..until i decide to leave him…
Even my parents they did n0t kn0w how difficult situation i were in!
And didnt want to shared it to any0ne else who closed to me cos i kn0w they cant understand me…and i tried to leave it fr0m the past!
And start to m0ving on until i met some0ne and i fall inlove with him,he is very old for me but i d0nt mind about our age gap.
Since we have just started our relati0nship i have doubt that i am going to failed ths relati0nship again.. Everytime he got travel for his job, i am very scared that he will n0t be back and i can n0t see him again..
And i always have told him i have thought this way in the past and i d0nt want to make it happen again.but he told me hes always be there for me,
but im still scared as i kn0w one day hes going to leave me..for his family.
I am really worried to my self cos i do n0t kn0w if i can handle ths kind of situation again..
I love u master chris…
Merry christmas to all
i 2 know of some families who lost thier 12-14 yr old kids 2whom commited suicide due 2 being bullied @ school they hung themselves & the parents found them ~bullying needs 2 STOP~ my heart goes out 2 these families ~as i have a 13 yr old daughter i cant imagine…….merry christmas 2 all & remember actions speak LOUDER than words ~hugs r awsome~cheers
These stories break my heart. I’ve made two attempts which were not completed, simply because friends happened upon me when I thought I couldn’t be found. Depression can come from both bad situations and off balance chemicals in the brain. Treatment does help. I promised my wife, family and friends that I would do whatever necessary to avoid such desperation again. Please, please seek help. I do know how you feel. Call a hotline. Go to the emergency wing at a hospital. Go see your doctor. Just please don’t give in. -Mark
Life always gets better!! I promise. But you’ll have to stick around to see!!
Wow, this article was sad but I feel it is definitely important…I suffer from Bipolar/Schizoaffective (they havent quite figured out which or both lol) and in the past I have tried to off myself several times. Thankfully my attempts either failed or i was caught. I was in a horrible place, and had friends who just would not stop telling me what a selfish person I was for wanting to call it quits.
Thankfully I got professional help, however it has taken 5 years to find a therapist who could successfully treat me, as well as finding a medication combination that works. Unfortunately, my current Script is somewhat effective but has terrible side effects, and I have already gained over 40 lbs…but I would rather weigh a bit more and be more stable then not take my meds and be thinner…
The support of my LTR (and off/on Master) has really made the difference in my quality of life, as well as my medication. Finding someone who will legitimately act as your support person is one of the most important things that you can do.
Like many others have stated, please do not give up!
Thanks for your message, and peace to your family and friends. I think everyone now and again at least has a fleeting thought of ending it, or at least hoping it would end. but life is a gift and it is the only one we get. when you are dead, there is nothing. it even says so in the bible. Being a Dom, sometimes you have to make the hard decisions, be the bigger person always, but still to have compassion and understanding. after all, how can you have a level of control over someone if you cannot understand them. To all those people who are or have been thinking about ending their lives, things always get better, you just have to give it time, not take life too personally. no matter how it seems, the world isnt out to ruin your life. Take ALL experiences (good or bad) as an experience that you can learn from, take something from it and better your mind. become stronger from them…….cheers to ALL from Australia