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The Difference Between BDSM And Abuse

The Difference Between BDSM & Abuse

BDSM is meant to enhance and strengthen a healthy, loving relationship. In no way shape or form, would W/we ever support any form of abuse. It is wrong to physically or emotionally lash out at another person and cause that person any form of mental, emotional or physical harm or duress.
In the image below you will be able to see a list of the big differences that I believe separate BDSM from abuse. Have a look and let Me know what you think.

Fake vs Real Dominants infographic Small

The Difference Between Fake And Real Dominants

Choosing the Dominant that you want to serve is a serious decision. One that is taken far too lightly but in fact should not be. Making yourself mentally and physically vulnerable to the wrong person can have terrible repercussions. A genuine Dominant can produce a supportive relationship that will allow a submissive to feel safe enough to be their true self thus allowing for more intense experiences. In the image below you will be able to see a list of the big differences that I believe separate BDSM from abuse. Have a look and let Me know what you think.

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Submissive Discovery Of Little Self Identity

Undercover Littles: Integrating Little Me In Daily Life

The little’s community was not just the first community I encountered when I stumbled into the lifestyle in 2018, but also one of the warmest and most accepting. Despite my lack of familiarity with the language, practices, or dynamic structures, it felt like I had found my people at last. Being “little” is more of a character trait than a hat I wear during a …

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Support From A Strong Dominant

The Art Of Asking For Help As A Submissive

Wow. Sitting here at a computer, writing for the Academy again. It feels: surreal. Amazing. And also completely terrifying. The words don’t come as easy as they once did, yet this is the very moment I have been fighting to get back to for the past year. See, this past year I was fighting a cancer which, up until a month or so ago, I …

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Know Your BDSM Boundaries

Creating Boundaries From Scratch

My upbringing didn’t prepare me for the concept of boundaries. Instead, I learned that privacy was seen as a negative and equated to secrecy. I also learned that self-sacrifice was one of the cornerstones of love and that to say no to someone you loved made you a mean, evil person. Needless to say, I left home primed and ready for victimhood, codependent relationships, and heartbreak.

I found myself in situation after situation where I was constantly made a doormat. It didn’t matter how nice I was or how often I changed myself, the expectation was for me to take all of my partners’ negativity and smile while doing so. It had gotten to the point where mistreatment was so normalized, I could never see the warning signs and found myself in one soul-sucking relationship after another.

Seduction Of Abduction Play In BDSM

The Seduction of Abduction Play

The bag is pulled roughly over my head as strong arms lift me unceremoniously from the ground. I’m manhandled into the back of a vehicle, pushed to the floor, and held down as my wrists and ankles are tightly bound.

I let out a panicked scream and a large hand clamps my mouth shut. Through the rough material, I can hear a muffled male voice telling me to keep still and be quiet. I’m scared, I can’t see anything and my heart is racing. The engine starts up and we drive off into the black of night. I’m not sure where I’m being taken or what’s going to happen to me. I am helpless and at the mercy of my abductor.

The Strength Within Submission

Submissive Self-Collaring

When I first found the kink world, I suppose what I was looking for was direction. As a submissive, little, and pet, having a guardian in the lifestyle and life was something that appealed to me. What I discovered after finding myself in lackluster partnerships, toxic pairings, and uncomfortable situations was that a part of me was looking for someone to lead me because I …

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Starting A BDSM Scene

Starting A BDSM Scene

My first experience crafting a scene with a submissive partner was a disaster. I read somewhere that you should have the submissive say some sort of repetitive mantra to begin the scene. The idea was to get her to have positive affirmation about being submissive to me and… whatever.

She was just not into it, the whole thing got derailed from the beginning, and I scrambled to recover.
First times are fraught with complexity and questions and awkwardness, and BDSM first times are not exempt.

It’s easy to forget what it’s like when you finally find someone that wants to play (win!) and is going to let you be dominant (double win!). But then what do you do next?

I’m going to do my best to help you through starting a scene.

Healing With Kink Part 2

Kink Healing: Part 2

A continuation of kink healing part 1 to delve deeper into understanding the potential healing power of kink.

When I first found BDSM I had many misconceptions about the potential of the lifestyle. I was under the impression BDSM was just a fun bedroom activity to escape the real world and that it could be a place to connect with other “freaks” like myself. While there is a level of truth to that, the more I leaned into the lifestyle, the more I discovered it’s true potential. Because the BDSM world is so steeped in vulnerability, connection, and communication, it serves as the perfect arena for growth and personal development.

When I came to this conclusion, it delved deeper into experimenting with different elements of BDSM and whether or not it could transform my life.

Why I Love Playing With Floggers

Why Flogging Is My Favorite Impact Play

A submissive girl I met at a munch invited me to my first play party. As my evening began, I was full of hopes and dreams and countless fantasies, but exceptionally short on experience. Not only did I learn a lot on that evening, but I got to play for the first time too. And that experience created a lifelong love of impact play that …

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I have been rereading your book over and over, each time I learn something new.

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Thanks to you I finally realize how strong of a person I am! 

P.S. just love all the new tricks I have learned

Mistress Sarah

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