Dominant BDSM Question: When a Sub is More Experienced

I have always known who I am but I have just recently looked into expressing myself as a Dom. Recently I met sub who has more experience than me and wishes for me to take her as a 24/7 pet. This is what I would like and she is everything I have been looking for. I like her very much, but don’t want to disappoint her with my lack of experience. This is a very hard decision and I refuse to take it lightly. Can you help me?

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Master Bishop’s Thoughts

Becoming a Dominant does not happen overnight, and anyone who does take it lightly should not be given the privilege of being in control of someone else – no matter how much they want it. When you realize you want a slave, you should be worried about whether you are doing things right and how you can continue to be the best Master possible. Thankfully, there are many things you can do to ensure that you are in control at all times – no matter your experience level.

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Learn What to Do
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It always helps to learn as much as you can about being a Dominant before you actually sign up for the gig. This way, you will be able to walk into your arrangement with some knowledge. Take some time to read websites, view movies, and to read books on BDSM. This is going to help you see what other Masters have done and what you can do to make sure that you are becoming the best Master possible. True, you will learn a lot of different techniques and approaches, so find the one that makes the most sense to you. And realize that you might change things up as you begin to put your new skills into practice.

You might also want to realize that you’re not going to learn as much if you don’t actually start practicing the techniques you are learning. Remember practice makes perfect.

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Create a Plan
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In the beginning, it’s a good idea to create a plan for what you want to do with your slave. This might be a training schedule or just a list of the things you want to achieve in some of your sessions together. There are a number of different plans available from other Dominants online and in books, but you might want to look into writing your own. First, figure out what kind of slave that you want, then sit down with your slave and ask them what they want to do as a slave. Then compromise by meshing both of your ideas into a your slave training.

Once you understand the main objective, you can figure out the steps you need to take to get their. For example, I love orgasm control training. I would write out that the main objective is for the slave to orgasm on my command.

Now I can write out the rules they will need to learn:
* No more touching yourself/masturbation without permission
* No more cumming without permission
* All pleasure must come from Me
* the slave will only be able to orgasm when I have given permission too
* the slave must always ask for permission to orgasm and wait for a response
* etc

You can see by having these rules laid out, that its easier to create a number of sessions to help teach and reinforce these rules.

With these rules in mind, try writing up a few scene ideas as well as the purposes of each of those scenes. That will help you to create a strong momentum in your training with the experienced slave. And you can always change your plan if you find things aren’t working for you.

You don’t have to plan out the scene step by step, as nothing ever works out exactly as you plan. However, having a basic idea that you can keep in the back of your mind to focus the scene on will help to move training session in the direction you want.

For Example:
First Orgasm Control Training Session
Goal: to teach the slave that their body belongs to Me
Steps:
* Instruct slave before session how you want them to dress and present themselves when they first come over for the session
* Will need bondage so they know they have no control of their body – Have them strip down in front of you and put on the wrist and ankle cuffs
* While bound explain rules of training as previously stated in rules
ie: No more touching yourself/masturbation without permission, No more cumming without permission
* tease and play with slave but don’t let them orgasm until they fully understand and agree to the rules
* etc

Special Note: Of course, make sure you have spoke with your slave outside of the training room and that they have agreed to hand over this control and allowed you to train them this way.

To learn about more ways to train your slave click here

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Learn from Mistakes
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Yes, you will make mistakes as a Dominant. Everyone does, especially in the beginning. And even if your slave seems to be someone who is experienced and flawless, this isn’t the case. They’re going to make mistakes too. What you need to do right now is to be ready to take control even when you’re making mistakes. You need to walk into the room, confident that you will control your slave, no matter what happens. When you do this, you will be able to be the Dominant in the scene.

Finally, if you are new to dominating someone else, it’s best to start out with a few basic scenes with that person before you sign up to be with them in a longer term setting. Essentially have fun with them, find out what they like and don’t like. For these scenes just enjoy being with that person. Once you have a bit more experience and understand that person a little more you can then decide whether you even want to take person on 24/7. The fantasy is great, true, but it’s also a lot of hard work. Having some experience will make things all the easier.

Regards,

Master Bishop

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

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2 thoughts on “Dominant BDSM Question: When a Sub is More Experienced”

  1. Rachel The Head Maid

    Hello Master Bishop,

    this is exactly the place I am in: I have a sub under me that so enjoys when we are together but I am struggling to keep things exciting. She is a man that is dressed as a sissy maid and has done this more years then I think i have been alive! This article was very helpful and I have several things now I will try out.

    RTHM

  2. Salutations,
    This is the area I find myself in. My new girlfriend is an experienced submissive and has asked me to be her Dominate. I have no experience at all in BDSM, but find myself intrigued by the idea. I am excited to have found this site, as it has so many helpful and inspirational articles. We haven’t yet talked about what kind of submission she want to provide, but I wanted to thank you for giving me somewhere to start my research. I am honored this woman chose me to give her what she desires,and have taken the opportunity seriously.

    Love, smacks and candle wax
    New Dom John

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