Just A Bump In the Road

It has been a year and a half since Master and i began our Master/ slave, 24/7 Total Power Exchange relationship and the journey as i have previously written has been amazing and enlightening and a host of other positive and warm adjectives. But this isn’t just a journey for Master and I, it is a growth and path to a new dynamic with significant changes to a relationship that had begun 20 years ago as husband and wife and was well established and happy.

i don’t know of any relationship that hasn’t at some point hit a bit of a snag or a bump in the road. BDSM, M/s, Power Exchange relationships are no different. But as Master always tells me “It is the way we handle these bumps in the road and these challenges that will determine the course the relationship or journey will take.”

So, recently, i was feeling as if my training had stalled a bit. It seemed that Master was not adding any new rules or protocols. The time spent together was at times a bit strained. i seemed to be more, tense and on edge lately and frankly i wasn’t at all sure where these feelings were coming from and i was not very happy with them or with myself and frankly Master was not very happy with me either.

The problem was i wasn’t feeling very much like myself. i was happy don’t get me wrong. My training up to this point was going very well. Master seemed pleased. i finally adjusted to the recent changes in our home. But It seems that somewhere along this new journey Master and i forgot how to do some of the things that were so important to the 20 years of a loving, passionate, successful marriage, partnership and friendship that W/we were so blessed with. . W/we forgot how to just relax and chat, how to just laugh and how to just be… There was definitely something out of sorts with O/our connection and Master was feeling it as well.

W/we found that although W/we wanted to continue to maintain our 24/7 power exchange W/we needed to also allow for the fun, spontaneous and familiar interactions between us as well. For example,

• i love using Sir and Master and Master loves hearing it but i also love the way his (Name) sounds and feels when said in the heat of passion or as a teasing whisper in His ear.

Well as my good fortune would have it, Master loves the way i say his name sometimes as well. By removing the use of Sir’s “Name” almost entirely essentially lessened some of the intimacy W/we so enjoyed in O/our relationship. Instead of enhancing this part of our relationship W/we created a disconnect in .

Now, W/we have defined the rules with regards to when, where and how to use the respectful titles of Master and Sir and when it would be acceptable to be less formal.

• i love to reach out and caress or grab several particularly favorite parts of Master’s anatomy and often when He least expects it.

Since Master controls my pleasure, and my focus was on His pleasure, for some reason i felt it would be inappropriate in our new M/s dynamic for me to continue to do this. Well turns out, Master’s new lesson is that i am never ever – ever to assume or make a decision regarding what He would or would not find appropriate behavior. Ouch lesson learned…. Ha-ha,, just kidding.

However, what W/we did agree on was that once again we were replacing a vital part of our relationship with rules and protocols that were not enhancing O/our lifestyle or dynamic but instead were creating stress and some awkwardness.

Master is no different from most people He wants to feel desired and wanted and W/we never wanted this lifestyle to cause me to feel uncomfortable about touching Him and showing Him just how much i desire Him. So again Master and i made changes and tweaked certain rules and protocols that allow for both respect, obedience and open outward shows of affection, lust, passion or all….

Master and i are very happy and committed to this new journey and lifestyle. But at times it can be difficult, and tense and confusing and you are going to have bumps in the road along the way.

While on this journey be careful not to lose touch with the parts of your personality that first connected you to your Master/husband/partner. Try to find a way to balance the dynamic and rules and protocols while still keeping the parts of your personalities and relationship that first attracted you to each other.

Have a vanilla day or date, Go to the movies, walk around the mall, hold hands, laugh at each other, touch, kiss devour without my asking for permission and without an agenda in mind. Take a time-out step back, communicate and make sure you haven’t lost a vital part of yourself or your connection because you are too focused on the Power Exchange or the rules or the protocol.

There are many different challenges to Power Exchange relationship and when you begin your relationship as a husband and wife or long time partners and embark on this new M/s relationship and journey you will encounter some unique challenges and losing some of the fun, endearing qualities that first attracted you and your one can easily happen but if you discuss them and your desire to continue on your journey then you can always make adjustments to the rules and protocols to preserve the personality and enhance the relationship and the journey.

Getting Lost Along the Way … It’s just a bump in the road.

Thank you

sub-kathleen

 

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