What If You Are Not Happy With Your Master/Mistress

If the unthinkable happens – you have a ‘bad’ Master/Mistress – what are you going to do? Though this is not talked about much, the truth is that you might be unfortunate to have a Dom/me who either doesn’t know what They are doing or They just don’t do what you and They agreed upon. And while your Dom/me might be having a good time with you, you might not be feeling satisfied with your arrangement. Unless you are willing to put up with the problems, you need to address the situation (even if you are a slave) to make sure your BDSM relationship works for the both of you.

Think About Your Attitude

Attitude really is everything when you are a slave. When you are being petulant and whiny, how do you expect your Master/Mistress to treat you? Should They just be happy with a slave who doesn’t seem to behave or even want to listen to their Dom/me? Of course not. Before you start placing the blame on your Dom/me, you need to start thinking about your own role in the relationship. Are you doing the things you’re supposed to do? Are you choosing your Dom/me’s needs over your own? Are you following the terms of your contract? If you find that you might be at fault for not holding up your end of the bargain in your relationship, you might want to shift your attitude first before you start telling your Master/Mistress that They must be the one with the problem.

Communicate Your Concerns

If you’re sure that you are doing things right or you have corrected your bad attitude and your relationship is still not very smooth sailing, it’s time to sit down to talk. You will want to request some time outside of the bedroom to talk about your concerns. This will help your Master/Mistress to see that you are not happy and They will also be able to express any concerns They might have for you too.

1) Take some time to look at your contract together to see if you’re both holding up your end of the agreement or if you need to change your BDSM agreement altogether as it might not be working out as well you both planned.

2) Keep your comments about what is not working simple and short since you want to address the major issues first. See if that straightens things out before you start complaining about all the small details.

3) Don’t point fingers and blame.  There are two people in the relationship which means you both are responsible for how it is going.  This means all the good and all the bad.

4) Focus on how you feel, ask about how they feel and let them understand you really want to do what you can to make things work.  So don’t say things like “you do this wrong” or “I don’t like it when you do this” Statements like this make will automatically create a defensive reaction within your Dom/me, as they will want to defend their abilities as a Dom/me and as a person.  Instead state how you feel, “I feel really sad and depressed when you push me away when I try to serve you”

Consider a New Mistress

Of course, you might find yourself in a situation where your Master/Mistress just isn’t providing you what you need. And They might not what to change Their ways. In these cases, you might need to find a new Dom/me altogether. This sounds a little dramatic, but if you’re not happy in your relationship, you’re not going to be a good slave and your Dom/me isn’t going to be too happy about what’s happening in the long run. You owe it to yourself to try to change things, but if things don’t seem to change, it’s time to look for a new Master/Mistress.

In the beginning of a new BDSM relationship, it might seem too difficult to be a slave, so this might be coloring your experience. As with anything difficult, give it a little time to see if things work themselves out, but when you begin to realize that things aren’t changing, then it’s time to take action: talk, change, and reevaluate your progress. If things aren’t working out, there are plenty of other Dom/mes out there who might fit better with you.


Master Bishop

BDSM Slave Training Program


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