When A Sub Doesn’t Tell You When Something Hurts

You have a slave who wants to impress you. It’s cute, isn’t it? They grin and bear it through all of your tortuous ideas, but that’s only a good thing up to a certain point. You see the blood on their skin and you notice that they have injuries that make certain positions difficult. And yet, they don’t say a thing. While you have to admit they are being ‘good’ slaves, they are also being stupid at the same time. What is a Dominant to do? Plenty, it turns out.

No Pain, No Gain?

Now, there’s a strong connection between BDSM and pain as those who are involved in this are generally big fans of feeling pain and giving pain. That said, there is a line which should not be crossed – the point at which pain might be inflicting pain that is going to be permanent. For example, if you were to pinch a nerve in a slave for too long (because they didn’t tell you to stop), you might find that this nerve continues to hurt, long after the session is over. Nerve damage can lead to even more painful conditions, which is going to make a slave less than useful to you in a dungeon.

Stepping In as the Dominant

Your role as the Dominant in this situation is to set the pain limits right from the start. If you’ve started off your relationship with a slave as a bit of a contest to see how much pain the slave can take, it’s really no wonder that your slave might not want to tell you that they’re in a lot of pain. You need to begin your slave contract with the understanding that while a slave is going to feel pain, they are not going to be suffering pain for longer than is absolutely necessary. The slave also always needs a way to express their pain to you, whether with a word or with a movement.

Encourage your slave to let you know when they can not take the pain anymore or when they feel like something is going wrong. As the Dom/me, you will stop, evaluate the situation and then decide whether you should continue. This way if there is a problem, it will be controlled before things get out of hand.

* Remember to check in with your slave throughout your session and remind them of their safeword. Sometimes with such an intense scene, a slave can lose themselves and even forget their safeword.

Punishing for Keeping Pain Silent

A slave who has been instructed in how to communicate pain is one that should be punished for not expressing this pain to you. And the best punishment for this sort of situation is to simply tell the slave to go away. Do not see the slave for a while so they have to sit with their actions and their decisions. Tell them why you are sending them away and then tell them that you will see them again once they can prove to you that they are able to communicate in the way that pleases you.

Your silence will be punishment enough for their silence. Few slaves don’t learn from this sort of punishment. Pleasing you is their top priority, after all. Once they realize they need to be taking care of themselves, then they will make the changes they need to make.

Some slaves think they need to be as tough as possible in order to please their Dominant, but then forget to take care of their own health. This does not have to be the case in your contract. Remind your slave they can not please you, if they do not take care of themselves first. Slaves need to be able to tell their Dom/me they are in pain so they can play another day.

To learn how to keep your slave healthy so they can serve you best, while still pushing their limits check out ===> BDSM Dominant Training Tutorial


Master Bishop

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4 thoughts on “When A Sub Doesn’t Tell You When Something Hurts”

  1. That true. but my slave really enjoy the whipping I did, until his back and ribs full of bloods. They liked this kind of tortures

  2. Nice article, although I had to take some exception to the following paragraph:

    “For example, if you were to pinch a nerve in a slave for too long (because they didn’t tell you to stop), you might find that this nerve continues to hurt, long after the session is over. Nerve damage can lead to even more painful conditions, which is going to make a slave less than useful to you in a dungeon.”

    I’d have thought that the simple moral principle that you would not want to do permanent harm to someone under your care would be a far stronger reason than how useful they might be in the dungeon.

    Otherwise, what can I say? Great article! Very clear and full of the kind of common sense that is often all too rare.

    1. You are right Mark, I was just trying to be cheeky and lighten up a serious topic. I guess I will have to work on My humor, but your are correct in that the simple moral principle of harming another person should be reason enough to always be careful.

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