A submissive often walks into the dungeon, gets into position, and then waits for whatever will happen to happen. They don’t worry about the toys that are being used or what they need to think about – the Master or Mistress will take care of the details. A sub must take their own health and safety into their own hands, to do this it’s best for the slave to take responsibility for the toys that are being used on them.
As a sub you do not know how many people have used those toys before you or if they have been properly cleaned. By bringing your own whips, floggers, and other implements, a sub ensures a Dominant has all they need, and that the sub has more confidence in the safety that they deserve from sexually transmitted diseases and other communicable diseases.
As a Dominant the only way you can make sure your scenes are hygienic and safe for both you and your sub is to either:
1) Buy new toys for each sub you play with. To put your sub’s mind at ease it is best to take them shopping with you, so they can see it is new. OR
2) Explain to your sub if they want to play they must bring only new toys or toys that have only been used by them. For their safety you will not be supplying any equipment or toys for the scene.
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A Slave's Job & Duty
A slave should be doing all they can to make their Master or Mistress’ job easier. Whether this means arriving on time or bringing their own toys, they should actively look for ways to make their scenes more effective. Most slaves will ask their owners what they can do to prepare for a scene, but they might also want to ask if there’s anything they can bring. By offering to bring different toys, or just by bringing them along every time, this shows the slave is interested in being more than just a passive slave. They are actively helping their training process by bringing the tools they feel need to be used on them. The slave is always responsible for their own health and safety, even with long time partners.
** submissives: Do not play with any Dominant who refuses to use your toys and insists their toys are fine. If a Dominant can not accept your concerns for your health then they do not deserve to play with you.**
The Question OF Safety & Health
When someone new is training the slave, it’s best for the slave to bring his or her own toys. While the Master or Mistress might be reliable in terms of providing clean conditions, it never hurts to be safe. Using their own whips and floggers will assure the slave that they will not be exposed to the skin or the blood of another past slave. Just as a person might bring their own toothbrush for an overnight, a slave will want to pack up a bag of the things they want used on them, cleaned and ready to go. This bag might also include any other items that are better for their bodies. For example, when a slave is allergic or sensitive to a certain kind of lube, the slave should bring his or her own preferred brand.
The Element Of Surprise
Even though the slave might bring all of the things they want used on them, there is no telling what the Dominant might do. They might choose to use all of the items in the bag, or they might choose to use some of them in a different way than what that slave had imagined. The Master or Mistress will also get a chance to come up with a scene on the spot since they might not have seen the items in the bag until the slave shows the contents to them. This system is actually quite exciting for everyone involved, and safer.
Since a slave might want to visit a professional Master or Mistresses as a part of their development as a slave, it makes sense to have a goodie bag ready to go to these sessions. While safety is certainly a consideration of any Dom or Domme, a slave is still responsible for his or her own safety in the end. When they bring what they need, it can help to set the tone of the scene, but also the slave can more easily relax into the experience knowing they are safe.
When it comes to playing with another person and there is an exchange of bodily fluid, there is always a risk of catching or transmitting a disease. There are a few things you can do to reduce the risk and ensure you and your partner’s safety. None of these prevention techniques are 100% effective:
The only 100% safe and effective method for not being at risk for catching any type of sexually transmitted disease is through abstinence. This means abstaining from any sexual and BDSM related activity.
For more information on Sexually Transmitted Diseases go to:
The Centers For Disease Control And Prevention
**Please speak with your doctor or a medical professional for more information or about any concerns you may have.
To Your Continued Journey,
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11 thoughts on “Why Subs Should Bring Their Own Toys”
i all ways use new toys with new people.I then give them to the sub to bring back for the next time and I am glad to hear you tell others that is the way to do it for I have other doms say what you said about they take care of it.I have not ever wanted that to be the way I do it.I learned in Germany when I was young that you all ways have new toys for new people.Have a great day.
For some while it has been difficult for me to visit a Domme with whom I had a good relationship with regular visits and visits to clubs with Her. I started to visit another in London with whom I easily developed a good relationship. I now find it easier to re-visit the first and know she will ask whether I have visited anybody else. Should I tell the truth? Pepe
You should Tell the truth ALWAYS to ANY dominant you play with. If you disrespected her wishes by going and visiting another Domme if she specifically asked you not to, then you should own up. and accept the punsihment. If she didnt say that you couldnt see another Domme, then no rule has been broken.
I do find your reasoning that it was easier to visit this “new” domme as opposed to traveling to visit your “old” one, quite strange though. In my opinion, you should relish the chance to show how devoted you are by going the extra distance in order to see her. But thats just because I insist on respect!
i haven’t expirience this at all but i want to, in you’re case pepe you should be honest and tell her the truth if ever she ask!
First I’d just like to say that I’m really happy to see people leaving comments and adding suggestions to the articles. That is why W/we created the academy as a place for people to learn and help each other grow.
As for your question Pepe, a Dominant/submissive relationship is very much based on trust. you must trust your Dominant, and your Dominant must be able to trust you. A part of building trust between you and your Dominant is being open and honest with each other. Without it a Dom/sub relationship can not survive.
Thanks for sharing. Most of my submissive don’t care (or don’t know) about these safety measures so I have been relaxed about it – using my own toys (with condoms when inserted) and thoroughly cleaning and disinfecting in between clients.
Looks like it’s time for an update in policies!
Staying safe in Las Vegas,
My first D/s relationship was very informal and our favorite game to play was the one where I presented him with an item and he used it on me. The look in his eye when presented with a wooden spoon or hairbrush, priceless!
What a great game. I love the idea. Thank you for sharing Holly
I think you will get a lot from this?
Love you Sweetheart!
I applaud you for posting this topic. I’m not sure if you have already done so but as far as I’m concerned this also includes bringing in a brand new play partner. You have no idea where he/she has been or who they have been with. Why should I put my health at risk because you have other needs? Just saying, due to the promiscuity of today’s society be prepared for the possibility of losing a partner.