A submissive often walks into the dungeon, gets into position, and then waits for whatever will happen to happen. They don’t worry about the toys that are being used or what they need to think about – the Master or Mistress will take care of the details. A sub must take their own health and safety into their own hands, to do this it’s best for the slave to take responsibility for the toys that are being used on them.
As a sub you do not know how many people have used those toys before you or if they have been properly cleaned. By bringing your own whips, floggers, and other implements, a sub ensures a Dominant has all they need, and that the sub has more confidence in the safety that they deserve from sexually transmitted diseases and other communicable diseases.
As a Dominant the only way you can make sure your scenes are hygienic and safe for both you and your sub is to either:
1) Buy new toys for each sub you play with. To put your sub’s mind at ease it is best to take them shopping with you, so they can see it is new. OR
2) Explain to your sub if they want to play they must bring only new toys or toys that have only been used by them. For their safety you will not be supplying any equipment or toys for the scene.
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A Slave's Job & Duty
A slave should be doing all they can to make their Master or Mistress’ job easier. Whether this means arriving on time or bringing their own toys, they should actively look for ways to make their scenes more effective. Most slaves will ask their owners what they can do to prepare for a scene, but they might also want to ask if there’s anything they can bring. By offering to bring different toys, or just by bringing them along every time, this shows the slave is interested in being more than just a passive slave. They are actively helping their training process by bringing the tools they feel need to be used on them. The slave is always responsible for their own health and safety, even with long time partners.
** submissives: Do not play with any Dominant who refuses to use your toys and insists their toys are fine. If a Dominant can not accept your concerns for your health then they do not deserve to play with you.**
The Question OF Safety & Health
When someone new is training the slave, it’s best for the slave to bring his or her own toys. While the Master or Mistress might be reliable in terms of providing clean conditions, it never hurts to be safe. Using their own whips and floggers will assure the slave that they will not be exposed to the skin or the blood of another past slave. Just as a person might bring their own toothbrush for an overnight, a slave will want to pack up a bag of the things they want used on them, cleaned and ready to go. This bag might also include any other items that are better for their bodies. For example, when a slave is allergic or sensitive to a certain kind of lube, the slave should bring his or her own preferred brand.
The Element Of Surprise
Even though the slave might bring all of the things they want used on them, there is no telling what the Dominant might do. They might choose to use all of the items in the bag, or they might choose to use some of them in a different way than what that slave had imagined. The Master or Mistress will also get a chance to come up with a scene on the spot since they might not have seen the items in the bag until the slave shows the contents to them. This system is actually quite exciting for everyone involved, and safer.
Since a slave might want to visit a professional Master or Mistresses as a part of their development as a slave, it makes sense to have a goodie bag ready to go to these sessions. While safety is certainly a consideration of any Dom or Domme, a slave is still responsible for his or her own safety in the end. When they bring what they need, it can help to set the tone of the scene, but also the slave can more easily relax into the experience knowing they are safe.
Transmitted Diseases
When it comes to playing with another person and there is an exchange of bodily fluid, there is always a risk of catching or transmitting a disease. There are a few things you can do to reduce the risk and ensure you and your partner’s safety. None of these prevention techniques are 100% effective:
- Don't play with another person until you feel you are comfortable within a monogamous and committed relationship. Both of you can get tested at the same time for any type of sexually transmitted disease.
- Always wear protective gear while playing together. This includes condoms, dental dams, medical gloves (which can be picked up at your local drug store) **Do not play with any person that refuses to use condoms. If you are submissive and a Dominant wants to have sex without a condom, you have the right to say "No!" Just because you are submissive does not mean the Dominant has the right to do whatever they want. It is your job to protect yourself at all times by ensuring the Dominant wears protective gear while playing with you.
- Don't break the skin. Your skin is the first layer of defence against infection. Any time you break or puncture the skin, there is a chance of infection. If this is a type of play you enjoy, then only use equipment that has never been used before or that has only ever been used on yourself and has be properly cleaned by you.
- As stated before a submissive should bring their own BDSM gear and refuse to play with anything else. You never know who those toys have been used on or how well they have been cleaned.
- Have both your partner and yourself have regular medical check ups.
The only 100% safe and effective method for not being at risk for catching any type of sexually transmitted disease is through abstinence. This means abstaining from any sexual and BDSM related activity.
For more information on Sexually Transmitted Diseases go to:
The Centers For Disease Control And Prevention
**Please speak with your doctor or a medical professional for more information or about any concerns you may have.
To Your Continued Journey,
Master Bishop
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BDSM Protocols: Part 1 – Introduction
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Rewarding A Submissive For Good Behavior
Despite the commonly held belief that BDSM is essentially all about punishment, pain, whips, chains, and anything that might cause severe agony, the exact opposite is more commonplace. If you dissect the definitions of Bondage, Discipline, Sado, and Masochism, three of those words can be related to pain play, and even bondage can be used in a painful way, depending on how it is applied. If you search for BDSM, many images are submissives with strained faces being subjected to painful experiences. It can be hard to see past that first glimpse for many. While much attention is focused on discipline and pain for dramatic effect, when it comes to actual submissive training, rewards and positive reinforcement tend to be more effective in submissive training. As the old saying goes, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”
Punishment Basics – Why, When And How
Most of us can recall a time when we did something wrong as a child and then were punished for it. We were probably made to sit in a corner or take a ‘time out.’ When a slave has done something wrong, as W/we have learned from childhood, sometimes punishments can be effective at correcting the behavior that is if the submissive wants the behavior changed. The point of the punishment is to link the inappropriate behavior with the feelings of the unpleasant punishment which will occur if the behavior is repeated. This allows people to learn (some learn more effectively from punishment than others) from their mistakes so they will remember to not let it happen again. To do this, the Master/Mistress can employ a number of mind controls that will cause the slave to rethink their behavior and reconsider their future actions. Before you can include any kind of punishment training into your slave training there are a few necessities:
i all ways use new toys with new people.I then give them to the sub to bring back for the next time and I am glad to hear you tell others that is the way to do it for I have other doms say what you said about they take care of it.I have not ever wanted that to be the way I do it.I learned in Germany when I was young that you all ways have new toys for new people.Have a great day.
JW
For some while it has been difficult for me to visit a Domme with whom I had a good relationship with regular visits and visits to clubs with Her. I started to visit another in London with whom I easily developed a good relationship. I now find it easier to re-visit the first and know she will ask whether I have visited anybody else. Should I tell the truth? Pepe
Pepe.
You should Tell the truth ALWAYS to ANY dominant you play with. If you disrespected her wishes by going and visiting another Domme if she specifically asked you not to, then you should own up. and accept the punsihment. If she didnt say that you couldnt see another Domme, then no rule has been broken.
I do find your reasoning that it was easier to visit this “new” domme as opposed to traveling to visit your “old” one, quite strange though. In my opinion, you should relish the chance to show how devoted you are by going the extra distance in order to see her. But thats just because I insist on respect!
i haven’t expirience this at all but i want to, in you’re case pepe you should be honest and tell her the truth if ever she ask!
First I’d just like to say that I’m really happy to see people leaving comments and adding suggestions to the articles. That is why W/we created the academy as a place for people to learn and help each other grow.
As for your question Pepe, a Dominant/submissive relationship is very much based on trust. you must trust your Dominant, and your Dominant must be able to trust you. A part of building trust between you and your Dominant is being open and honest with each other. Without it a Dom/sub relationship can not survive.
Thanks for sharing. Most of my submissive don’t care (or don’t know) about these safety measures so I have been relaxed about it – using my own toys (with condoms when inserted) and thoroughly cleaning and disinfecting in between clients.
Looks like it’s time for an update in policies!
Staying safe in Las Vegas,
Mistress Ivana
My first D/s relationship was very informal and our favorite game to play was the one where I presented him with an item and he used it on me. The look in his eye when presented with a wooden spoon or hairbrush, priceless!
Hi Holly,
What a great game. I love the idea. Thank you for sharing Holly
Master Bishop
I think you will get a lot from this?
Love you Sweetheart!
Thanks.
I applaud you for posting this topic. I’m not sure if you have already done so but as far as I’m concerned this also includes bringing in a brand new play partner. You have no idea where he/she has been or who they have been with. Why should I put my health at risk because you have other needs? Just saying, due to the promiscuity of today’s society be prepared for the possibility of losing a partner.