Recently events have caused me to reflect on this amazing journey i am sharing with my Master. How it began and where we are today and some of the Whys… i recall beginning with the conversation… Telling my husband of 18 years that i had these desires…Then exploring and learning about the many intricacies of the BDSM lifestyle and more specifically for me the M/s power exchange lifestyle.
i recall a training assignment a few years ago where i was asked to make a journal entry and list 50 Reason why i want to be a slave to my Master. It took me awhile to really think about this and i’m fairly certain some of my reasons could have been duplicated. Trust me by the time i reached 40 i was struggling… This assignment was, however very eliminating and valuable. And the journal has developed from being a training tool to being a place a platform to explore and perhaps understand some of the Whys in my life…
You know what i am referring to. The Why we do what we do or feel what we feel or want what we want… these are very important questions. Today, i would like to share another Why.
You see as i travel through this amazing life with my Master and i grow in my submission and my service it has become less about why i want to be a slave…. and more about why i SERVE as His slave…
Relax, i’m not going to list fifty reasons but i am going to share a very personal journal/letter i recently wrote for my Master.
First i want to say this…. i Serve freely and with great love, obedience, honor and trust and as much grace as i can present. . my service and devotion was not something that just happened. This was something that grew as a result of the commitment, and work and honesty i had not only with myself but with Master. my service grew because of the honor, respect, integrity and love of my Master.
Yes, our lifestyle may not be traditional but we experience life in the same traditional ways everyone does. As a slave i may express my love and gratitude differently than others, but i what i feel, that deep emotional connection and passion i feel needs expression , and for me, well my heart is full when i can share those expressions on my knees, naked, body and soul. Completely open and exposed to the one person whom i know will shelter, nurture, care, respect, love and desire me… Master.
I hope that while you explore and partake in the non-traditional, please take time to ask Why, why i want to serve, why i serve a particular way, why i serve a particular person…
Here is my most recent Why, perhaps, you would like to share one of yours.
Why i serve You. (A letter to Master)
i serve You Master, because even though i came as a package deal with a 10 year old son, an angry divorce and a financial nightmare, You wanted me. At a time when i was broken, battered, used and desperate for some direction and stability in a life that had somehow spun out of control. You still wanted me. i serve You because you taught me to Hope. And all You asked from me was an open heart.
i serve you Master, because You never hesitated to make Your feelings and intention known. You saw the future, You had a plan and i was going to belong to you. W/we would marry and raise our boys together. You promised to take care of U/us and to keep me safe and happy. i serve You because you gave me my Dream (a Family). All you asked was that i share it with You.
i serve You Master, because when the opportunity came for me to advance in my career and to contribute to the financial growth and stability in our lives you didn’t feel threatened or jealous. You encouraged me. Knowing i needed to see for myself what i was capable of achieving. i serve You Master, because while climbing the corporate ladder You were there to guide and support me and with a hot meal on those late nights. You gave me the freedom and courage to realize my potential. i serve You because You gave me back my self-worth. All You asked was that i give as much energy and focus to our relationship and family and to never allow the career to come first.
i serve You because when the test was positive after we had agreed we did not want to increase the family number’s You open Your arms and set me in your lap and rocked me as i cried. i serve You because You grabbed my shaking, crying, wet, snotty nose face and kissed me so hard and deep i almost forgot why i was crying. And then W/we laughed. i serve You because You stayed and filled my heart , giving me comfort and peace. All You asked for was my heart and commitment to You and O/our future.
i serve You because when we received the news that our little Girl’s heart stopped in my belly You cried with me Sir. You helped deliver her and then W/we held her and loved her and cried some more. Then, You put Your grief aside, called in the family reinforcements and You gave me time to mourn. Then You gathered Your strength to take care of the arrangement. i serve You because You gave me Your unselfish heart and strength and shared Your pain with me. All you asked was that i not shut You out.
i serve You because when mom passed and dad needed care you said “yes” Of course we will take care of him. You knew that meant leaving the job and financial security You had worked so hard to achieve and start new. New job, New home, New state, New life. i serve You because you put aside Your privacy, Your financial and professional achievements and security to give me the gift of staying home and enjoying these precious days ….caring for my dad without any burdens or guilt. All You asked was that i believe enough in O/our relationship, love and commitment to each other, and to Trust that together all was possible.
i serve You Master because when i shared all my deep dark secrets, desires, and fantasies with You, there was no disgust, shock or shame. There was no judgment or condemnation. I serve You because You embraced my passions and desires and promised to take me to those wonderful exciting passionate, erotic places i have been longing for.
i serve You because You ignited a flame of desire, love, hope and trust that burns eternally so deep within me in a place that can only be called my soul. i serve You Master because You gave me Your heart and passion, Your guidance, comfort and strength.
i serve You because you gave me Your promise.… All You asked for was my Trust.
Master, for as long as You will have me i will serve You because.. i belong to You, i Trust you, i Love, Honor and Respect You. i am complete and whole Because of You. i serve You Master because…You wanted me.