i have finally figured out that i am far more submissive then i
ever thought possible. That is all thanks to you and all the
information you have given me. i don’t know where i would be
without your guidance.
While i know i want to be more submissive to my mistress, i find
there are times when i’m just not in the mood or i can’t get into a submissive headspace.
How can i get myself in the mood when i’m not or get into a submissive headspace, especially when my Mistress wants me to serve her?
DK, New York
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Master Bishop's Opinion
Even though you might have the best intentions of serving your Master or Mistress, chances are good that you’re human too.
We all have ‘off’ days. (both Dominant and submissive) and days when we just don’t think we can focus as well as we probably should. But when you’re in a BDSM relationship, chances are also good that you will want to get into the submissive headspace, even when you don’t feel like it.
Of course you want to serve your Dominant to the best of your ability, and impress the socks off them, as well as a few other things. But when you are not in the mood, it’s hard to get into the right submissive headspace to be able to serve.
What Is A Submissive Headspace
The submissive headspace is so much more than just being turned on or really, really horny.
Its that beautiful space in the mind where the submissive can go to be free. It the area of the mind where the submissive desires are strongest, the cravings to serve inescapable and the urge to please burns brightest.
Once a submissive finds themselves within this natural state of being their mind no longer resists, but instead embraces and accepts all.
But in order for a submissive to reach this euphoric state of higher submissive consciousness there are a few crucial factors that first must be in place.
1) Trust – An strong belief in their partner’s reliability
2) Safety – an unwavering knowledge that they are completely safe and protected from all manner of harm.
3) Connection – A deep strong bond that is built between two people via intimacy, communication, safety and trust.
Without these three parts of a D/s relationship, no submissive can feel secure enough to let their mind slip into the deeper mental glow that is submissive headspace.That pure connected focus with their Dominant where their submission is at most its most powerful and intense. An intoxicating state of service and submission.
Assuming you have developed the profoundly deep connection that is required to ignite the submissive headspace, we also have life and its many wonderful interrupts and overwhelming dilemmas. Any number of which can pull a submissive out of their blissful state into a whirlwind of frustration in any given second.
Constantly bombarded by life’s overwhelming issues and the need to switch back and forth can create an environment where it can be hard to get back to the submissive headspace. As with most things in life the more we force a situation the harder it can be to reach it.
A submissive headspace is no different, it is not a mental state that can be forced. Before you give up hope there are a few things you can do to help your mind escape back into submissive headspace once again.
How To Reawaken Your Submissive Headspace
The more detail you add to your submissive journal the more illuminating it will be when you reflect back upon it.
Be wary of any Dominant that believes submissives are always wanting to serve and are constantly in a submissive headspace. If they can’t understand that a submissive can lose a desire to be submissive and serve you will not be able to get the support you need.
Don’t ignore their efforts
When a sub is struggling to feel a submissive desire but truly want to keep busy and still please you by completely tasks, don’t under value their sacrifice. Make sure you show your submissive the gratitude, and appreciation you have for all their hard work and effort.
And let them know how proud you are of them!
I know it can be hard to get back into a submissive headspace once you have slipped out but don’t give up hope to fast. You may find with a few changes you will be right back to begging to serve with an insatiable desire before you know it.
Do you find there are times when you fall out of a submissive headspace? What do you do that helps you to regain that beautiful headspace? Please feel free to share in the comment section below.
By Master Bishop
The founder of the BDSM Training Academy. Master Bishop has been involved in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle for over 19 years. With a love for education both learning and teaching, Master Bishop has passed on his knowledge and experience to others entering into the BDSM lifestyle for over 14 years.
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