Guidance, Education, Knowledge and The Gift

Recently i was criticized for my efforts to continually seek out knowledge so that i can continue to grow and develop and blossom as a slave to my Master. And more specifically for my on-line slave training and my eagerness to share what i am learning.  To that i say “How Sad” for those who believe they have no more left to learn.

Fortunately i am extremely hungry for knowledge and an article i read on-line gave me valuable insight and inspiration to try and use one of the recommendations to bring a new and hopefully pleasurable experience to Master. The end result was truly overwhelming and added a new depth to O/our passion as well as O/our M/s dynamic. It was so intense and passionate and binding that i was brought to tears.

But, had i chosen to stop learning, had i chosen to not put into practice some advice that was given in an article i read on-line, i may have missed this beautiful experience and gift. How many experiences or gifts are you willing to miss?

Please allow me to share how by being willing to learn and apply that knowledge and to grow in my submission and service to Master i was given an amazing gift of tears one night.

**First a Little Background;** i am slave/wife to my Husband of 20yrs and His owned and collared slave for 2 yrs. Master and i are taking this journey together and He too is learning and developing His skills and mastering His role and dynamic as my Owner and Master.  W/we are still navigating our respective roles and developing a balance between our new roles and dynamics, that of Master and slave while still maintaining some of the original personalities, dynamics and relationship qualities that first attracted us to each other and helped us to maintain a healthy happy life together for all this time.

One of the qualities Master found attractive was my frank and open admittance that i liked sex.. Yes mom i said it. i like sex. So because it is one of my favorite things i was not shy about going after what i wanted and enjoyed. i was very comfortable being a seductress. Now Master although extremely strong and controlling actually enjoyed this particular trait in me and often found it to be a huge turn on. As Master would say “Everyone enjoys being desired and taken and ravished once in a while.”

**my Dilemma:** As a submissive/slave can i still be a seductress? Must i always wait for Master to initiate the scene? Can i still be submissive and still hold on to those parts of me that Husband/Master first found attractive?

**Answer: The Article: ** The title of the article is “How to start a BDSM scene”. What caught my attention about the article was that it opened up the possibility and acceptability for a submissive or slave to start a scene (not control it), but initiate one or respectfully communicating a desire to participate in a scene with your Master/Dom.

Immediately i was interested since the article seemed to be addressing the dilemma i was struggling with. i was trying to reconcile the balance between the obedient slave and the sexually forward woman i was when i first became intimate with my Husband, before He became my Master. i wanted to hold onto a piece of that particular attraction because i knew Master enjoyed that quality in me and i am always looking to find new ways to surprise, excite and please Master.

To be fair the article was not specifically addressing my particular dilemma, in fact the article began with someone’s thoughts on, “Why submissives mis-behave”  and then asking – “Can you describe a few scenario’s on how to start a scene from both the Dominate and submissive view?…”  See? Not directly related to my scenario but absolutely applicable. Here is a link to the article. i hope you’ll read it.  www.bdsmtrainingacademy.com/how-to-start-a-bdsm-scene

Applying what i Learned: So exactly how did this article aid in my dilemma? Let me take you to a night just a few weeks ago.

After reading the article i began formulating a plan. The goal was to be respectful and obedient following the rules and protocols while communicating with Master my very hot, passionate erotic sexual desires for Him.

i spent several hours preparing for master to return home. Shower, shave, hair, make-up and a particularly attractive floral sundress one of Master’s favorites, no panties (Master’s rules). Then i prepared one of Master’s favorite meals, a beautifully grilled steak with fresh salad. The table is set with all the proper place settings but today i have added flowers and wine to the setting.  Master’s favorite before dinner cocktail is in the refrigerator.   Putting the final touches on the salad and the steak is being kept warm in the oven and i am almost breathless with anticipation. Waiting for Master to arrive home.

My heart is beating rapidly. i am nervous, which seems to be adding to my heightened sexual awareness and i’m not sure if i can contain my excitement enough to get through my evening protocols. Then, the door opens, the dog runs to greet Master and i am standing inside the kitchen door waiting for my turn to properly greet Master. Then, the evening begins.

“Welcome Home Master. Your slave missed you”. (Soft warm embrace and a kiss on the cheek). “Dinner will be served at (….)”. “Shall i help you change before dinner Sir”?

Once Master is comfortable i am excused to put dinner on the table. i retrieved Master’s drink and served it to Him. With a slight smile and crook of his eyebrow He takes His drink, thanks me and asked “what’s the occasion?” smiling coyly i reply “You Sir, You are all the occasion i need, Sir.”

As dinner was coming to an end my excitement was barley containable. So far everything was going well. No mistakes, pleasant dinner conversation and a delicious meal. But now it is time to clean up and as is the rule this is my time to speak openly about any subject or concern and to make requests. This was the perfect time to request the additional evening preparation time i needed for my plan.  i asked Master for an additional 10 min of personal preparation time. Of course i was required to explain why i needed the extra time. Master was teasing. He already knew something was up and He was trying to trick me into telling him. Luckily i was prepared. “Master your slave respectfully requested an extra 10 minutes to prepare herself for You this evening. Your slave was hoping that Master would allow her to surprise Him with a new outfit this evening”..  Silence….. and then, thankfully, my request was granted and i could finally let out the breath i didn’t realize i was holding.

8:00pm, Master is in his office and His coffee has been served, time to prepare for the evening. i have chosen a simple black lace bra and lace thong, thigh high lace stockings, black 4 inch heels.  Pretty much my standard slave, evening wear, then i add, Black training collar, wrist and ankle cuffs and my leash. The leash is hooked to my collar and wrapped over my wrist. i have turned the bed down, placed the massage oil on the night stand next to the cold bottle of water and in my mouth is Master’s quirt. i hear Master enter O/our room 8:40 always on time.

Opening the bathroom door, i drop to my hands and knees and crawl to my place at the foot of the bed.  i hand the leash to Master, He tugs and pulls me to my feet and begins a slow deliberate inspection.

Standing in preparation for our evening ritual, hands behind my back, head down, eyes lowered and i can barely breathe. Master eyes are dark and hidden. I can’t tell if he is angry or pleased. i begin to tremble and i’m not sure if i’m excited or worried. Have i made an error? Is He pleased? i wish He would just say something. i am so aware of everything around me, the heat from Master’s breath as is touches the back of my neck, the sweet smell of my sex and i am so desperate for Master words, for His touch, anything!!!.

Standing directly in front of me, i can only see the tops of his bare feet. But i can hear his breathing and it sounds almost as labored as mine.

Master releases a deep sigh. He placed his hand under my chin lifting it so i am looking into those beautiful deep, hungry, brown eyes. He removes the quirt from my mouth and claims it with a kiss filled with so much passion and desire and i can feel that i am the object of His pleasure. i am overwhelmed with my desire to be completely consumed by this amazing Man.

Master releases my mouth and i see His control returning as He says “So tell me slave, Do you present yourself to Me of your own free will?” with soft breathless words i reply “yes Master”  Master took over from there.  

That evening Master took me to a place of overwhelming passion, desire and intense emotion and my love for Him flowed through my tears.

i cannot find the words to describe what happens when the balance is just right, when the wife and slave are no longer two different personalities. Letting go and opening up and presenting myself to my Master with a heart and mind filled with desire ignited or re-ignited a connection and passion that we have shared for over 20 years but somehow lost touch with as we began our new M/s journey.

But, what i can tell you is; had i not been willing to continue to grow and learn, to seek out any and all resources available, i could still be struggling with my dilemma instead of enjoying this amazing experience and lifetime memory. Oh and then there are the many new seductive ideas being hatched in this dirty little mind of mine… Bonus!!

Thank you for indulging me.  i hope you find my story and the article referenced above enjoyable and helpful in Y/your journey.

Respectfully,

sub-kathleen

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