I had to accept my failures as a Dominant in BDSM

House Rule: Failure

I wanted to write about a powerful topic that must people avoid and tends to keep the majority of us down. It considered worst than any four letter word and even more taboo to talk about these days then BDSM. And that is “FAILURE”

In a time when the law of attraction and positive thinking have practically become new age religions. Nobody wants to even whisper the word “Fail” in the horror that it might attract a the one thing we are ultimately trying to avoid.

So instead of talking about failing, we avoid it and avoid anything that would force us to experience it. This mindset has at one time or another caused all of us to stop trying because feeling that painful demoralizing soul crushing emotion of failure is just too overwhelming. 

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How do I know this to be true because I have been beat down, disheartened, discouraged and heavy from the immense feelings of all my failures.  And I thought I must be the only one experiencing all these continued failures.

Whenever I read about successful business people, they never mention ever failing, all the focus is on all their massive successes. To the point it would just appear as though their entire life consisted of one massive success after another. 

If you watch any sports there are the winners who have succeeded to achieve their goal and the losers who obviously failed.

Social media is an even worst echo chamber for this. Ever time I open my account someone is jetting off to another tropical destination to the point you wonder when they ever have time to work.They put their successes on a continuous rotating blast to the world to say how much success they. But they are really saying is how failure never touches their lives.

I Have Failed

Let me be clear, I have failed in my life.

I have failed more times than I can count. I have failed:

  • in my professional career
  • in sports I have played
  • As a man
  • As a human being
  • And yes, I have failed as a Dominant
In fact, I can honestly tell you I have failed more times than I have ever succeeded.
And when I was younger I used to used to beat myself up about my failures and allowed those failures to define who I was as a person.
It wasn’t until I was forced to truly look into myself and ask myself after a series of soul crushing failures if I somehow a different person after all of this. 
And the simple answer was YES, I WAS, but not in the way you may think.

My Biggest Lesson

You see I finally learned that my failures were actually the times when I grew the most in life. Yes, my failures still define me but not in the negative way they used to.

I wouldn’t have the wisdom I have now, without experiencing my past failures.

I wouldn’t be the man, the human or the Dominant I am now without those powerfully important failures in my life.

Instead of being consumed by my failures, I have learned from my failures to help better guide my future.

This does not mean I search for failure or go out of my way to achieve it, but I no longer fear it. The fear of failure does not stop me from trying and it doesn’t demotivate me from trying to reach my goals. 

Instead of viewing failure as staircase to obscurity, failure is the escalator driving ever closer to success. You can only fail your way to your goal, before you will ever be able to reach it. But only if you are open and willing to learn from those powerful lessons.

Alpha Dominant With Suit And Tie

By Master Bishop

The founder of the BDSM Training Academy. Master Bishop has been involved in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle for over 20 years. With a love for education both learning and teaching, Master Bishop has passed on his knowledge and experience to others entering into the BDSM lifestyle for over 15 years.

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By reading and accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are responsible for any use of the information in this article, and hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates harmless in any claim or event.

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