When you read about BDSM, it’s hard not to think about bondage, ropes, cuffs etc. But for many people who want to have a Master or a Mistress, or who want to have a slave, it becomes a concern. After all, is bondage really necessary in a BDSM relationship? While it’s true that the ‘B’ seems to indicate this to be the case, all relationships have different fetishes and flavors, so maybe yours doesn’t have to include ropes. Here’s what you might want to keep in mind.
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The Matter of Ropes
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Ropes are symbolic of more than just some sweaty fun. Bondage, to some people, is also a way to show that the things that bind us are the things that also free us. Since most people don’t think of BDSM as a philosophy of life, let’s explain this more thoroughly. Most people have shame around sex and around their sexual desires. When a person chooses to incorporate bondage into their lives, it seems that they are trying to take their sexual desires out of the shadows, expressing their desires more freely and openly. For some, the idea of bondage is a way to tell the rest of the world that they don’t care about the conventions of society – that they will do what they want to do because it feels good. By being bound in ropes, some people believe they are freeing themselves of the restrictive attitudes toward sex.
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Why ‘B’ is So Commonplace
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Bondage is also quite common because it’s something that anyone can do – with little cost or experience. A few ropes from the local hardware store are inexpensive and a little practice (Bondage Tutorial) can offer a wide variety of binding techniques. Bondage is also widely accepted as standard practice within the BDSM world, so it’s something that is just linked up with those who are in these power oriented relationships.
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Can You Train without Bondage?
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Let’s face it – bondage can make training easier. When a slave isn’t wriggling out of the way or simply not staying in the position you want them to be in, things are easier on the Master or Mistress. But while the ropes that bind are helpful, it seems that the slave’s training should be encouraging them to learn how to stay in a position because their mind is making that choice, rather than because the ropes aren’t allowing them to have any other choice. So yes, you can train without ropes or ties or any other bondage tool. However, starting out with bondage at the beginning can help the slave learn to trust a Master or Mistress more fully, thus allowing them to be ready for the day when bondage isn’t necessary.
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Controlling without Help
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But the truth is that a dominant can control a slave without the use of bondage, if they like. What needs to happen is that the Master or Mistress needs to show the slave that they are completely under their control. This can be achieved through verbal training and humiliation, through punishments, and through constant training and assessments. Bondage can help in the initial stages, of course, but the power of the Master or the Mistress should be the overall motivating factor for the slave’s behavior.
Control is something that is defined in numerous ways. Bondage is just one form of control. While some might say that yes, bondage is necessary, a lot of this answer will depend on the Master or the Mistress. What does control look like to you?
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For more bondage tips and techniques check out these ===> Rope Bondage Techniques
To learn more ways to gain control of your submissive to go ===> BDSM Slave Training Guide
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Regards,
Master Bishop
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I believe that in this instance, as in many others, it’s possible to “overthink” things. While bondage is easily accepted as one of the mainstays of BDSM, it is by no means a necessary thing. It is as any other practice, simply a tool to be used for any number of purposes. It can be used for a while then put on the shelf. It can be used to train as well as to heighten pleasure. All of this is at the Dominant’s disposal to use as He would any other toy or tool.
If it gets to the point where the sub needs it to feel subservient then the Dominant is no longer in control. He is reduced to the one who provides what the sub requires. One of My submissives was, in the beginning, fearful of bondage but with care and discernment came to accept and enjoy it freely. Another one enjoyed it immediately; even the thought of it excited her but she later learned to respond to just My hands and voice commands. According to her, not being bound required even more submission on her part because she was not forced. She had to make the constant choice to remain as she was instructed, or to perform as she was commanded. This, she said, heightend the experience for her and made her a more devoted slave in the end.
In other words, the bonds on her heart and spirit had transcended the physical ropes. Which in My own opinion are largely what the ropes represent. They are merely a physical manifestation of the binds already on her surrendered heart and spirit. The measure of surrender is, after all, what the submissive gives willingly to her Master and not what he wrenches from her by force or coercion.
I retain the option of physical bondage to be used with My submissives, as with any other tool or practice, and exercise it at My own discretion.
bandage doesn’t have to be necessary at all. you don’t have to use bondage if it feels uncomfortable, you don’t have to use actual ropes, hand cuffs, and/or actual mouth gags. for those who feel they may be a little unsafe because you’re not familiar with using ropes and cuffs or if don’t have a pair of your own, get creative, you can use other things such as scarves, socks, neck ties, tube sleeves, long arm gloves, arm warmers, towels, even your own hands, etc. it doesn’t matter what you use for rope, hand cuffs and mouth gags, as long as you and your partner are communicating, use whatever objects you’re using with your partner properly and safely, especially if it’s your first time weather if it’s for training or not training. my husband and have been practicing bondage for a few good years, in my experience, it’s a great stress reliever, and i feel closer emotionally to my husband alot more but not neccessarily just through bondage of course. we don’t always practice bondage, once in a while and special occasions only.