Adding bondage to a power exchange relationship increases the feelings of control and restriction between a Master/Mistress and slave. Not only are you entrusted with their safety, but you’re also given the power to determine when they will be released. No matter what the goal of your training program is, bondage will enable the slave to sink even more deeply into the realization that they are the one who is powerless. The more you incorporate bondage, the more they will relax into the experience and give themselves over to you.
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How to be Safe with Bondage
If you are new to bondage make sure you learn about what you should never do during bondage.
Before you can start to use bondage in your scenes, you will need to have a clear understanding of how to keep your slave safe. You can do this by:
- Using bondage gear – When your slave is new to bondage, using bondage gear like leather cuffs is softer and more comfortable making bondage easier to handle. The buckles also allow for easier bondage setup and release encase something goes wrong or the person in bondage becomes unexpectedly upset. They also allow a scene or session to continue for an extended period of time as softer bondage gear does not cut into the circulation like rope does.
- Using cotton or hemp rope – If you’re ready to move to the next level of bondage, binding with cotton or hemp rope will be more comfortable, while still being secure. These natural ropes will hold the skin and also slightly loosen to give room for circulation.
- Practicing on yourself – You might try different knots and ties on yourself first to see what it feels like and how it might feel on your slave. See what will hold and where you might need to seek out more training to be effective.
- Remembering about blood flow – The key to safe bondage is to make sure you’re not tying so tight that the slave’s blood flow is restricted. Keeping about a finger’s width of space between the skin and the rope will help. The person tying must be in constant communication with their slave to ensure they are ok: make sure they still have sensation in their fingers and toes, is their breathing changing, is their mental state being affected. They must also maintain an active lookout for any signs of restricted circulation (limbs turning blue) and any other physical changes that might indicate that the slave is no longer able to handle the bondage.
- Knowing sensitive areas – Try to avoid tying a slave up around their bony areas, joints and their neck. These are areas where you can easily do damage while movement can cut into the bones and other necessary structures, e.g. the windpipe.
- Negotiate beforehand – Always talk with your partner and know what is on and off limits. This is key to SSC and RACK practices within BDSM. Once you have both agreed, always stay within the agreed upon limits.
- Having a safe word – In all scenes, it’s a good idea to have a safe word or movement to help alert you to when your slave is in pain or when they are having trouble with the restriction.
Slow and easy is the best way to begin bondage, and it will help keep the scenes fun and intense, without causing permanent harm.
Have the Slave Direct the Bondage
If submissive is new to bondage and nervous allowing them to control the action can be a way to ease their mind and empower their desires. This shows they are in control of what happens that they can also trust you to keep them safe and you will not do anything that they are uncomfortable with. Encourage them to direct exactly what they want to have bound and how tightly they want to be bound.
Once they’re tied up, point out how they have given themselves over to you, how they have surrendered. You can then tease them to orgasm or use implements of pain and pleasure on them to show how the bondage keeps them from moving – while also intensifying their experience. When the slave can’t move, all they can do is relax into the moment and just experience.
Be in Control of the Bondage
The first scene you can do is to start by letting the slave know how you are going to bind them. While this might seem like it’s ruining a surprise, it also allows them to know what is going to happen—which actually intensifies the scene. “Now I’m going to tie your wrists together.” You ask the slave to put themselves into your hands, to be tied up so they can’t move.
You can start with the wrists and the ankles, moving their arms in front or above their head. You can also tie them to a chair or to a post in a room. Once they’re in position, you might point out how helpless they are and how you could do anything to them.
Fun Bondage Game Ideas
Bondage is one of the primary ways to build on a power dynamic and show a submissive just how vulnerable they can be.
With that said, just because a game has been mentioned below does not mean it can be incorporated into play or should be. All play in BDSM including the bondage games below must be negotiated and agreed upon prior to play.
1. Bondage Dice
How to Play: Use dice to create randomized dares. Each number on the dice corresponds to a different bondage position or restriction (e.g., 1 = wrists tied, 2 = blindfolded, 3 = gagged, etc.). The submissive rolls the dice, and the dominant carries out the corresponding restraint.
Of course, part of the fun is watching the submissive trying to roll the dice from each new bondage position.
Fun Twist: A second dice can determine the length of time they must stay in that position.
2. Make Them Beg (Tease&Denial)
How to Play: With your submissive bound, hold off doing anything. If there is anything they want, they must first ask for it. However, they can’t just ask they need to beg for it before you will even consider it. Usually the longer you make them wait the most desperate the begging will become.
Fun Twist: Tease and denial of the requested activity can intensify the begging. Allow them to enjoy their favorite sexual activity, let them ride the experience and once they are fully immersed and ready to explode in pleasure…STOP the activity immediately. Keep performing this cycle changing time, tempo and intensity. Always keep them guessing, bring them to the edge and make them desperate to orgasm. But don’t allow them to until you are completely satisfied with their begging.
3. Guess the Sensation
Fun Twist: For every wrong guess, a small playful punishment or restraint is added.
4. Human Statue
5. Tickle Torture Challenge
6. Bondage Escape
How to Play: The dominant binds the submissive in a way that they can escape from, but only if they can figure out the knots or bindings. The submissive’s challenge is to get out.
Your bondage doesn’t always have to be escapable. Much of the fun is in watching the submissive wriggle around and try to free themselves until they are exhausted and they sink even more deeply into your control.
Fun Twist: Add a timer, the submissive doesn’t just have to escape but they must do so in a set time period. If the submissive escapes within the time, they get a reward. If they fail, they receive a punishment (pre-agreed upon).
Adding in additional pleasurable and painful stimulus while they are desperately trying to escape can always up the intensity level.
7. Pick Up Sticks
How to Play: Throw a bunch of chop sticks on the ground. Then instruct your bound submissive they need to they must pick up every stick and put it nicely back into the container. They can use their mouth, hands or feet but they will receive playful punishment for every stick dropped. Adding a timer can create a true sense of urgency and panic.
Fun Twist: Use fruit instead of chop sticks. Have the submissive use their mouth to pickup blueberries, raspberries or strawberries (if not allergic) and neatly place them back in their rightful container. Bonus reward if the floor is kept clean but there are consequences for any mess left behind.
Watching them wiggle their way around as they make a mess of things is always an enjoyable scene. Of course, always be an arms length away to ensure your slave’s safety and release them quickly if need be.
8. Bound Scavenger Hunt
How to Play: Hide small objects around the room. The submissive is bound in a way that limits their mobility (e.g., wrists tied, legs tied) but allows them to crawl or move in some capacity. The dominant gives clues to the locations of the objects, and the submissive must find them.
The hidden items can be all the wonderful toy, gear and implements you plan on using in your play. Each time an item is found is an opportunity to pause and engage in the delights of the new discovery.
9. Bondage Poker
10. The "Yes/No" Game
How to Play: The dominant asks a series of questions while the submissive is bound, and they must answer without saying “yes” or “no.” If the submissive slips up, they receive a correction or additional restraints.
10. Memory Game
11. Bondage Role Play
How to Play: Bondage can be a powerful proper in adding additional excitement to your role. Just a little bit of rope can set the scene for a steamy night of fun.
Perhaps you just caught an evil spy and you need to interrogate them to find out about their nefarious plans.
A cat burglar has been brought back to the station and as the lead detective you need to uncover every detail of their criminal past.
Or perhaps you are a burglar that just broke into the home and were shocked to find someone in the house. The burglar would need to tie this person up and figure out what they need to do next so they don’t get caught.
Fun Twist: The great thing about role play is that you are only limited about your ability to imagine. So make it hot but as with all things keep it within the agreed upon boundaries of those involved.
12. Body Writing
13. Bondage Twister
How to Play: Play a modified version of the Twister game. After each round, the dominant adds a restraint or binding based on the submissive’s position, creating a balance between movement and restriction.
With all balanced based bondage activities it is essential that the Dominant remains within reach of the submissive at all times. And they are able to step in and support the submissive immediately.
14. Simple Tasks Made Harder
How to Play: Many everyday household duties can be so mundane and boring. However, they are also fairly simple to complete. Imagine if there was a way to make a boring duty that has to be completed more fun and enjoyable to perform.
Well with some well placed bondage ties, many household duties not only can be made harder to perform but thrilling to perform. here is nothing like tying up a slave and watching them struggle to complete a task you have given them.
Choose a specific duty such as dusting the office, cleaning the kitchen floor, or vacuuming the living room, etc. Bind your submissive in a way that limits their movement and enjoy the show as they try to complete the task to the standard you require.
It can not be stressed enough that the Dominant must always be at least an arms length away to ensure your slave’s safety and release them quickly if need be.
Fun Twist: Employ additional motivational tactics with the aid of some inspiring impact toys like crops, paddles floggers or canes to put an extra pep in the submissive’s step.
Sexual activities can easily be made more difficult with help from some bondage ties. For example, just watch how fast a submissive’s oral skills decline as they struggle to satisfy while completely bound. And that is half of the fun!
15. Make Them Miss
How to Play: Tie up your submissive so they are loosely bound and then proceed to tease their erogenous zones, have some fun with some light impact play or why not both.
The point of the game is for the submissive to try and get away from the sensations being administered upon their person. The submissive is trying desperately to keep away, while the Dominant is doing everything in their power to drive their submissive while. Remind them that they are only going to get free when you tell them they can be free.
It is important when it comes to impact play to be as accurate as possible and only aim for more padded areas of the body. Since the submissive will be actively moving this can lead to swings unintentionally missing their intended targets. Therefore it is important to only use your hand or a lighter impact toy and make sure you are throwing lightly. This way any missed hits will not be felt as badly. Of course, always try and stop your swing if you see it is moving off target.
Fun Twist: You can also tie the slave to a stationary object (e.g. a heavy chair, a post, a table) to make it more difficult for them to move away.
16. Count For Me
How to Play: While completely bound, and blindfolded, have the submissive continue to count from 0 until you tell them to stop.
While counting the Dominant will be able to inflict any mischievous (agreed upon) activity to try and break the subs concentration.
The submissive’s job will be to keep a continuous tempo and not lose count. Any deviation from the counting can lead to additional playful punishments.
A paddle to their buttocks or breasts can easily break their concentration and edging them can cloud the mind.
Fun Twist: Let them know you will not allow them to orgasm to you at least reach a certain large number to be determined by you. Every time they lose count, they have to start from the beginning and work they way back up.
17. Trust Walk
How to Play: The submissive is blindfolded and bound at the wrists, and the dominant carefully guides them around the room via their bound hands or their leash, leading them over or around obstacles. This game is all about building trust and focuses on communication.
Attention to keep your submissive safe is essential as you are leading. Remember this game is meant to building trust but can just as easily destroy it, if care and safety are not the first priority of the Dominant for their submissive.
Fun Twist: The dominant can give the submissive gentle commands like “stop,” “duck,” or “turn,” making them rely fully on verbal guidance.
The more you play with bondage, the more you can build on the trust and connection within your dynamic. It can provide the environment that allows your submissive to be freely express their internal desires while satisfying the Dominant’s urges for control. Fun bondage games like the ones above just allow you to keep things fun and add to strengthening the bond between Dominant and submissive.
Do you have any fun bondage games that you enjoy playing? Please share your favorite games in the comments below.
By Master Bishop
The founder of the BDSM Training Academy. Master Bishop has been involved in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle for over 20 years. With a love for education both learning and teaching, Master Bishop has passed on his knowledge and experience to others entering into the BDSM lifestyle for over 15 years.
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I am new to this lifestyle as a FemDom but I am truly enjoying every moment. I am normally very soft spoken sexually. However I really want to learn more ways to tease and punish my slave along with more verbal abuse. It sometimes is hard for me to think outside the “box”.