When it comes to getting your sub in the mood, it would be so much easier if subs were always perfect…but this isn’t realistic. Sometimes subs just aren’t ready for a session, even if they want to be. Your job as the dominant person in the relationship is to make sure your sub is ready to serve you and to be submissive to you when the time comes. And there are ways to help your sub get into the right frame of mind. All you need to do is to start realizing that submission doesn’t just include taking a few swats from the crop.
It Starts Outside of the Bedroom
Ideally, your role as the Dominant is going to start during the day, not just during the scene. After all, it’s much easier to maintain control if you’ve been building it up all day. Make sure to check in with your sub during the day and remind them that you will be needing them that night. Also, make sure they understand that you will expect them to be on their best behavior. When you do this, you show that you are in control of the events of the session and that you are expecting them to provide you with the submission you desire.
Making Your Sub Focus on Serving
If your submissive seems to be having troubles focusing on what they need to do, you might want to stop what you are doing and wait for a moment. This will generally get the sub’s attention and make them realize you are not happy. Stop for a few moments and then remind your sub what you want them to do. Have them repeat it to you until you believe they understand their place and how they have not acted as they should. Continue to stop and then repeat the things you want them to do for you.
Talk is Not Cheap
When you’re in a scene and you realize your sub is simply not listening, even though you’ve talked to them again and again, you might want to stop talking altogether and simply end the scene. Chances are good that this will show the sub that their behavior is not appreciated and it will not be tolerated. But you need to follow through if you introduce this threat. Tell the sub you are out of patience and that the session is over. Then leave. This will not only show the sub you mean business, but it will give them plenty of time to realize they are not in the right frame of mind to enjoy their part of your session as well.
Choosing Discipline for Submission
While ending the scene might be discipline enough for a sub that isn’t really into their part of the session, some slaves need more physical discipline to remind them of their place. Use whatever methods of physical sensation you have chosen together and increase the intensity as you ask the sub to repeat to you what their duties are. This will help focus the sub on their mindset and it will help them block out everything else that might be going on in their mind. Repeat this practice until the sub is focusing only on you and you can continue with the scene you had started before the loss of focus.
There will be times when the sub isn’t going to focus, but when you continue to use consistent discipline and you stop scenes that the sub is simply not cooperating on, you will find that your sub’s ability to get into the right frame of mind is much greater. And that is the mark of a strong Dom/me – creating the space for change in your sub.
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