BDSM Question Corner:
“I have lost my Master’s trust from past indiscretions. How might I work on gaining it back as my Master is trying very hard to trust me but just can’t? Is there something I can do to foster His trust? I totally regret my mistakes and just want to be trusted again.”
Anonymous
Master Bishop’s Thoughts
Trust is a tricky thing in any relationship. In a BDSM relationship, where you have made promises to be trustworthy to another person, not following through on your promises makes things all the more difficult in the future. A slave who is not trustworthy may not seem to be trainable, even if they are penitent and willing to try harder. Can a slave do something to make sure they are deemed worthy to still be a slave? Of course. But even all the promises in the world and the punishments may not make a Master feel any better about the situation. That doesn’t mean a female submissive shouldn’t try anyway.
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Apologies Always Accepted
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While it seems to be common sense, apologies are always a good idea when trust is fractured. This apology should come from the heart and it should be something that you give to a Master when you’re outside of the dungeon. Let them know what you are sorry for and how you have broken the rules that you have set together. In doing so, you will be able to start fresh once more. The key is to not apologize over and over again, one sincere apology makes more sense than many that are half-hearted. As soon as your Master confronts you, apologize, if you haven’t done so already. Once you apologize, this isn’t the end of the discussion, but it’s a good beginning.
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Show Trust in Scenes
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From the point of the apology on, you need to show that you are trustworthy in your scenes together. You need to make sure that you are upholding your part of the bargain as a slave. You need to listen to commands and obey them. This will allow you to create a strong bond of trust with your Master again. You should always obey your Master (within your defined limits), but after you have messed up, it’s all the more important that you be the best slave possible.
**Special Note: Just because you may have made a mistake, it does not give your Dominant the right to command you to perform activities that you have already stated you would not do.
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Take Action to Correct Old Actions
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If you have suffered from past indiscretions, this generally means that you have cheated on your Master or you have done something that they would not have liked. The best way to show that you are trustworthy again is to prevent that situation from happening again. Get away from the person that you cheated with. Or you might want to stop going to the places where you have been unfaithful or disobedient. If there isn’t a clear way that you can help to correct the situation, talk to your Master about the actions they want you to take. And then do whatever they ask. This will prove that you are willing to change and that you can be trusted again.
While all of these steps will help you to regain the trust of your Master, it does not mean that they will always work. You will have to keep being trustworthy in your relationship. In addition, you might find that even while you have done all that you can, your Master may not want to be with you anymore. This is a good lesson for you and one that will help you in future relationships.
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>>>For more ways to enhance the relationship between a Dom and sub go to ===> Dom/sub Relationship Guide
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Regards,
Master Bishop
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I understand where she is coming from. my master and i are in the same situation. your site has helped us alot and i just wanted ro say thank you for everything that you do master bishop and mistress sophia.