A submissive is a person that willingly gives over control to a dominant, either in a relationship or within a specific playtime. But what drives a submissive to want to give up this control? There are many different motivations, almost as many as there are submissives in the world. Understanding why a submissive decides to take over their slave role allows not only the slave to understand themselves, but also to help the dominant understand what a slave needs from them in order to feel fulfilled.
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The Pleasing Type
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Many submissives are interested in being in a BDSM relationship because they enjoy and get satisfaction from pleasing others. They like to do things that others ask them to do, and are often interested in showing the person doing the asking that they are willing to do ANYTHING in order to please. This might include degrading tasks or humiliating tasks; everything that they are asked to do, they do to prove that they will please who they are with, no matter what. This sort of submissive is interested in being asked to do many tasks during a training session, and possibly when they’re outside of the dungeon as well. A pleasing submissive will actually feel lost if they’re not actively pleasing their dominant in some way, so they will need to be kept busy.
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Doesn’t Want to be in Control
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There are other submissives who offer up control to a dominant because they like the idea of not being in control. These sorts of submissives might only agree to give up control for a certain period of time, while others want the 24/7 experience. This need to give up control can come from a variety of motivations, including being in positions of power in everyday life. A submissive, for example, who is a high-level executive during the day might not want to have all of that control at night, so they are submissive. Conversely, those submissives who are also dominants in some situations might enjoy the ability to give up control from time to time, though not all fo the time.
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The One Who Wants Pain
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In some cases, a submissive wants to be in a BDSM relationship because they want to have pain inflicted upon them, but they’re not interested in doing this to themselves. They want to be punished and tortured in the dungeon, and they will do anything they can to make sure this is the case. Often, this submissive is someone who needs to be in a relationship with a sadist because they aren’t necessarily interested in training, but in the pain that comes from certain implements, for the euphoric release.
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Why It Matters
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Knowing where a submissive is coming from can help to define the goals of training and it can help to create the best possible match up of submissive and dominant. When the submissive isn’t clear about what they want or why they want it, they might move from Master or Mistress to another possible dominant because they’re not getting what they need. If you are clear about your motivations, you can find someone who is willing to meet those needs.
A submissive can have a variety of reasons for being in the slave role. Being clear about your goals and your desires allows you to more fully engage in BDSM, while also helping you create the best possible relationship for everyone involved. When everyone’s being honest about why they’re in the BDSM arrangement or relationship, everyone knows what’s expected of them and whether they’re up for the challenge. Learn more about BDSM Relationships And The Interaction Within
This is a very basic list of internal motivations, but if you feel there are other motivators, please leave a comment below so others can learn about them.Click here to learn about the Internal Motivations Of A Dominant
Regards,
Master Bishop
support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com
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Despite the commonly held belief that BDSM is essentially all about punishment, pain, whips, chains, and anything that might cause severe agony, the exact opposite is more commonplace. If you dissect the definitions of Bondage, Discipline, Sado, and Masochism, three of those words can be related to pain play, and even bondage can be used in a painful way, depending on how it is applied. If you search for BDSM, many images are submissives with strained faces being subjected to painful experiences. It can be hard to see past that first glimpse for many. While much attention is focused on discipline and pain for dramatic effect, when it comes to actual submissive training, rewards and positive reinforcement tend to be more effective in submissive training. As the old saying goes, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”
