I just read this article by sub-kathleen and I had to immediately post it for everyone to read. I know I have talked about trust in BDSM multiple times before, but sub-kathleen has experienced a moment that has reshaped her life and her whole ideas of what trust truly is. It is this kind of trust that will build your relationship and strengthen your bond.
Have a read, I know this article will change your views on what trust really is!
i would like to share a personal awareness and growth i recently experienced that speaks directly to understanding **Trust** and how extremely necessary and valuable it is in any M/s, D/s and or TPE relationship.
Master and i live a 24/7 TPE lifestyle. Master makes all the decisions, He takes care of all my needs, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially everything. i belong to Him and He cares for me like He would any precious possession. i belong to Him heart, body mind and soul.
Recently a significant change occurred in our life. The change was not necessarily a bad thing but it did have an impact on O/our home situation and O/our daily routine. More importantly it had a negative impact on my daily routine and my ability to focus and keep on task.
i was not handling the change well and i found that i was extremely agitated and out of sorts and wasn’t able to concentrate on Master as i so desperately needed and desired. My chores were becoming interrupted on a daily basis so my routine was completely off balance and i was feeling very overwhelmed and stressed and lost. As the days continued these feeling grew more prevalent and i was finding it very difficult to stay focused on Master and this brought a great deal of unhappiness and discomfort which was evident in my actions and attitude.
Finally after too many days of being unhappy, unfocused and out of step Master sat me down and demanded an explanation. When i shared with Him how i was feeling and why i was feeling this way he took me by the shoulders and squeezed them very firmly and said. “I give you permission to take back control of O/our house.” “You my dear slave are a very strong formidable women and i cannot imagine why you would allow this change in O/our home to cause you to lose focus on who you are and who W/we are together.” Then He asked, “Why haven’t you requested time to speak with me regarding these things, why would you allow things to get so far out of control?”
Well my reply seemed simple to me,
“because Sir, this slave did not want to burden You Sir or cause You any unnecessary stress.”
“So You do not **TRUST** me enough to know that your well-being and happiness are my responsibility?” What did you think I would do, get angry because you were having difficulty adjusting to the new situation?”
Wow I was completely shocked by Master’s reply. It actually felt like I had just been slapped in the face with the hand of *reality check*….
**TRUST** … was this about TRUST. At first I wanted to dispute Master’s assessment of the situation and more importantly with his conclusion that I didn’t trust Him. My immediate reaction was to respectfully argue that not speaking with Him was not about *not* trusting Him it was about not adding stress to Him. But as a good slave never argues I decided to contemplate Master’s assessment more closely and from His point of view.
Well it did not take me long to see what Master was trying to make me understand. Trust must be complete and absolute. This lifestyle requires constant communication and growth and trust in all things, sexual, physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, everything.
It is as equally important to **TRUST** that when you are having difficulty with your service for any reason that your Master will listen and respect and love and care for you enough to help take the stress and burden from your shoulders. To guide you to a place that is less stressful and to provide you with the direction or encouragement you need to regain yourself and your balance.
This was the new lesson learned.
It is important to trust that you are not an added stress or burden to your Master, to trust when you are being honest and open in how you are feeling that your Master will not think you have failed in your service and to trust that your Master considers your burdens His to take care of.
Well i immediately apologized to Master and respectfully asked His forgiveness for my lack of TRUST.
Yes punishment was called for. Sort of a let’s not forget punishment lesson.
i have taken back control of O/our home and my service to Master is back on track and I will never disappoint Master again by not trusting him with my stress, frustrations and or life’s challenges.
Master has earned this Trust and so much more.
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4 thoughts on “Complete Trust Within A Dom/sub Relationship”
Thank you so much sub-Katheleen. I too am on a learning curve with my Master. I finally plucked p the courage to pursue t his lifestyle after being made to feel shame and guilt at what I desired. I have absolute trust in My Master but again find it hard sometimes to share things with him that I may feel will burden him, You have given me the courage to be open and honest with all things and to trust what he says to rectify the problems that I believe should be my responsibility to resolve. Thank you so much for your insight sub-Katheleen, it’s so nice to know I’m not alone. With love to you and Your Master xxx
Thank you Claire-Louise, how gracious of you to reply.
i think you are a very courageous person for pursuing your desires and i am extremely touched that my story has given you more courage and helped you to see how important complete trust (once earned) is in a Master, sub/slave relationship.
You are definitely not alone, and when i receive feedback such as yours, i am encouraged and reassured that i am not alone with my struggles either.
Best wishes to you and your Master for happiness and success on Y/your journey.
what spot on article thank u BDSM train’g Acad
Hm in my eyes there was no real need for punishment. Deep trust is on subconcious level, needs a lot of time to be built and cooperation and coordination on both sides. TPE is only in name total. Here is more issue of communication. But again this is just my view and it does not mean my way is best or only… I would discuss with slave all aspects of this situation and try to encourage more opennes. If slave is empathic and want to “protect and spare” Master – this is something that should be differently channeled and cheerished in its own right since such qualities are needed in slaves.