Learning From Dom/sub Training Mistakes

Let’s face it – whether we want to admit it or not, we all make mistakes – in and out of the dungeon. And while it might seem better to simply avoid mistakes in the first place, it also seems like it would be a good idea to learn from the mistakes you do make. Whether you’re a Dominant or a submissive, you can learn from the training mistakes that you make, which will help you to develop your own skills in the dungeon, even if you don’t think you have room to improve – or even if you think it’s the problem of the other person (and it generally isn’t).

Determine Where Things Might Have Gone Wrong

You can’t correct a mistake if you’re not sure where the mistake took place. You need to think back over the training session to try to pinpoint the exact moment when the mistake took place and then write this down. It might just be a one time thing, in which case, it can help to simply think the mistake over in your mind. But if you have been feeling like your BDSM has been ‘off’ for a while, it can help to keep a daily journal. If you begin to notice that certain mistakes continue to happen over and over, you will want to make sure that you’re starting to learn from these mistakes. If this should make sense, you might want to call out the mistake as it happens in a scene if the other person doesn’t understand what you’re trying to describe to them. This is a little jarring, but highly effective if you’re having troubles communicating the issue.

Figure Out the Ideal Scenario Sans Mistakes

Once you have determined where the training session went wrong, it’s a good idea to talk this out with your partner. You will be able to think out the problem between two people, which is going to be far more effective than just with one person. You two can talk out what you wished would have happened and how you could have avoided the problem to begin with – if that is possible. The main idea is to talk out the problem outside of the bedroom so you can look at the issue objectively and you can begin to see whether something needs to be done or if this was just something that happened and doesn’t need more discussion.

Training Mistakes That Continue

But when things continue to happen, the same mistakes again and again, it might be better to stop a scene when they are happening. At that point, both partners will want to try to problem solve the situation. You can then begin to correct the issue as it’s happening and if the solution doesn’t work, try something else. While this might not make your scene as powerful as it might normally be, many partners learn better from actually correcting the mistake mid-scene rather than correcting the mistake in a discussion long after you have separated from each other. Sometimes you can just forget exactly what happens unless you are in the heat of the moment.

Mistakes happen and they happen frequently. But these mistakes don’t have to seem like they’re a sign of bad training – far from it. By learning more about how the two of you work together in a training session, you will be able to learn what you need to learn and then modify your training to work for YOU. And in the long run, this is going to make you the best possible Dominant or the best possible submissive.

>>>For more ways to enhance the intensity of your Dom/sub relationship go to ===> Dominant/submissive Training


Master Bishop


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3 thoughts on “Learning From Dom/sub Training Mistakes”

  1. Hi

    I am a master stared early at age of 13. (OMG 50 years ago). The definition of BDSM is as varied as the peopel involved, there is no one right answer or wrong asnwer..
    (unless you do that in the scene).
    No one is ever too old to learn and yes we all make mistakes in life. One thing I try to do is also learn from mistakes made by others as well
    Master Tom

  2. If we never made mistakes, we would never learn. Perfection is a defect, not an asset. Yet we strive to achieve the impossible.

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