Navigating BDSM When You Are New

BDSM is a very complicated and intensive subject with as ton activities to learn that can be applied in multiple ways in an infinite variety of lifestyle choices. There are is so much information that it can be overwhelming and intimidating for someone new to even get started. I know because I have been there myself.

I’m going to let you in on a way that will allow you to break things down so you can develop the type of BDSM lifestyle that you desire.

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Learning About BDSM Is Like...

Learning how to get started with physical fitness. So lets compare the similarities between BDSM and physical exercise that way you can better understand how we can apply centuries of learning to help you navigate your BDSM journey. This way you will be better prepared to take in all the new information you are going to come across and easily adjust it to suit your unique needs and desires.

Now that we can see how these two completely different lifestyles have such commonalities let’s take some lessons coaches, teachers and mentors in physical fitness use to help you to better navigate your BDSM training.

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Prepare Yourself Mentally

Normally our day is taken up with lots of stressors, whether its work, home, family, finances, etc. etc. etc. It doesn’t matter where your stress is coming from or how much or how little it is, all these things don’t just have an impact on your mentally, but physically as well.

When you are walking into training and you haven’t shifted your mindset from vanilla life to training and prepared yourself for what is ahead this can lead to not only a bad training session but potential injuries.

If your head is still focused on unfinished reports and if you will be able to pay your bill, it is not focused on making sure you are staying safe during training. And that is when accidents tend to happen. Make sure you take the time to refocus your mind to your training, figure out what you need to get done for that session and how you are going to complete the task at hand.

Before you step into the dungeon make sure you take some time prior and focus your mind on your training ahead.

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Always Warmup

Everybody knows that you cannot from a state of none motion to instantaneous maximum level physical output. Meaning nobody walks into the gym and starts lifting the heaviest weight they are capable of. This puts the body under a tremendous amount of stress and strain and likely to cause serious injuries.

Even high level athletes take the time to warmup their bodies. Not only does this give them an opportunity to get their bodies in motions, it loosens up the joints, warms up the muscles and tendons but it also gives them time to focus their mind onto training.

Don’t jump into a BDSM scene going as hard as you can humanly go from the start. Warming up is crucial for all involved, take that extra time to get your mind and body in motion. Get your mind racing and your juices flowing before you even start.

This also means don’t start swinging for the fences when you first begin your scene. Light impacts are great for warming up a bottom, getting the submissive’s body and mind ready for gradually more and more intense impact play. It will also save the Dominant from blowing out their rotator cuff.

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Start With The Basics

Sport science has come a long way in the last ten years. More intricate exercises, complex machinery and complex training systems have been created in the last few years. Yet despite these more optimal forms of training, when someone is first learning to exercise they are always shown the basic primary movements.

When you are first learning, your primary focus needs to be on how you feel and connect with each exercise. Throwing in convoluted exercises that are difficult to perform and complex training concepts become overwhelming to someone who is learning how to connect with their body in a different way.

By keeping things simple and staying with the basics allows someone new a chance to focus on becoming attuned to themselves. The more complicated the beginning tasks, the more confusion, the less focused and more likely to create an issue.

In the beginning, don’t get caught up in all the various complex BDSM activities. Start with the basics, get know feel comfortable and how your body resonates with them before you move on.

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Go Light

Nobody in this world would ever think its a good idea for anybody who has never lifted a weight in their life, should start by trying to lift 600 lbs over their head. Any sane person knows this is an insane idea and would likely hurt any newbie trying to attempt it.

Instead we know the best and safest way to start lifting weights is by first starting out with light weights. In fact, its usually better to even start with weight much lighter than they would even think. Then over time progressively add more weight as the person gets used to training and learning more about what their body is able to handle.

BDSM is no different, just because you think you can handle the most intense scene in the world does not mean that is where you should start. Instead when you are first starting out, go lighter than what you think you can handle. Err on the side of safety and over time through multiple scenes you can slowly progressively increase the intensity.

I know this is disappointing to hear because your fantasies have been so intense for a long time, but you have a lifetime to build up to making that fantasy a reality. However, if you choose to try and lift that 600 lb fantasy from the start you are likely to end your BDSM adventure before it ever had time to start.

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Proper Form & Safety First

The key to a long happy and healthy training life is making sure you always use proper form and think of safety while training first. Many people get caught up in their ego and try to do things beyond their abilities, distorting their body as they desperately try to showoff with weight too heavy for them. This leading to an unsafe training environment for their body and those in their vicinity.

Train within your abilities and limits, stay focused on keeping proper form and posture so you can keep your body healthy and safe for future BDSM training session. Training with your ego and taking on more than you can chew is only going to lead to safety and health issues now or in the near future.

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Communicate With Your Partner

When training nobody knows the athlete better than the athlete their self. They know their abilities, and their limits. They know what they have been through that day and what they are and are not mentally/physically prepared for. They know what is going on with their body with every rep and they are the first person to know if anything goes wrong.

In athletics communication is a two way street between coach and athlete. Yes, the coach will tell the athlete what they need to do in their training but if the athlete doesn’t communicate back what they are feeling this can lead to major problems. The coach needs the athlete to give them feedback so they can help to adapt, change and adjust all training to better suit the athlete. That can’t be done without the athlete opening communicating about everything they are feeling.

BDSM is no different, without communication you have nothing. Nobody is capable of reading minds, and they will not know what is going on if you don’t tell them. Just as a high performance athlete will express all their thoughts, feelings and troubles, so do you need to be open and honest with your partner to ensure you both are on the same page and moving forward in the same direction together.

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Learn & Grow

I’m sure you are thinking, that is all well and good but is there just one way to train that works?

Is there one way to exercise? As you can see from a simple google search, there are an infinite number of ways to train. That is because there are so many different people in this world, with different metabolisms, different body structures, and different goals just to name a few. So there is no one absolutely right way to train to works for everybody.

With weight training, I spent years learning the basics and how my body responded to different stimulation. Once I mastered the basics, I slowly began applying different methods, and angles to better connect my mind muscle connection. All while making sure I stayed safe and maintained proper posture and form.

Even to this day, I continue to learn new things about my body and how it responds. What I learned in the beginning wasn’t wrong, its what I needed to reach the point I am at now. The only difference is now I know enough about myself, my body, my abilities, my limits and my ego that I can take make the training mine. My BDSM evolution has followed a similar path.

And your BDSM journey will as well, there is no one way that is going to work perfectly for you or your partner. Instead you need to follow and apply the concepts above, get used to your BDSM training, learn to become more connected and in tune to yourself, your body and your emotions.

In time, as you become comfortable with your desires and abilities, you will begin to adjust everything that you have learned to match you. You will find your style and your BDSM will become an expression of you. You will be able to more clearly communicate all of this with your partner and create a way that works best for the both of you.

To get to this point, you must first start at the beginning. Keep things simple, apply the basics, focus on staying safe and keep things light. Take this time to connect with you and communicate with your partner. As you begin feeling more comfortable and confident you can slowly begin to try more and adjusting it to suit you and your partner’s needs and desires. Until one day, you will realize you have your own style of training that works best for you.

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By Master Bishop

The founder of the BDSM Training Academy. Master Bishop has been involved in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle for over 19 years. With a love for education both learning and teaching, Master Bishop has passed on his knowledge and experience to others entering into the BDSM lifestyle for over 14 years.

Copyright 2008-2021 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com

By reading and accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are responsible for any use of the information in this article, and hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates harmless in any claim or event.

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5/5 (2 Reviews)

1 thought on “Navigating BDSM When You Are New”

  1. I was very pleased with how well this article was thought out and written. Not only does it describe the pleasures of the BDSM lifestyle but it also makes a valiant effort to connect the partners and their daily life with the safety and satisfaction of the BDSM life. While I am not new to it my partner is and they were very comfortable reading and understanding this article.

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