Pain Versus Anxiety In BDSM

As a slave, there are a lot of things that you can be feeling at any given time – pain, pressure, and fear, as well as joy, ecstasy, and sweet submission. But during an intense scene, it can be difficult to decide what you are feeling. You might be concerned that you are being hurt in a way that is not acceptable to you or perhaps your fear is turning into anxiety and is becoming overwhelming, so you may need to stop and use your safe word. However, you also don’t want to stop a scene early if you are enjoying it. Figuring out what you are feeling can be difficult, so here are some tips to see whether you really need to stop the scene or if you need to push through your pain.

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Fear, Anxiety & Eye Popping Pain
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Fear and Anxiety can actually make the body feel like it is experiencing more pain then it actually is. This is the bodies survival mechanism to inform you, that you need to flee the dangerous situation you have put yourself in. While this is perfect for surviving in the jungle, it can become difficult when trying to receive a caning for the first time.

To make sure that you are actually in pain and that your fear is not overwhelming you, have your Dominant take multiple breaks while administering the pain. During these breaks, think about how the pain feels and whether it has gotten worse as the scene has gone on. If so, then it might be a good idea to stop and assess any damage. If the pain has come and gone during the scene and you don’t feel overly anxious about it, then it’s probably okay to keep going with the scene.

Truthfully, if something is really wrong, you will know it’s wrong and you will stop the scene without even thinking about it. Of course, it is always better to error on the lighter side. Take note of how far you took yourself and perhaps push yourself more the next time. Its always best to take baby steps when dealing with fear and anxiety. Over time, these will dissipate as you become more comfortable with the scenario and your Dominant.

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When You Just Need to Slow Down
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Other times, you might be doing a scene with your partner and it might be a scene that is simply new to you. The new sensations you are having might be overwhelming, but not necessarily overly painful. However, since they are new, you might be thinking you need to stop things since you don’t know what’s going to happen next. These scenes are common for new slaves, and you will want to start by breathing as deeply as you can to begin to slow down your heart rate. If you find that you are so afraid or in pain that you can’t think straight, then things need to stop. But as you begin to gain control over your reactions, you will find that deep breathing and focusing on something what you enjoy will bring you back to a pain-free state.

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Knowing Your Limits, Knowing Your Pain
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In the end, it’s about knowing your limits and when you want to push them. A contract with your Master is a good idea, but it’s not necessarily something you remember when you’re in the middle of a scene. Instead, you need to think about a way that you can see whether you need to stop what you’re doing or if you need to focus harder on what you are experiencing. Breathing and coming back to your body can help. Touch yourself on your body somehow to see how you are feeling and think about how this feeling compares with other feelings in the past.

If you have no past experience of something, fear is expected. Try to breathe through it and if you can’t, then there’s no shame in stopping. Never play with your ego and try to prove you are tougher then you are. More submissives have injured themselves by doing this then can be counted.

Each time you get into a scene with your Master, you have an opportunity to work harder than you did the time before. While you might not give 110% every single time, you can begin to give more of yourself with each scene – and your Master will notice it.

Regards,

Master Bishop

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